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Member Since May 2017
Location: 90°S
Posts: 45
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#1
I have a number of psychiatric issues, but there is one particular area that has been nagging me since my first decompensation in 2008.
I saw things while in psychosis. I also had a voice or two and one of them, Torquemada, is still with me. So-named because Torquemada was the leader of the Spanish Inquisition and was famous for his methods of torture. This voice is extremely mean to me and maintains an almost constant dialog in my head. Sometimes a second voice will tell me to ignore Torquemada, but says nothing beyond that. That being said, the most striking things I experienced were/are, of course, Torquemada, and seeing three-dimensional hallucinations from time to time. I saw an ancient French village on my bedroom floor. It looked exactly like a hologram. While driving, I saw a blue beam of light coming from the right headlight on some of the cars around me. During my first serious hospitalization, I passed the room of a fellow traveller and heat was blasting from it. Inhuman heat. This scared me because Torquemada constantly reiterates that I'm going to hell. Quite often, other people seem to be possessed and speaking directly to me even though I don't know them. I see messages in everything, especially numbers, and I spend a lot of time researching the etymology of many languages. I also, from time to time, smell burning and wild roses. There is an entire litany of experiences I've had with seeing and hearing and feeling things. I would very much like to hear what other members have seen, heard, and felt during their experiences of psychosis, only if you wish to share. I will be very respectful of you no matter what you've been through. I am a fellow traveller who's been trying to understand, for 12 years, what happened to me. Be well. Kraut Bipolar 1 w/Psychotic Features + __________________ "History . . . is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." - James Joyce "Shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods . . . " - Einstein "The victor will never be asked if he told the truth." |
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HALLIEBETH87, SlumberKitty
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Member Since Aug 2009
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#2
Hi Kraut,
I watched this YouTube video yesterday and thought that it was pretty interesting and it might help you some to understand what may be going on with you. YouTube |
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Kraut
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
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#3
My experience with psychosis (my diagnosis is depression with psychotic features and GAD) is that I see things that aren't there, mainly people, shadows, children, animals, sometime the things are benign, sometimes they are frightening. I hear voices occasionally. I heard on telling me that today my life would be brought to account. That was said three times. Scared the crap out of me. HUGS Kit
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Kraut
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Member
Member Since May 2017
Location: 90°S
Posts: 45
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#4
Quote:
Kraut __________________ "History . . . is a nightmare from which I am trying to awake." - James Joyce "Shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods . . . " - Einstein "The victor will never be asked if he told the truth." |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 457
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#5
I dont see or hear anything constantly, thank goodness.
My visual hallucinations tend to be the most elaborate. Cats, bats, rats, snakes, people, bugs, then some more odd stuff like cartoon characters (only once or twice), monsters, symbols. Ive noticed that themes tend to come and go. I was seeing mostly small animals for a whilr... and then I was seeing monsters for a while... and then religious themes and symbols/demons/god... now its mostly like optical illusion stuff. Ill see a spot on the wall move in a circle or the carpet will seem like its moving- like its a carpet sea with waves. Thats all the visual stuff. The voices have taken on religious themes lately. One or two word phrases repeated. Heaven and hell/god and demons. Though theyve gotten much much rarer. Those one or two word phrases are only happening like once a week where for a while it was like... more than half of the days. “Again” is a common word repeated and one that drives me INSANE. Then dark threatening words which I have a hard time recalling when I think on them later bexause of the latent anxiety they cause. And then my name. Bells. Laughter. Angry voices. I do also wonder if I get olfactory hallhcinations because sometimes ill smell things that arent around either. But Im not sure on that |
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Kraut
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