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Old 02-14-2019, 07:08 PM #21
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Default Re: coping with schizophrenia

I have to stop thinking of creating a group. I can join a group, but creating and maintaining a group is a lot of work. I need to think smaller and just try to promote myself as a mental peer, online. I might also promote my volunteer peer service offline by putting up flyers at or near hospitals and clinics.


I feel that my national government cares a bit more about single men's mental health than state or local governments; even because I think the national government funds Supplemental Security Income and other mental health programs that seem to support individuals regardless of their background. Or maybe it's because the national government has the resources to assist mental health individuals, where my densely populated city has a shortage of them.
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Old 02-15-2019, 11:47 AM #22
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well I'm going to shower. I don't dedicate much resources to hygiene. And showering is more vigorous and consuming because mom expects me to clean the bath tub every time I shower.


I can probably take a shower at a gym instead, but that's a waste of money. I give her some 400$ to live here, so I should be able to use the resources.


I can probably have quicker showers to make sure I'm not wasting my time. I'm going to aim for 25 minutes of showering and 5 minutes of cleaning.


I honestly don't see how showering or bathing is important for my health much, but it does affect my social health a bit; as I worry less about my body odor when around people at shops and libraries. my library has a written rule where a person can't be in a library if his body odor repels others; and I honestly feel it's a ridiculous rule, but just an example of how some local communities and societies could be discriminating against people and the homeless.


outside of social health, I guess showering helps keep insects and animals away from me. I don't feel secure walking pass a dog, and feel less secure when I walk pass a dog with my poor body odor. Even during the summer and warm weather, flies would harass me if I wasn't taking frequent showers. I have a fear of flies, linked to my childhood. Even mosquitoes are attracted to body odor, and so I can avoid mosquito bites and their diseases simply by showering.


I also feel more confident exercising, after showering. I guess that's because I don't have to worry about sweat worsening my poor body odor or the scent of my clothes. I don't even feel comfortable wearing clean clothes when I don't shower, because I'd feel that the clean clothes would get dirty too quickly.


Now I guess showering is important for me.
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Old 02-15-2019, 12:59 PM #23
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i took a 30-minute shower, which was longer than my 25-minute goal. I think my shower was longer because I have a very worn-out rag. I'm going to use a new rag to take a faster shower, next time.


I was thinking of making showers more entertaining by playing music or media, but first I want to make sure I'm taking quick showers. Quicker showers means more time for me to focus on my other important routines.
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Old 02-15-2019, 01:08 PM #24
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I might join the army, later on in my life. a lot of people, who were like me, joined the army. one of the reasons I don't want to join is because of my religion. I have this idea that the army is a place where I get paid to kill. I have this other idea that I'd die really quick in the army. there are a lot of reasons why I can't see myself in the army; but then again, I don't know much about the army, so eh.
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Old 02-15-2019, 05:37 PM #25
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I didn't read any love poems on valentines day. I have to take a break from poetry to care for myself. my health comes first and I don't want homicidal thoughts again.



I could promote my peer service by contacting local mental health organizations and businesses offline and gaining permission to promote my services within their facilities. Or I can walk pass their facilities and hand out small cards to passerbys. The latter seems more practical. I just have to remember that I'm aiming to find a peer, nothing more or less.


I focus on mental health peers because backgrounds are some of the most simple bridges between people. we are connected through who we are.
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Old 02-16-2019, 08:30 AM #26
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cleaning the bath tub took 9 minutes rather than 5, yesterday. I should try getting my own bar soap.
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Old 02-16-2019, 07:28 PM #27
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I was trying to find an online forum of my local community. I ended up discovering a website with a lot of community information! I know so much more about my community now. the information can help me with promotion of my peer service and stuff, i feel.
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Old 02-17-2019, 09:48 PM #28
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Carelessly trying to find a peer in my local neighborhood, with flyers, might result in finding bullies rather than peers. My mom is enough of a bully, and I don't need any more. Some people discriminate against the mentally ill. Rather, I can focus on finding ways to specifically target my potential peer. Like instead of leaving flyers throughout my neighborhood on a monthly basis, I can meet with people to give them cards or flyers directly.
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Old 02-18-2019, 12:29 AM #29
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I was watching some gameplay of Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep, and at some point, some dude asks a female main character out on a date. I wonder why I haven't asked any lady out on a date myself. I've not been on a date before.



then again, some women discriminate against me because of my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height. I've been on dating websites where no women responds to my messages. Being ignored or discriminated against can have a grave effect on my social health and can give me social anxiety, especially if I don't have any social friends and positive social experiences to counter that negative social experience.


There's a thing to be proud of, with respect to not going on a date or even not asking women out on dates: I treat women like I treat men. Better yet, I treat women without regard for their gender. I think that's something to be proud about. A lot of men can say that they don't mistreat women, but my history of not dating or sexing women proves that I truly haven't treated women any differently than I've treated men.
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Old 02-18-2019, 11:57 AM #30
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sometimes I feel like I'd be more attractive if I was more muscular. Unfortunately that wouldn't necessarily be true; as some women and communities discriminate against me because of my mental illness, gender, sexuality, religion, hair, skin color, race, age, economy, and height.


Like if I gained a lot of muscle, would women then want me? Well I haven't wanted any woman in a long time, regardless of how beautiful some women are. So even if I did gain a lot of muscle, that doesn't mean that women would want me.


gaining a lot of muscle is a huge time investment. If I want to gain a lot of muscle, it would have to be for a good reason with a sure solution. I'd rather enjoy my time on earth rather than waste it on pursuing fruitless and vain endeavors.
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