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Old 05-15-2019, 09:14 PM #1
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Default Help with psychosis

I have had this really scary psychosis for several years now. It never truly went away despite the medication, and I need to talk to someone who could understand. I have spoken to three therapists and a priest, but so far no one has been able to help. Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and does anyone have any advice for me please?
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Old 05-15-2019, 10:04 PM #2
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

I am sorry that you are struggling with this and have difficulty finding a therapist that can understand.
I have no experience with psychosis but it sounds like it comes and goes with you? Maybe keep a daily journal of weather, basic emotions, foods... anything that could be a trigger for a psychotic episode?
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Old 05-15-2019, 10:23 PM #3
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

I have a psychotic component to my bipolar mania, my PTSD, and my DID. I also grew up surrounded by people who had schizophrenia. I know more about psychosis than I wish I did. The only true answer is find a psychiatrist who can do a really good diagnostic workup. Therapists are not trained to deal with psychotic symptoms. Talk therapy is largely useless when dealing with psychosis. It's a medical problem that needs the expertise of an MD trained to treat and identify subtleties in the many different kinds of psychoses. Do you have a teaching hospital in your area? They are good references for psychiatrists, especially if they train psychiatric residents. Also, talk to your family doctor, he or she will have someone they can refer you to. Sometimes clergy know and work with psychiatrists on behalf of congregants. You've talked to a priest, did you ask him for the name of a psychiatrist he trusts? My best advice from a lifetime of experience is that you need an MD.
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Old 05-16-2019, 11:48 AM #4
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

I agree that you need a good doc who can be aggressive in treating psychosis since you've had it for so long. I just got out of the hospital for a psychotic episode. If you ever get to the point you can't take care of yourself, are unsafe, or feel you may be a threat to others you should go to the ER and explain. It sucks but it's the quickest way to find the right meds. Have you tried Clozapine? That's a good one for "treatment resistant schizophrenia" or any form of psychosis that doesn't go away. Hope you feel better soon
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Old 05-16-2019, 12:48 PM #5
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

Thanks for all these comments. I am on Clozapine, having previously tried lots of other antipsychotics that were less effective and had worse side effects. The thing is, though, I don't believe the medication actually does anything except sedate you, so that you don't really remember the psychosis most of the time. But that's not a cure. The psychosis is still there in the background, waiting for when you come off your meds again. I can't help thinking that if only I could really understand the psychosis, meds wouldn't be necessary any more. After all, it must have happened for a reason, right?
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Old 05-16-2019, 06:20 PM #6
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

I had this conversation several times with different therapists and pdocs. My first helpful therapist helped me not be as scared of my thoughts and realize they're just that, thoughts. My second therapist helped me get better at fact checking. Current T doesn't think my paranoia has anything to do with my emotional issues. My treatment team is dedicated to keeping me on medication.
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Old 05-16-2019, 07:10 PM #7
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
I had this conversation several times with different therapists and pdocs. My first helpful therapist helped me not be as scared of my thoughts and realize they're just that, thoughts. My second therapist helped me get better at fact checking. Current T doesn't think my paranoia has anything to do with my emotional issues. My treatment team is dedicated to keeping me on medication.
That's really interesting, thank you. Could I ask what kind of therapists have you seen?
It's such a lonely experience. I don't know if you can relate to this, but a lot of the time it's felt like my psychosis is the only one that's real, and everyone else with psychosis is just mentally ill
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Old 05-16-2019, 07:25 PM #8
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom View Post
I had this conversation several times with different therapists and pdocs. My first helpful therapist helped me not be as scared of my thoughts and realize they're just that, thoughts. My second therapist helped me get better at fact checking. Current T doesn't think my paranoia has anything to do with my emotional issues. My treatment team is dedicated to keeping me on medication.
P.S. Could I ask if you agree with your current therapist that they're not connected?
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Old 05-16-2019, 11:01 PM #9
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nenufar View Post
That's really interesting, thank you. Could I ask what kind of therapists have you seen?
It's such a lonely experience. I don't know if you can relate to this, but a lot of the time it's felt like my psychosis is the only one that's real, and everyone else with psychosis is just mentally ill
My first helpful therapist use to be a crisis therapist. I have a problem talking so I did mood/thought/event charts and hand wrote letters/projects things like that. She wanted me on an anti psychotic but I refused and she'd knew I'd ghost her if she hospitalized me. So I worked very hard on being painfully honest with her and learning to trust her and my pdoc. We spent a lot of time talking about me and the mental health system. Her goal was always to get me to come back next session. I was to show up whether I wanted to or not. If I didn't want to say anything that was fine. If I *****ed about not wanting help that was fine. I just had to be there. Writing everything out helped a lot. I didn't have to watch the WTF are you talking about look. We dealt with things as they came up. Be it homicidal/suicidal thoughts to I'm my husband's imaginary friend. She was the only one I could talk to. She made it so I am open (mostly) to my treatment team. She made me comfortable with them. She had faith that I wouldn't act and always told me if I was hospitalized she'd be advocating for me.

My second T was CBT. I would walk in and blurt out what I was thinking/ what I did that week. That was the only way I could get through it. We'd try to talk it out and make ways I could prove whether I was right or not. ie. Randomly setting alarms to check if my husband was cheating on me while I slept. Things like that. I was hospitalized twice (not by him) under his care each time he had to do an "evaluation of care" where several T / pdoc looked over my file and give suggestions. He always told me about their suggestions and that he was proud of me for voluntarily going.

3-6 T sucked

current T. I just started seeing again last week and she moves after next session. I liked her, she was a *****. Didn't let me get away with anything. She be very straight forward with her words. a conversation would be like this:

I'd say X was happening.
She'd say "So you're telling me your hallucinating?"
"I don't like that word."
"but that is what you're saying?"
me stares at the floor mute.

Currently she is working on me realizing I need medication and sticking to it.

In a month I meet my next T.

Quote:
Could I ask if you agree with your current therapist that they're not connected?
Currently "I'm paranoid" and re-starting medication. (It was that or hospital. I'm not sleeping and my husband doesn't trust me up alone.) I'm unsure if my husband is just ****ing with me, making me look crazy and I'm actually sane and he's an abusive asshole or if he really does hate me/wants me dead or if it's just me. I'm under an agreement if I make myself sick I don't get a choice to go to the hospital, all meds and sharp objects are up.

I don't know if they're connected. I did not grow up in an ideal family but my first voice I had was when I was 8. Even on meds I still have issues. I should be seeing someone 1x a week. My current pdoc is a less is more and really believes in therapy. I'm very quiet in therapy. There is no T that will work with me off medication. They will discuss it with me though. I didn't use to have issues towards him they tell me it just happens.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:56 AM #10
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Default Re: Help with psychosis

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nenufar View Post
I have had this really scary psychosis for several years now. It never truly went away despite the medication, and I need to talk to someone who could understand. I have spoken to three therapists and a priest, but so far no one has been able to help. Has anyone else experienced anything like this, and does anyone have any advice for me please?
Yes I have an advice. I have had psychosis ever since I was 15.



All I can say, is that you need to have faith in future. That you'll get better. Try going to another psychiatrist who is more competent than your last one. Therapy sometimes helps but sometimes it does not. A psychiatrist will able to better guide.


At least, I am speaking not from logic but experience. I never visited a therapist. My psychiatrist is my only 'therapist' (he gives the only basic therapy) and his treatment plan helped me to pull through psychosis.


Stay positive. It will help.
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