Roll Call 145

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

It's like that in Saratoga where my brother lives, all nature, mountains etc. Not the city I live in though, it's pretty rough in certain parts. I think almost everytime I leave the house and am downtown I come across some person yelling while walking down the street and cussing randomly or something along those lines

i've lived in places like that. that's what happens when you're broke. I'm pretty sure the homeless person ranting on the street is mentally ill.

Mar 30, 2019 at 06:24 AM

yesterday after dinner I took a walk to the shopp

it was nice in the cool air, and rather quiet too

baught some lucasade

came home and watched young sheldon which was actually quite funny, for once in my life I enjoyed watching it (I don't often enjoy it, his voice annoys me) but the whole saga with the sandwich made me smile

despite it being a quiet night without flashbacks I didn't get rest. back was far too painfull to lie down.

today I am feeling horrible. it's the start of brittish summertime (well it's not, but it's what they say when the clocks go forward)

I hate the longer hours of light, I hate the warmer weather, I hate the ****ing bugs because I'm alergic, from now until november life's basically a ****ing screw up

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 06:48 AM

ah i see.. i love summer... i love to swim and enjoy wearing shirts and tee shirts. i love summer storms. I love it all... only problem is it gets too hot sometimes. i much rather be in warmer weather. sometimes we go on vacation in July/August to Florida. It probably wont happen this year because we ended up getting another dog and since my uncle passed away we have no one to look after the dogs.

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:05 AM

I'm in a bad place right now

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:17 AM

I've done something really bad...

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Thanks man... i feel damaged and weak. i can't help thinking that...

Possible trigger:

I was sexually abused and rape at the age of 2-3 years until i told my grandmother at 7 years old. I was locked in a room for days without food and neglected hygiene. i was threaten with a knife and was told they were going to cut my head off if i misbehaved. I was thrown across a room at 7 and at the age of 12 my uncle grabbed me by my hair and slammed me on the ground. my mom was emotionally abusive. called me a and lazy and threaten to beat my *** if I don't stop banging my head against the floor. she'd hold me down with her feet and leave bruises when grabbing me by the arm forcefully and would also leave bruises on my arm while she punched me on my arm. I also didn't learn how to read until i was 9 years old because i would missed school for untreated lice. I had flunked 2nd grade because i had missed 42 days o school that year.

I cried a little Erti

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through at the hands of those that should have protected you.
If you need a stand-in family member...I’m always available!

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

I've done something really bad...

Oh no Erti.

Are you safe???

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Oh no Erti.

Are you safe???

i'm safe...

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

I cried a little Erti

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through at the hands of those that should have protected you.
If you need a stand-in family member...I’m always available!

I deserve nothing

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

I deserve nothing

Of course you do.
You deserve a hell of a lot better than you’ve gotten.

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Of course you do.
You deserve a hell of a lot better than you’ve gotten.

I still love my family... they suck me dry on money but i love them anyways. I didn't earn that money.

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:39 AM

Damn...slept 10 hours last night.
I don’t know what’s up for today. I think it’s supposed to be like 56 so that’ll be nice.
I have to go grocery shopping at some point. Im down to the basics and frozen meat.
My husband hurt his back the other day. He was pretty miserable with it yesterday. Hoping he’s feeling better today.
Also hoping my sons doing better.

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

I still love my family... they suck me dry on money but i love them anyways. I didn't earn that money.

Yeah. Family’s family.
Sorry about the money. Before I had my own family I basically supported my sisters household so I hear ya.

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Yeah. Family’s family.
Sorry about the money. Before I had my own family I basically supported my sisters household so I hear ya.

my mom is suppose to only take a 100 dollars from me for next month so idk... I may not see it again because she's not able to pay the bills... however she gets extra money for selling methadone to her friends... my mom is better about it than my dad and stepmom

My stepmom and dad use to bum money off of me all the time... i'd buy food and cigarettes for them. so it's something they would ask for all the time... a pack of cigarettes a day and a 12 pack of pepsi a day... put i payed the cable/internet bill and I would give them 40 dollars every so often and they would give it to me and ask for it back so i never saw the money again... they sucked me dry in my bank account and went a few days without food because they didn't want to get food stamps and didn't want to go to the food bank for food... They wouldn't let me talk to my mom and go over there because they thought my mom would be mad and kick my ***. they would spend 300 dollars at the casino of their paycheck and sell their pain pills for extra money.

only one who never ask me for money is my stepdad.

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

my mom is suppose to only take a 100 dollars from me for next month so idk... I may not see it again because she's not able to pay the bills... however she gets extra money for selling methadone to her friends... my mom is better about it than my dad and stepmom

My stepmom and dad use to bum money off of me all the time... i'd buy food and cigarettes for them. so it's something they would ask for all the time... a pack of cigarettes a day and a 12 pack of pepsi a day... put i payed the cable/internet bill and I would give them 40 dollars every so often and they would give it to me and ask for it back so i never saw the money again... they sucked me dry in my bank account and went a few days without food because they didn't want to get food stamps and didn't want to go to the food bank for food... They wouldn't let me talk to my mom and go over there because they thought my mom would be mad and kick my ***. they would spend 300 dollars at the casino of their paycheck and sell their pain pills for extra money.

only one who never ask me for money is my stepdad.

Yikes! Sorry to hear that.
Money is the devil.

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Yikes! Sorry to hear that.
Money is the devil.

yeah it is... i am not into material things... my mom buys me stuff here and there and buys my food but I give her my food stamps card for groceries... i use to get 160 dollars a month now i probably get half that now. I only get around 750 - 780 dollars a month in disability.

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

yeah it is... i am not into material things... my mom buys me stuff here and there and buys my food but I give her my food stamps card for groceries... i use to get 160 dollars a month now i probably get half that now. I only get around 750 - 780 dollars a month in disability.

Wow that seems low.
According to my ssi statement I’d get around 1200 if I was on disability.
Must vary by state like everything else. Sucks.

Erti · Mar 30, 2019 at 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Wow that seems low.
According to my ssi statement I’d get around 1200 if I was on disability.
Must vary by state like everything else. Sucks.

yeah but then again the cost of living is cheaper in ohio than probably where you are.

ofthevalley · Mar 30, 2019 at 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

yeah but then again the cost of living is cheaper in ohio than probably where you are.

Yeah. Probably.

Blue_Bird · Mar 30, 2019 at 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

yeah it is... i am not into material things... my mom buys me stuff here and there and buys my food but I give her my food stamps card for groceries... i use to get 160 dollars a month now i probably get half that now. I only get around 750 - 780 dollars a month in disability.

That's what I get, SSI right? I think SSDI is the one that's usually more

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Roll Call 145

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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Mar 30, 2019 at 07:05 AM #784 I'm in a bad place right now
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Mar 30, 2019 at 07:17 AM #785 I've done something really bad...
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