Roll Call 142!

Blue_Bird · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:15 AM

Want to go back to sleep but have plans today

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I really dont wanna work today

Said everyone who worked ever....

ofthevalley · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:32 AM

Okay. Finished breakfast...almost time for lunch lol.
Getting ready to head out now. It’s so cold I’d much rather stay home but people expect me to feed them.
Tonight is take out night! Not sure what I’ll get. Probably tuna.

ofthevalley · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:50 AM

Sweet! I’m wearing NON jeggings today and they button and zip because I am not bloated! Size 26

ofthevalley · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:54 AM

Awww...Funny Face hated Max...following this picture she jumped on his head lol
Roll Call 142!

falcon09 · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:54 AM

Lost the key to my mailbox.

Gonna have to go up to the post office and get a new one tuesday

falcon09 · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:56 AM

This really sucks because I got an email that my letter from vocational rehab was delivered. The one time I actually need to read a letter...

newtus · Jan 12, 2019 at 11:59 AM

Someone kill me

Im working

Blue_Bird · Jan 12, 2019 at 12:40 PM

Possible trigger:

Tuesday will be the 3rd anniversary of my mom's death. I dreamed of hear last night, I have every single night for several years, in every one she dies

Findingreason · Jan 12, 2019 at 01:05 PM

I'm seeing faint faces almost constantly showing up on my screens. Makes no sense. I'll start journaling these things again for the pdoc...

Findingreason · Jan 12, 2019 at 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Possible trigger:

Tuesday will be the 3rd anniversary of my mom's death. I dreamed of hear last night, I have every single night for several years, in every one she dies

I'm so sorry Blue_Bird.

If you need to talk at any point feel free to message me.

newtus · Jan 12, 2019 at 01:08 PM

I quit

newtus · Jan 12, 2019 at 01:17 PM

I think im gonna start on another book. But itll be longer. We will see.

ofthevalley · Jan 12, 2019 at 03:07 PM

Did my shopping.
Proud of myself. Got Wendy’s for my son and his gf and I didn’t get anything for myself. Even though I was starving!
I’m eating a much less exciting meal.
Banana on seed bread with chia, flax, and hemp seeds and watermelon. Better than it sounds...or looks. Wish seeds weren’t so good for you. I feel like a bird lol
Roll Call 142!

Blue_Bird · Jan 12, 2019 at 03:13 PM

I love my cats

Annie just helped me when I was hearing something not there and having

Possible trigger:

suicidal thoughts because I miss my mom. I wish she didn't die. I know everyone dies but she really suffered and deteriorated so fast with the Leukemia. It was scary. . She would still be here. It happened all within 9 months. Diagnosed, then dead.

Anyway Annie helped me come back to reality and purred and got me to pet her

ofthevalley · Jan 12, 2019 at 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I love my cats

Annie just helped me when I was hearing something not there and having

Possible trigger:

suicidal thoughts because I miss my mom. I wish she didn't die. I know everyone dies but she really suffered and deteriorated so fast with the Leukemia. It was scary. . She would still be here. It happened all within 9 months. Diagnosed, then dead.

Anyway Annie helped me come back to reality and purred and got me to pet her

I’m so sorry Blue_Bird. I 100% know what you are going through.
My mom died of cancer. Diagnosed January 2nd 2007 and dead September 6th 2007. She suffered tremendously and eventually wasted away.
I know everyone says it and you probably just want to hit people that do but it does eventually get better. You never ever get over it or stop being sad. But in time the memories become more pleasant and you can look back and smile. I still tear up when I talk or think too much about my parents but I’m not strangled by it anymore.
The first couple years were almost unbearable. My heart hurts for you.

it will get easier.

Blue_Bird · Jan 12, 2019 at 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

I’m so sorry Blue_Bird. I 100% know what you are going through.
My mom died of cancer. Diagnosed January 2nd 2007 and dead September 6th 2007. She suffered tremendously and eventually wasted away.
I know everyone says it and you probably just want to hit people that do but it does eventually get better. You never ever get over it or stop being sad. But in time the memories become more pleasant and you can look back and smile. I still tear up when I talk or think too much about my parents but I’m not strangled by it anymore.
The first couple years were almost unbearable. My heart hurts for you.

it will get easier.

Thanks valley, I appreciate that. I'm sorry about your mom

cancer is so horrible. I hate it. It's scary.

Findingreason · Jan 12, 2019 at 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I love my cats

Annie just helped me when I was hearing something not there and having

Possible trigger:

suicidal thoughts because I miss my mom. I wish she didn't die. I know everyone dies but she really suffered and deteriorated so fast with the Leukemia. It was scary. . She would still be here. It happened all within 9 months. Diagnosed, then dead.

Anyway Annie helped me come back to reality and purred and got me to pet her

I lost my grandmother to Leukemia as well.

It overtook her so quickly, too. It's hard to believe its been 16 years. But yes, as Valley said, the good memories will gradually get better, and over time things get easier.

I'm glad Annie helped ground you and get you back to reality and the present moment.

ofthevalley · Jan 12, 2019 at 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks valley, I appreciate that. I'm sorry about your mom

cancer is so horrible. I hate it. It's scary.

Anytime BB. If you ever need to talk I’m usually around.

I’m so glad you have your cats

I took over ownership of my moms dog when she died. She brought me years of joy and love.

ofthevalley · Jan 12, 2019 at 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks valley, I appreciate that. I'm sorry about your mom

cancer is so horrible. I hate it. It's scary.

Oh and I meant to add this.
My mom was incredible and not just because I love her. About 4 months after her doc we were out shopping with the kids and she said to me “I am grateful for this cancer...it’s given me a chance to live”.
I will never forget that.

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Roll Call 142!

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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,743 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 11:15 AM #221 Want to go back to sleep but have plans today __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi

ofthevalley Legendary Member Since Feb 2015 Location: USA Posts: 11,326 (SuperPoster!) 9 499 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 11:32 AM #223 Okay. Finished breakfast...almost time for lunch lol. Getting ready to head out now. It’s so cold I’d much rather stay home but people expect me to feed them. Tonight is take out night! Not sure what I’ll get. Probably tuna. __________________ Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

ofthevalley Legendary Member Since Feb 2015 Location: USA Posts: 11,326 (SuperPoster!) 9 499 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 11:50 AM #224 Sweet! I’m wearing NON jeggings today and they button and zip because I am not bloated! Size 26 __________________ Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

ofthevalley Legendary Member Since Feb 2015 Location: USA Posts: 11,326 (SuperPoster!) 9 499 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 11:54 AM #225 Awww...Funny Face hated Max...following this picture she jumped on his head lol __________________ Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 11:54 AM #226 Lost the key to my mailbox. Gonna have to go up to the post office and get a new one tuesday

falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 11:56 AM #227 This really sucks because I got an email that my letter from vocational rehab was delivered. The one time I actually need to read a letter...

newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 11:59 AM #228 Someone kill me Im working __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Findingreason Resident Queer Girl Chat Moderator Member Since Dec 2016 Location: Finland Posts: 3,190 7 4,864 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 01:05 PM #230 I'm seeing faint faces almost constantly showing up on my screens. Makes no sense. I'll start journaling these things again for the pdoc...

newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 01:08 PM #232 I quit __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jan 12, 2019 at 01:17 PM #233 I think im gonna start on another book. But itll be longer. We will see. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII