Roll Call 148

Desoxyn · May 20, 2019 at 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

not sure why, just to feel happy I guess.

Possible trigger:

I usually trip on DXM (cough syrup)

I think DXM is what triggered my schizophrenia at 17/18. I had psychosis at 16 but I think once I "Discovered the meaning of life" as I called it, that was the point of no return.

falcon09 · May 20, 2019 at 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I think DXM is what triggered my schizophrenia at 17/18. I had psychosis at 16 but I think once I "Discovered the meaning of life" as I called it, that was the point of no return.

Probably good for me to stay away from it then...especially since ive been kinda symptomatic lately. Although I've been too scared to talk about it here

Desoxyn · May 20, 2019 at 05:37 PM

These are the list of things that I have to do;

Get gym membership on Monday
Go to coffee connections on Monday
Learn CBT notes
Book appointment with dr. on 28th of May
Apply for jobs in person
Go to the contact lenses shop on Monday
Look up the courses you want to do in september
Book hair cut appointment
Buy shaving cream, toothpaste and deodorant
Get drivers license
Cut weeds for mom in yard

I managed to do nothing today because I'm still depressed. I woke up at 2pm and walked down town to get ice cream, realized that it's a long weekend holiday so everything is closed.

I drank an energy drink with my vyvanse. The more I take kratom, the less I take benzos. They feel like the same thing except kratom puts me to sleep.

Kratom addiction is better than benzo addiction at least. I'm glad I flushed my illegal drugs because I don't need them.

Still waiting for my psychiatrist appointment to see what she can do about my depression.. I still feel in mental pain. I'm thinking of asking my mom about what holiday we should have. I want to go to Hawaii..

newtus · May 20, 2019 at 05:38 PM

Im sobering up

I fell asleep for 2 hours

newtus · May 20, 2019 at 05:44 PM

My mom called me for like an hour and I didnt listen to a damn thing she said cuz I was trying to watch my fav TV show. Like I cant hear 2 things at once.

May 20, 2019 at 06:03 PM

I took one big toke at work and I've been chasing the dragon. Man, that was crazy.

newtus · May 20, 2019 at 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I took one big toke at work and I've been chasing the dragon. Man, that was crazy.

You hit a doobie at work bro?

Blue_Bird · May 20, 2019 at 06:10 PM

Sketching some Pokémon tonight

Blue_Bird · May 20, 2019 at 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

Probably good for me to stay away from it then...especially since ive been kinda symptomatic lately. Although I've been too scared to talk about it here

I used to do that a long time ago then one time had a horrible experience where I took a massive amount and blacked out, then it was a nightmare after that, haven't gotten high on anything since then.

Desoxyn · May 20, 2019 at 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I took one big toke at work and I've been chasing the dragon. Man, that was crazy.

It will help you sleep

Desoxyn · May 20, 2019 at 06:15 PM

People remember on your psychosis cough syrup adventures to never drink it on an SSRI. I did it and should have died of serotonin syndrome..

May 20, 2019 at 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

You hit a doobie at work bro?

Yeah, I was tripping. Man, that was crazy. CRAZY!

newtus · May 20, 2019 at 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

Yeah, I was tripping. Man, that was crazy. CRAZY!

Damn hope your ok dude

newtus · May 20, 2019 at 06:30 PM

I think what happen was I started drinking a lot when I got depressed with Dustin and I fighting so much. And now I cant stop drinking so much.

Blue_Bird · May 20, 2019 at 06:55 PM

I have to admit to myself that I'm heading toward tendencies of my ED again, not eating enough, overactive. At least I recognize it now and can do something about it. Last time I ended up in the hospital

falcon09 · May 20, 2019 at 07:02 PM

Earlier today I started believing that all my thoughts were being broadcasted over the radio, that's gotta be delusional right

newtus · May 20, 2019 at 07:41 PM

I'm starting to hear stuff and get anxiety that I'm being watched.

Ima lay off the alcohol for tomorrow.

Desoxyn · May 20, 2019 at 07:57 PM

Took a 5mg THC gummy. No anxiety this time. My heart is beating 75bpm too. Weird..

I'm gonna read over my CBT papers in a minute. I'll cure myself, behavioural cognitively with connections to the universe as one..

newtus · May 20, 2019 at 08:42 PM

Idk why people really arent looking at my blog anymore.

Erti · May 20, 2019 at 09:09 PM

someone is going to torture and kill me

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Roll Call 148

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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 05:38 PM #124 Im sobering up I fell asleep for 2 hours __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 05:44 PM #125 My mom called me for like an hour and I didnt listen to a damn thing she said cuz I was trying to watch my fav TV show. Like I cant hear 2 things at once. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Anonymous40796 Guest Posts: n/a	May 20, 2019 at 06:03 PM #126 I took one big toke at work and I've been chasing the dragon. Man, that was crazy.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 06:15 PM #131 People remember on your psychosis cough syrup adventures to never drink it on an SSRI. I did it and should have died of serotonin syndrome..
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 06:30 PM #134 I think what happen was I started drinking a lot when I got depressed with Dustin and I fighting so much. And now I cant stop drinking so much. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,017 9 1,863 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 07:02 PM #136 Earlier today I started believing that all my thoughts were being broadcasted over the radio, that's gotta be delusional right
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 07:41 PM #137 I'm starting to hear stuff and get anxiety that I'm being watched. Ima lay off the alcohol for tomorrow. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 07:57 PM #138 Took a 5mg THC gummy. No anxiety this time. My heart is beating 75bpm too. Weird.. I'm gonna read over my CBT papers in a minute. I'll cure myself, behavioural cognitively with connections to the universe as one..
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 08:42 PM #139 Idk why people really arent looking at my blog anymore. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	May 20, 2019 at 09:09 PM #140 someone is going to torture and kill me
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