Roll Call 143

no not really. she jot down a few thing and we worked on a relapse prevention thing and such and warning signs.

I'm so ready to go home. Waiting for my last class to start. Then I can leave @2:45. It's really hot in here

Sorry to hear that Day Tripper. Hope you feel better soon! Kit

Morning everyone. Took my meds. Got a text from the pharmacy saying my meds are ready to be picked up too so maybe Saturday I'll get that done. Played a game last night with my Dad and my Mom's Foster Mom. It was really fun. Just going to chill tonight after work. Maybe get some extra sleep. HUGS Kit

I missed the news that you were going back to school. I hope it's going well!

Had a terrible morning at class. Felt like a student on the screen was reading my thoughts. Her facial expression was constant and looked like she was miserable and looking at me the whole time. Couldn't pay attention.

Took a quiz and I had to rush it and got probably a zero. Right when I finished it even though I rushed it, it was time to hand it in. Completely not fair. I couldn't focus. My cognition is terrible right now.

After I walked to the pharmacy and got my Invega injection because I was a day late..

I don't know about school anymore. I want to drop out. I feel like I'll fail. I'm not happy enough to ask questions or care what the teacher is saying anymore.

Well, I requested a SnowWolf, but my friend didn't want his ID online, so he shopped at Vapewild and got me a Voopoo. And a Clieto tank. Can't wait! I'm finally going to be able to sub ohm!!! And I can tootle puff, too, with my Nautilus tank. Just in case there's too much vapor lol.

Everything else is forgotten while I wait for my new vaporizer. I read that the fire button can stick, so I'm slightly worried. I have no idea how to charge the batteries though.

It was going well

But I guess I can't give up and will keep trying

When did you start, this most recent time?

That's the spirit! Maybe it was rough today because your invega was late. Keep trying.

Your new Avatar reminds me of Chickenfoot.

A little over a month ago.

I think I’m going to go see Alita: Battle Angel at the cinema tomorrow.

Hey everyone. How are things going today?

I'm...a little unnerved. Told the band leader last night I was going to the health centre today for my knee. Well I did just that around 3pm. Well, I am waiting on the opposite side of the street after my appointment for my wife to pick me up. Guess who comes driving up just a minute or two before? The band leader. I don't know if he saw me, but I saw him. Kinda scared me. What if he is stalking me, or its just a large coincidence? I can't stop thinking about it.


What's everyone up to?

Feels so good to be home

I'm not up to much. Just emailed my former T. Trying not to freak out. She usually responds in like a week or so. I'm still on my lunch break at work. It would be nice if the second half of the day went by as quickly as the first half. Kit

That would scare me too but hopefully it's just a random coincidence...Hugs Kit

My life is flooded with bloody coincidences. Every time I talk to someone, I seem to be on their level based on what I've been thinking about recently.

I slipped on the ice this morning on my way to class and some stranger saw, stopped and offered me a ride. I got in the car and I started thinking, "Is this the start of my adventures? Telling strangers stories while hitchhiking"

It seems like everyone is connected to my thoughts. Like some unknown force is gathering data and simulating it for me to make things easier for me, to some unknown destiny.

Not being able to focus, skipping my injection because I wrote the 13th of February instead of the 7th, telling the pharmacy not to call me because I would know. Someone is watching me and controlling this. Making decisions for me. Telling me to stop the Concerta.

All the times I should have died, I died in a split dimension. I'm invincible because I believe that I will live to 92 years old. Or a certain age that is a secret.

But that's just my magical thinking.. it doesn't bother me anymore. In fact, it's kind of cool. Makes me think of what happens after death. Maybe I get to meet my fears and the fears attack me. Maybe I'll be running all of my life, towards something that I've been running from. The dark side of karma. People don't get karma because they don't understand it. It's physical.

Everything I do on the internet is monitored. The government sees and then uses energy weapons to control my heart beat. My family being spies. But I block it all out. If I dare think about it, that is part of the problem. If I write it down like I'm doing now, it's even worse of a problem. If I tell them, they will be concerned. But why? They're just thoughts. But if they are thoughts, they are physical thoughts. Thoughts are physical and exist.

I need probably a good understanding of philosophy to be well but I rely on my own insight now instead of reassurance. Maybe because of the meds. Idk.

This may have just gotten a whole lot more scary to me. I went to a local market with my wife and roommate, and I saw a car that looked much like the band leader's car. I think it had the same plate number. Took the number down, gonna compare it to when I see his car tomorrow at band. I'm freaking the heck out. What if he's out to get me? What if others are watching my every move. Stalking me on here, finding me in real life, and then going to do something bad to me. I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt. My hands are shaking and sweaty.

Idk what to do...

Do you think it could be paranoia?