Roll Call: 146

I got my replacement vitamins!!!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I'm posting in the addictions forum for now cuz I'm dealing with addiction..

I don't know why though. I'm just upset about my future and situation and mental illness. I want to be on the right meds but less antipsychotic.

I want to be myself without people judging me because of labels and people saying "He's like this because of (Label)". I just want people to treat my symptoms as they are and not categorize them into labels.

The hospital isn't such a bad thing. It's just a small set back to get better. It isn't the worst thing in the world if I ended back up in the hospital. However I would refuse too much antipsychotics and probably be kept there until I agree to take them. The last thing I want is to have to take the injection by law where the police will find me and bring me to the hospital if I miss an injection. I've been compliant with it for like 5 years.

I'm also super stressed out because I don't feel like studying most of the time right now because I'm stressed about reality and my existence and what to do and what not to do, whether I should go off the rails or be too comfortable being "stable" and getting nothing accomplished. I want to take control of my life and be myself. I don't know how bad my delusions and paranoia can get when completely off the injection but I'm sure that it will be fine based on how I am now as if the injection is just a placebo. That's a fixed state of perception I have.

Waiting for my daughter to get back from the festival. My pizza and breadsticks are in the back seat. If I wasn’t sandwiched in between 2 other parents cats I’d be diving in to that food lmao.

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

I feel happy, I have a lot more energy. I mean I'm sick right now (some kind of cold/coughing) but other than that I feel a lot better than I have in a long time. I don't feel weak, I've been eating good everyday. I'm happy being myself

Ugh...just watched the disappointments room. Do not recommend. Wasn’t scary or even half way good. Woman had a breakdown was having delusions and all that. Hits too close to home for me. It’s like I can literally feel what they’re going through. I know that sounds crazy but it is what it is.
The mean girls treated my daughter like **** at the band festival. They are SO lucky she’s a better person than I am. I’d punch the *****es right in the faces.

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

I thought i was dying earlier but i just had gas and an anxiety attack.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I had a good day. I was nervous because I was driving and I haven’t driven in a while. More determined to finally get my full drivers licence. It’s been so long. I just get nervous. Little less nervous now that I drove for a few hours.

My mother and I put together our new bbq. Excited to get to bbqing. I’m going out driving again tomorrow and we’ll probably stop and get some steaks from the store.

Good to not be stuck in my head all day. I think too much when I’m stuck in my head. I let things get to me and then I think about not taking my meds or something.

Woke up early today, morning all

Good morning

my therapist took mine

well I don't see it as being forced to be medicated your whole life. at least in the USA no one is forced unless the rare circumstance of having a guardianship and being involuntarily committed which even then is hard to accomplish

for me taking medications alleviate my symptoms that I find distressing and impede my ability to function in the ways that I want

Morning! Happy Sunday!
Bringing my daughter and her friends to the mall today. I’m going to go shopping for ME! Woohoo! Not sure what I’m looking for but I’m sure I’ll find something.

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

went back to sleep and woke up at 730.

I just feel off this morning and I couldn't tell you why

Might go to church today, feeling like it for some reason.

Finished my pokemon sketch

Very nice bluebird

Decided not to go to church, not sure why, I'm just very anxious

Took a shower, went on several walks, took xanax, and the anxiety is starting to go away at least.

I think the reason I've been sleeping so much is the haldol, it started right when I first got prescribed it. Funnily enough it doesn't make me hungry, just so tired that I could sleep all day.

Took a nap