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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 11,326
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#101
I’m sorry @falcon. I completely understand.
It completely sucks that it’s so damn hard to just be happy. __________________ Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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falcon09
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falcon09
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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#102
I just went to the liquor store and there was a man waiting for me to get out of my car I think. He waited for a long time and I acted like I was on the phone. I'm home now. That's why I kinda like apartments, you can disappear into your apartment and they wont know which door you went in.
There's 4 apartments in each little square. I know all my neighbors except one who never comes out. The person above me is a couple and I have their Facebook. The other two apts are older women. Thank God. Just in case I need to goto them for emergency. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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SlumberKitty
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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#103
I feel like someone is watching me
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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falcon09, SlumberKitty
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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13 867 hugs
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#104
I guess I'll be eating corndogs all day. It's all we have.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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SlumberKitty
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Princess Tutu
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,912
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#105
I feel like doing some hood rat ****.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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#106
Quote:
I think you were happy yesterday but it was mixed with sort of confusion about how your body felt which caused anxiety etc. __________________ Hugs! |
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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13 867 hugs
given |
#107
Quote:
Idk I'm just tired of THINGS making me happy. Materials. Then it goes away. I tried to play my guitar and I sucked. And it made everything happy go away from me. You know? I didnt feel happy anymore. But also I had anxiety this morning. I know it was because my body, but I've been extremely depressed lately and anxious. Part of it is the relationship even tho things are ok now, but now its cuz the job thing. Like idk what I got myself into with this job thing. Idk what to do. I just want to hide and drink but that's me staying in my comfort zone. I goto the liquor store every day or 2 days. In hate it. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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#108
Quote:
Honestly if I were you I’d commit to therapy once a week but they can only help if you explain this kind of thing. __________________ Hugs! |
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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13 867 hugs
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#109
I've tried calling my job counselor 3 times today and left a message. He never called me back. He's the one that can get me therapy for free. Otherwise there's no way I can pay for therapy on my own.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since May 2013
Location: Chicago
Posts: 26,409
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10 22.8k hugs
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#110
Quote:
Don’t you have Medicare or something? I mean that should pay...I’m not sure if you have s copay or not. __________________ Hugs! |
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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13 867 hugs
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#111
Yes I do but there's extremely few people here or even in my last town that take Medicare. There may actually be no therapists here that take Medicare but I'll look. This is a small town of 40k. There's barely any doctors here. Everyone goes to the same 4-5 providers or so.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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SlumberKitty
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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5 117.7k hugs
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#112
Hey all, I was feeling really anxious today. I SH-ed yesterday and today which means I totally didn't make it until Pentecost. I just couldn't keep going any longer. What a mess I am. I'm not even done. Took some xanax today which finally mellowed me out. I feel like taking a nap now which I can't because I'm at work and then tonight I have PDOC appointment. I feel pretty dang dissociated now but that's probably the xanax too. I'm getting more xanax at the pharmacy tonight so I'm not going to run out.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Blue_Bird, Desoxyn, falcon09, ofthevalley
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#113
I saw my T on Saturday. She said if I get to feeling like I'm going to SUI that I need to talk to her first. To call the receptionist or the after hours people. The receptionist will be all like, she's booked for three and a half weeks but to give them my name and number and she'd fit me in on her lunch break or after hours. So that's nice there's something besides the ER. Because the ER hasn't been too helpful in the past.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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5 117.7k hugs
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#114
I didn't talk about the hallucinations with T on Saturday because they haven't been bothering me too much. I see Pdoc tonight so I don't know if I should bring them up or not. Probably won't. Just want to get my scripts, go to the pharmacy, get some more gauze and bandage-stuff and go home and go to bed. That sounds like a plan.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Blue_Bird
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 5,565
8 |
#115
I see my doctor on Thursday. I think I’ve been doing well. I’m trying to drink less. Haven’t really gone to the gym much but next week hopefully I get to it more.
Not much else to report. |
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SlumberKitty
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Angelique67, Desoxyn, Sometimes psychotic
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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#116
Been taking my meds but the AP I am almost out of and the pharmacy app says something like in progress. I hope that means they are filling it because I don't want to run out. I do have samples from the doctor that I could take but I would rather not have to rely on those.
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Blue_Bird
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jul 2018
Location: CA
Posts: 27,329
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5 117.7k hugs
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#117
Feeling pretty dissociated and out of it, probably from the xanax. I'm just gonna chill on my lunch break. I hope everyone is doing okay. HUGS Kit
__________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
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Blue_Bird
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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#118
I'm drunk as hell
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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falcon09
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2013
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 36,722
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#119
Did some yoga then took a shower, feel good
__________________ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Angelique67, falcon09
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 11,326
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#120
Feel better after seeing my bestest ❤️
I wish it were earlier. I could use a little siesta. |
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Angelique67, Blue_Bird
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