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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 12:18 AM
  #81
I was going to focus on being a security guard, but I found out that security guards can be disqualified for having a mental disability.

Again, I want to focus on transportation work. In transportation work, I don't need to worry about being disqualified for a mental illness. I want to run a business where I'm delivering groceries to physically disabled people and the elderly, but starting a business isn't easy. So instead, I'm probably just going to apply for whatever entry-level jobs are available, regardless of industry or trade.


I can probably get some employment network to help pay for my transportation to and fro interviews.
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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 12:58 AM
  #82
I haven't been commenting on women's photos on Instagram. I'm proud of that, as it shows I've gained more self-control. Then again, I haven't been writing much romance. Next week, I'll be writing more romance and so might try to communicate on Instagram. But I've got blocked a lot on Instagram, so I need to seriously consider that. Getting randomly blocked by multiple people on Instagram is damaging to my social health. And there are healthier ways for me to express myself, outside of Instagram.
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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 07:27 PM
  #83
as I read more about the local law, I've been feeling a bit more and more insecure about employment. The local law has wuite a bit of expectations for employers and businesses, which might be passed onto employees. There are 3 levels of law where I live: city, state, and federal. they seem to each have their own share of expectations on employers and businesses.

those laws are so extensive that I can understand why some people make money online. It's nearly impossible or illegal to make money through local self-employment. and local employers might have unreal expectations for employees because of pressure from city, state, and federal business laws.
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Default Apr 26, 2019 at 08:08 PM
  #84
this 24-hour fast is nearly done. Just 3 more hours. I have an emergency meal prepared for midnight. Until then, I drink water.
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Default Apr 27, 2019 at 07:57 PM
  #85
yesterday I fasted. I couldn't go to sleep until about 7am today. I remember having sleep issues during other fasts too. I think fasting affects my sleep and sleep hygiene, maybe because I have difficulty sleeping on an empty stomach.

I also feel really hungry today. maybe this is because of the calorie shortage that I predicted before.

All of these events can be a consequence of the fact that I honestly went 24 hours without food. this was a true 24-hour fast, unlike previous "fasts" where my mom fortunately shared some food with me.

Well the lack of sleep stressed me out today. So I ended up buying cookies. Pretty much reversed my efforts of saving money from the fast.

It's important that I get sleep on weekends because mom usually plays loud electronics or gives me chores all day. So fasting on Friday won't be wise, if I'm not getting adequate sleep. A lack of food isn't hard to adapt to, but adding a lack of sleep can really hurt my productivity, sleep hygiene, and health. I tend to get more agitated when lacking sleep.

So instead of fasting on Friday, it might be best for me to fast on Tuesday. I tend to have better sleep and sleep opportunities on weekdays.
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Default Apr 28, 2019 at 10:35 PM
  #86
I can't fast on Sundays. Weekends are times of uncertain sleep, even because mom plays loud music or gives chores at unpredictable hours. I can't afford to be both sleep-deficient and food-deprived on weekends. That's too much stress.

Instead of fasting on Tuesdays and Sundays, I will fast on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This is very unfortunate though, because the weekdays are when I'm most productive. When I fast, I sacrifice productivity to ensure that I can endure the lack of food.

But I can adjust my schedule around these new fast days, to not lose any productivity.
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Default Apr 28, 2019 at 10:55 PM
  #87
I think my mom owns land, but I don't think she's paid for it as much as she bought it with a loan or mortgage: she has three jobs.


if she passes away before paying for the land, her creditors might take it. but at that point, i feel I can probably finish paying off the loan or mortgage by renting out rooms. I believe land is very lucrative and valuable, if marketed well. land is also a foundation for shelter, which is one of my needs and animals' needs. I can even grow food on land, satisfying another one of my needs.
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Default Apr 29, 2019 at 09:02 PM
  #88
I had a nightmare that a queen killed me for hiding a criminal. was a nightmare because I thought i could persuade her to not kill me. I like women a lot and won't fight them. also I fear authority, though I shouldn't fear anything of earth.
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Default Apr 30, 2019 at 11:55 AM
  #89
Well I've got no soap. It seems I have to choose between soap and food. meh. Sounds like a good time to get food from the local churches. Even one day of church food can save me enough money to buy soap for a month or two, I think. I wouldn't fast for small things like soap and hygiene.
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Default Apr 30, 2019 at 02:53 PM
  #90
I'm considering not fasting anymore. A long time ago, I considered fasting. But I decided to not do so because I believe my body requires a daily minimum amount of calories. So even if I fast, I would probably end up spending more money or buying more food when not fasting, to compensate for the days of fast.

I also didn't want to fast because my mom requires me to do chores at unpredictable times. She's getting old and more needy. It's not fun to lift things and do strenuous activities with no calories. It's very stressful. And to avoid my mom, sometimes I walk to the library: but when I fast, I'm suppose to be as dormant as possible, to conserve calories and energy. So whether I'm doing chores or dodging chores, I do activity with no calories. Doing activities, with no food, can even lead to my injury.

The only reason I began fasting was because it seemed like a quick way to fix my food budget. And it probably is, without mom. But if I can't fast, how am I to handle my food budget? Well i have 2 plans. I can go to local churches for food or I can re-apply for food benefits. The church idea sounds less practical: they might be hesitant to give me food because I don't have my own family. Some churches expect to be feeding families, and probably not individuals. I can still try though.

The latter plan would be my re-applying for food benefits. When my food stamp was being reviewed, I couldn't prove that I was paying 400$ for rent, because the room rent lease was expired and I would have had to ask mom for a letter. Mom was likely to not give or sign any letter, just like how she didn't help me secure food stamp when I was first applying.

But this time, I can probably present some ultimatum or deal. I will request her to sign papers confirming her rent requirements. If she refuses, I will inform her that my inability to prove rent expenses might lower my other expense-dependent benefits, as those social service providers might assume I'm not paying rent. Then I will pay 300$ instead of 400$ for rent, until she signs the papers. I can use the extra 100$ to feed myself.

I'll try the church idea first though, as there's not much guarantee that the government will feed me.
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Default Apr 30, 2019 at 04:25 PM
  #91
I was looking for some work through Snagajob. I found some result about some Bellhops App. Sounded really promising: it involved transportation work which was in my interest.

Then again, I didn't quite trust it. Online work is very suspect. It's very easy to get scammed online, and some people don't trust doing business online. Some online websites pretend to be referral agencies and then convince people to buy memberships. If I'm going to invest time in securing work from an employer, I might as well secure it from a local employer with a physical address within my city.
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Default May 01, 2019 at 07:05 PM
  #92
I found some promising place for employment. It's a place that sells household goods and stuff. And it's within walking distance.


It's promising because it's related to transportation work a bit. It's a goods store where I'd have to move things around, stock shelves, and unload trucks.

I'm going to read about the company and piece together its demography, history, and needs. I feel one of my strengths is reading information to understand situations. My resume will probably also be another strength, as it's a chance for me to verbally express myself. The interview and social environment will be weaknesses.
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Default May 02, 2019 at 01:55 PM
  #93
I don't like the idea of reading about a company, even because the reading is going to be quite intensive. jobs openings feel transient, so they might not be available when I'm done studying the company. but I think this company's jobs are different.

the company is quite frugal, to the point where its name reflects its frugal nature. the company promises products at a set low price, which made sense when I was a kid. but nowadays, due to inflation, the set price is way too low. some people might think discriminately of the company, selling at such low prices. the company emphasizes that it keeps its stores well-lit and clean, probably to counter discrimination against its economy.

also, since the store sells things at such a cheap price, I can only expect workers to not be paid much. I doubt any father or mother would be able to feed their kid on the company's income. so this type of company might be a perfect fit for a man like me who is independent and only needs to feed himself.

To compensate for their set low prices, I think they allow costumers to buy in bulk. this is also a great advantage for me, as I'm interested in transportation and material moving work. Lifting heavy materials and loading trucks will be my specialty.

the economic nature of the company will probably be near my economic nature: a perfect fit. I doubt anyone would secure the job, or would hold the job for long. It's perfect for my demographic.


the downside would be the economic discrimination I might have to endure, at the workplace, from customers and perhaps even the company itself.
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Default May 02, 2019 at 09:00 PM
  #94
mom's getting old. she's taking like 6 or so pills nearly every weekday. I've heard that seniors take a lot of medications.
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Default May 02, 2019 at 10:02 PM
  #95
I checked the stock of the company. the company seems to peak during the summer and end-year holidays, but seems to dip between May and June.

I reviewed the job description and duties, and there seems to be an emphasis on workers having honesty and integrity when handling money. Maybe this is because the workers aren't paid much, just as I've assumed before. The company sells products at a very scary low price, and thus probably isn't making enough money to pay employees sometimes. Luckily I don't have to feed anyone but myself, so I don't care much for the money.
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Default May 03, 2019 at 01:47 PM
  #96
I've thought of many ways to resolve my food budget. I've even considered fasting, renting out my room, and visiting food charities.

I can't quite fast because my mom has physically demanding expectations for me. She also harasses me and threatens to evict me when I don't do the physically demanding tasks efficiently. My mom is getting old, and thus probably needs a caregiver or the like. When she gets old enough, I might have more authority and freedom; but she's not that old yet. In fact, she's still working.

I can't rent out my room. My mom wouldn't allow that. she's very discriminant with who comes into the house.

I can't get certain jobs because of my mom's discrimination. she threatened to evict me if I worked in the sanitation industry. She also doesn't want me working for the city. but men, especially in my demographic, are greatly employed in sanitation and other maintenance work.

So I feel that many efforts to resolve my food budget have been incomplete due to my mom. Though I will note that I do pay a very low monthly rent because of my mom. and that living with my mom somewhat ensures a lifetime shelter insurance: some people and communities somewhat expect her to be responsible for me, probably even because she gave birth to me. So there is some benefit for living with my mom, but then there are expenses as well.

Then again, I don't really have a choice to not live with mom, as the city is quite populated or underserved to the point where it will likely just convince or even pay my mom to house me.

I doubt I can get food from local food pantries and kitchens. I feel those facilities prioritize women, children, and the elderly. they might not have any food for a single young man like me. Moreover, I feel that my mom has a great influence on my food budget and thus I should appropriately try to resolve my food budget through her resources rather than external resources.

One method is that I can start revolving my diet more around her food. She offers me food sometimes, though it's not nutrient-dense nor daily. Out of a 3.25$ daily food budget, I can allot 1.50$ from her food resources and 1.75$ from my own resources.

I can design some measures to ensure this ratio. For instance, I can spend less money on food whenever mom offers me food. I can probably not spend any money on food for an entire day when mom offers me food on that day. The bad part of this method is that she might not offer me food for many days. And the food that she offers is not healthy, so I'd have to make sure that I buy nutrient-dense foods with my own resources.

Another method would be for me to re-apply for government food benefits. When applying, I can request to receive about one-third of the amount that a normal person receives. this is because I've adapted my diet and food budget to small but healthy resources. But I can't quite execute this method for another 45 days or so. And even then, the government might not have any food resources for me. This plan might also require me to get some paperwork from mom. If she doesn't help me secure the paperwork, I can reasonably pay less rent to compensate.

Regardless of whatever method, I have to make sure I use my calories wisely. I have to reasonably minimize my needs and maximize my resources. I might experiment and see if I can lower my daily calorie amount. I might stop exercising, to conserve calories. I might stop engaging in poetry, to conserve calories. I won't stop planning employment and financial independence though: I will try to get a job, though it's unlikely I'll secure one. I might require myself to sleep more, if it helps to conserve calories: I've heard that poor sleep hygiene is associated with weight gain.
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Default May 03, 2019 at 03:17 PM
  #97
I’ve head of college students visiting food pantries....if your income is low enough they’ll help you out.

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Default May 05, 2019 at 09:55 AM
  #98
until May 13th, 2019; I'm going to temporarily suspend poetics and dedicate 2 more hours towards financial independence. this is because (as of now) I won't have any food resources after the 13th, and if I wait until the 13th to suspend my poetics, then it would be too late to secure food. Time is one of my only valuable resources; so in the event of a temporary emergency concerning resources, time becomes an optional resource to wager.

I'm going to re-apply for government food benefits. Then I'm going to focus on applying for the job at a local company. I would apply for the job first, but I'm not confident in my ability to secure a job in 10 days: even if I was immediately hired, I don't think I'd get a paycheck within 10 days. I will get mom, my landlord, to sign necessary papers for the food benefits. If she refuses, I'll reasonably deduct food expenses from my rent until she signs the papers.
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Default May 11, 2019 at 04:16 PM
  #99
my sister visited and noted that I look skinnier. It's true that I've been more careful with food because I'll run out of my own on the 13th. There's also the fact that I haven't been exercising, so I'm probably losing muscle mass or muscle weight.

But once I apply for and get some official date of food benefits, I'll feel more confident in soliciting churches for food. The government might assign me a job in exchange for food benefits: that's why I'm more confident in getting food benefits rather than soliciting. The governments also seem to emphasize that they don't discriminate: I don't want to starve because local people are discriminant or exercise prejudice against me.
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Default May 12, 2019 at 09:13 AM
  #100
I watched this 18 minute YouTube video yesterday and I thought it was pretty interesting especially listening to the therapist in the second half. I thought I would post it here because of the title of this thread.
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