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Default Feb 14, 2019 at 08:08 PM
  #21
I have to stop thinking of creating a group. I can join a group, but creating and maintaining a group is a lot of work. I need to think smaller and just try to promote myself as a mental peer, online. I might also promote my volunteer peer service offline by putting up flyers at or near hospitals and clinics.

I feel that my national government cares a bit more about single men's mental health than state or local governments; even because I think the national government funds Supplemental Security Income and other mental health programs that seem to support individuals regardless of their background. Or maybe it's because the national government has the resources to assist mental health individuals, where my densely populated city has a shortage of them.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 12:47 PM
  #22
well I'm going to shower. I don't dedicate much resources to hygiene. And showering is more vigorous and consuming because mom expects me to clean the bath tub every time I shower.

I can probably take a shower at a gym instead, but that's a waste of money. I give her some 400$ to live here, so I should be able to use the resources.

I can probably have quicker showers to make sure I'm not wasting my time. I'm going to aim for 25 minutes of showering and 5 minutes of cleaning.

I honestly don't see how showering or bathing is important for my health much, but it does affect my social health a bit; as I worry less about my body odor when around people at shops and libraries. my library has a written rule where a person can't be in a library if his body odor repels others; and I honestly feel it's a ridiculous rule, but just an example of how some local communities and societies could be discriminating against people and the homeless.

outside of social health, I guess showering helps keep insects and animals away from me. I don't feel secure walking pass a dog, and feel less secure when I walk pass a dog with my poor body odor. Even during the summer and warm weather, flies would harass me if I wasn't taking frequent showers. I have a fear of flies, linked to my childhood. Even mosquitoes are attracted to body odor, and so I can avoid mosquito bites and their diseases simply by showering.

I also feel more confident exercising, after showering. I guess that's because I don't have to worry about sweat worsening my poor body odor or the scent of my clothes. I don't even feel comfortable wearing clean clothes when I don't shower, because I'd feel that the clean clothes would get dirty too quickly.

Now I guess showering is important for me.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 01:59 PM
  #23
i took a 30-minute shower, which was longer than my 25-minute goal. I think my shower was longer because I have a very worn-out rag. I'm going to use a new rag to take a faster shower, next time.

I was thinking of making showers more entertaining by playing music or media, but first I want to make sure I'm taking quick showers. Quicker showers means more time for me to focus on my other important routines.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 02:08 PM
  #24
I might join the army, later on in my life. a lot of people, who were like me, joined the army. one of the reasons I don't want to join is because of my religion. I have this idea that the army is a place where I get paid to kill. I have this other idea that I'd die really quick in the army. there are a lot of reasons why I can't see myself in the army; but then again, I don't know much about the army, so eh.
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Default Feb 15, 2019 at 06:37 PM
  #25
I didn't read any love poems on valentines day. I have to take a break from poetry to care for myself. my health comes first and I don't want homicidal thoughts again.


I could promote my peer service by contacting local mental health organizations and businesses offline and gaining permission to promote my services within their facilities. Or I can walk pass their facilities and hand out small cards to passerbys. The latter seems more practical. I just have to remember that I'm aiming to find a peer, nothing more or less.

I focus on mental health peers because backgrounds are some of the most simple bridges between people. we are connected through who we are.
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Default Feb 16, 2019 at 09:30 AM
  #26
cleaning the bath tub took 9 minutes rather than 5, yesterday. I should try getting my own bar soap.
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Default Feb 16, 2019 at 08:28 PM
  #27
I was trying to find an online forum of my local community. I ended up discovering a website with a lot of community information! I know so much more about my community now. the information can help me with promotion of my peer service and stuff, i feel.
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Default Feb 17, 2019 at 10:48 PM
  #28
Carelessly trying to find a peer in my local neighborhood, with flyers, might result in finding bullies rather than peers. My mom is enough of a bully, and I don't need any more. Some people discriminate against the mentally ill. Rather, I can focus on finding ways to specifically target my potential peer. Like instead of leaving flyers throughout my neighborhood on a monthly basis, I can meet with people to give them cards or flyers directly.
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Default Feb 18, 2019 at 01:29 AM
  #29
I was watching some gameplay of Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep, and at some point, some dude asks a female main character out on a date. I wonder why I haven't asked any lady out on a date myself. I've not been on a date before.


then again, some women discriminate against me because of my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height. I've been on dating websites where no women responds to my messages. Being ignored or discriminated against can have a grave effect on my social health and can give me social anxiety, especially if I don't have any social friends and positive social experiences to counter that negative social experience.

There's a thing to be proud of, with respect to not going on a date or even not asking women out on dates: I treat women like I treat men. Better yet, I treat women without regard for their gender. I think that's something to be proud about. A lot of men can say that they don't mistreat women, but my history of not dating or sexing women proves that I truly haven't treated women any differently than I've treated men.
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Default Feb 18, 2019 at 12:57 PM
  #30
sometimes I feel like I'd be more attractive if I was more muscular. Unfortunately that wouldn't necessarily be true; as some women and communities discriminate against me because of my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height.

Like if I gained a lot of muscle, would women then want me? Well I haven't wanted any woman in a long time, regardless of how beautiful some women are. So even if I did gain a lot of muscle, that doesn't mean that women would want me.

gaining a lot of muscle is a huge time investment. If I want to gain a lot of muscle, it would have to be for a good reason with a sure solution. I'd rather enjoy my time on earth rather than waste it on pursuing fruitless and vain endeavors.
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Default Feb 20, 2019 at 07:49 PM
  #31
it's funny to think that I was looking at fictional depictions of people, when thinking of this muscle idea. was I hoping to be as attractive as a fictional depiction of human beings? and I know that my sexuality is a lot stronger than others. Just because I find someone attractive, that doesn't mean that others will find me attractive.
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Default Feb 20, 2019 at 07:58 PM
  #32
yesterday I bought milk from the bodega and it was expired. I just don't like buying food from that place, as it's usually very expensive. It's worse when the food is poor quality. Pretty much wasted my money.


So today, I went to the supermarket and got better healthier food. yay! I even took a 38-minute walk to and fro the supermarket.
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Default Feb 20, 2019 at 09:06 PM
  #33
I've been trying to find peers based on background. That hasn't been too promising with respect to mental health. I can't really promote a mental health peer service openly because people in my local town would ridicule me for my mental illness.


I had an idea of trying to communicate with homeless persons, but I didn't know why. Now I've found a reason to communicate with homeless persons: we have a similar economy. of course I'd be assuming that a homeless person has no employment like me, but eh.

I've been mistreated for my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height. these are all areas where I can find individuals of respective backgrounds. I don't have to find a mental health peer, especially if mentally ill persons are mistreated where i live.
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Default Feb 20, 2019 at 09:52 PM
  #34
maybe i should apply for medicare/medicaid and just get therapy. my mental illness makes it difficult to communicate or socialize like others. It's ridiculous that I have to pay a lot of money, just to communicate with local people; but my social health is important.
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Default Feb 22, 2019 at 06:18 PM
  #35
my mom's back from her week vacation at Florida.

I walked by the local homeless shelter. When I was googling for nearby homeless shelters, I read about some incident where a director was killed. It's a bit scary. but I've been to homeless shelters before. they are rough places, yet they are the place where I will find people like me, people of my economic background.

I want to find people to have positive social encounters with, to counter my negative social encounters with mom. some days ago, I had a thought of destroying my mom. If I leave that unchecked, then i might do something that I'd regret.

next time i visit the shelter, i think i'll carry some peanuts for the homeless. I feel that communication isn't free, but communicating with the homeless is definitely cheaper than with therapists. But I'm also probably going to read about substance abuse, before communicating with the homeless, as substance abuse is a factor associated with homelessness and I don't want to accidentally abuse substances.
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Default Feb 23, 2019 at 10:55 AM
  #36
well i'm house-sitting for mom today. can't go to the library until her package arrives.


I woke up late for some volunteer work today. Had I woken up earlier, I would've been able to volunteer and avoid house-sitting. but now I can't even attend late due to house-sitting.

All my fault. But there are more opportunities to volunteer.


I will admit that for a long time, I thought I couldn't do full-time or part-time work because of my dependency on mom. My mom works and makes a lot of money though, and we live under the same roof; so I probably don't need full-time or part-time work anyways. I will need more flexible work, which is why I've been more confident in my self-employment pursuit.
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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 11:28 AM
  #37
I'm going to sing at the park, to communicate with my community. I'm going to investigate the legality of this beforehand.

I wanted to hang around with some homeless shelter yesterday, but I was told that I could get arrested for doing so. I honestly don't know how to find local people to communicate with now. I do know a bit about poetry though. and a lot of men like me have been involved with music and song.


Songs and poetry have a good relation. Songs are a way to communicate. I've not sung before and I would want to communicate through song, which could possibly mean creating my own songs. But to do that, I should sing some other basic songs first, and use elements of those songs to construct my own songs.


but i want to review the legality of singing at a park, first. My neighborhood is not a good place. Some men like me get arrested or shot down for unexplained reasons. Discrimination is something I want to identify and avoid, and reviewing law can be of use here. I know men like me who've also reviewed laws.
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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 05:12 PM
  #38
I'm disappointed that I missed my chance to volunteer at the park. But at least I'd volunteer last month, so I'm probably still a better candidate than newcomers, next month. And there are plenty more chances for me to volunteer.

I live in a crowded city, so trying to volunteer can be like applying for a job, which is ridiculous and stupid. It's been snowing lately though, so there might be chances to shovel snow for others. I want to volunteer because it's a way to give back to my governments, since I don't pay taxes yet.
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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 07:30 PM
  #39
Have you tried Nami, they often have peer support groups and other resources.

Home | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness

Alternately try 7 cups to talk with someone online.

Online Therapy & Free Counseling, Someone To Talk To | 7 Cups

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Default Feb 24, 2019 at 07:33 PM
  #40
I also like the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance: dbsalliance.org.

If you don't have a job, you should qualify for Medicaid. I think it's worth applying.
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