Roll Call 149

newtus · Jun 17, 2019 at 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

What kind of contest?

Like a promotion

Jun 17, 2019 at 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I don't even know what I believe. I'm too young. I'm trying to get my life together but my therapist isn't even helping me. I'm too focused on the future and feel like what's the point of even trying when I can't get information of help myself because of negative symptoms? I need someone to guide me. Someone that knows what to do. But the last time that happened was when an old man was helping me with my life and then wanted sex with me.

I try.. I try... It's not like I'm giving up. I just don't know what to do and my dad is like "Everyone your age feels that way". So idk...

We understand and are here for you friend.

I didn't have direction in life until I was 26, and becoming a professor now, hahaha that's never going to happen. Plus phl jobs are nearly impossible to get. Market is overflooded to hell.

If there's a book you want to read you have to ask yourself under what conditions you will read it in. I need a couple beers and I need to be out of my comfort zone of my place to live, so I go out to Panera bread (its like a coffee shop with pasteries and ****** food (some vegetarian options) or I go to a bar and sit in a corner without the internet to distract me.

Or you could play a game. I found games and movie theaters help alleviate my anhedonia a bit. I recommend watching John Wick 1 and 2 and then go see John WIck 3 in theater. It was amazing!!!

newtus · Jun 17, 2019 at 08:30 PM

I'm defo here for u tweaks.

Like desoxyn said, personally I wasn't aware of where I was going til I hit recovery at 25 yrs old. And definitely didnt know until maybe a year or two ago. I'm 28 now. I have a major upper hand in self awareness now to a great extent but not 100 percent. I still rely on the people that love me to a degree.

Jun 17, 2019 at 08:34 PM

So something positive to say, since ive been tapering down on my Seroquel I've noticed my interests have gotten better.

Blue_Bird · Jun 17, 2019 at 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

So something positive to say, since ive been tapering down on my Seroquel I've noticed my interests have gotten better.

That's great! How are things with the trileptal so far?

Jun 17, 2019 at 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

That's great! How are things with the trileptal so far?

That's a good question. I think by sunday I'll have two weeks under my belt and can tell you then. I have been sleeping easier though, and that's with less Seroquel, so that's a good sign. I have no side effects of Trileptal yet. I'm surprised my doctors never thought of putting me on it, also surprised I never heard of it all of these years until like 8 months ago. Maybe it wasn't generic yet.

Desoxyn · Jun 17, 2019 at 08:50 PM

Thanks for the positive vibes all.

I'm trying so hard to be happy but I failed today lol. Seems like I was in some mixed state for a bit. How would you tell the difference between mixed state and just being grumpy? It lasts longer in bipolar? idk..

I had an iced coffee and it had a lot of sugar in it so I should probably eat cuz the benefits of having a bit of sugar are gone cuz it resets the fasting so I'd just lose weight.

Water fasting isn't really for losing weight though cuz you gain it back when you're finished. It's mostly about rebuilding immune system, getting rid of pre-cancer cells, burning a slight amount of fat more efficiently (Because if you just eat less, you're not in ketosis so you lose way more weight), helping the brain and cognition etc..

Desoxyn · Jun 17, 2019 at 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I hear you. I get depressed if im home and without anyone to talk with. I want to change it up so im going to try and play skyrim special edition from STEAM and do that for a couple months until I beat it. I recommend it! Oblivion was the game that came before Skyrim and I looooooved it. Do you have a game console or a PC? I think I remember a picture of your room with a pretty snazzy PC. If your looking for games for guys who love story driven games I have a ton of recommendations.

I have an xbox and ps4. That was the TV you're thinking of i think.

I found a good way to explain negative symptoms: Thought to action. I think a lot but I don't say much until recently now that the negative symptoms are better. Like, with schizophrenia.. there's thoughts.. but it takes effort to talk.. there's thoughts.. but it takes effort to put those thoughts into action.. doing things! There's thoughts of being social.. but you can't put effort into socializing because you don't want to.. it was like a black void that is in the way between me and people.. a dark depression.. No pleasure from doing things so why do things?

But it's much better over the years. I'll eventually get into playing games but I'm so bad at time management and there's all these things that I need to do.. Like to become a millionaire... then I can do what I want..

Desoxyn · Jun 17, 2019 at 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I recommend being a vegetarian. I some times slip up and eat meat, I have to think about where im going so not to fall in the trap of being somewhere without vegetarian options.

If you want to get really healthy you have to do an all plant based diet. But your a slim dude, but ethically vegan is the best route, I can't do it though. I like cheese and eggs too much, plus my whey protein powder that is dairy. If I go two days without a protein shake I start showing signs of akathasia for some reason im unaware of.

That's interesting. Protein rebuilds cells so if there's nothing to repair muscle, the muscles don't work properly while antipsychotics lower dopamine, making the muscles not know what to do because there's less connections like in parkinsons where they have really really low dopamine. I wonder if L-dopa works for akathisia cuz cogentin must increase dopamine in some way.

I know nothing about nutrition at this point. I've been teaching myself lately but I wanted to do a water fast to kick start the process like "This is the first thing I will do, then I'll research everything about nutrition afterwards, clean toxins and then eat healthy". Also I'm gonna quit smoking again.

Desoxyn · Jun 17, 2019 at 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

We understand and are here for you friend.

I didn't have direction in life until I was 26, and becoming a professor now, hahaha that's never going to happen. Plus phl jobs are nearly impossible to get. Market is overflooded to hell.

If there's a book you want to read you have to ask yourself under what conditions you will read it in. I need a couple beers and I need to be out of my comfort zone of my place to live, so I go out to Panera bread (its like a coffee shop with pasteries and ****** food (some vegetarian options) or I go to a bar and sit in a corner without the internet to distract me.

Or you could play a game. I found games and movie theaters help alleviate my anhedonia a bit. I recommend watching John Wick 1 and 2 and then go see John WIck 3 in theater. It was amazing!!!

My uncle has a home made cinema in his basement. I went there and watched john wick 1 and 2 it was awesome

Yeah I'm reading a book now called "The domesticated brain". It's an anthropology book, quite interesting but I know a lot about what's in it already. I realize that reading outside or in the car helps me focus. I can't seem to drink beers when reading but I noticed that weed gummies make reading more interesting but it's a hit and miss with the 5mg cuz it mostly doesn't get me high and 10mg would be way too much and give me paranoia and anxiety.

Right now I'm going to watch Joe Rogan and Dr. Shonda Patrick talk and this time I'm gonna write things down in my notes. Then I'll probably read tomorrow just to chill out. I might go to the library and find some other books too. I kind of don't feel like reading one book at a time unless it really really draws me in.

But I'll go to the liquor store and buy some booze and drink one or two for the podcasts. At least I'm doing something with the help of a stimulant. Idk what I'd do without that artificial adrenaline..

newtus · Jun 17, 2019 at 10:35 PM

I cant sleep. I got a headache too.

Desoxyn · Jun 17, 2019 at 11:44 PM

The universe is a perfect aligned spider web

Desoxyn · Jun 18, 2019 at 12:22 AM

I ate two sandwiches. Now I feel sleepy..

I ended the water fast cuz I had an iced coffee with sugar in it so it doesn't count anymore.

Desoxyn · Jun 18, 2019 at 12:30 AM

I have an obsession with myself and what's wrong with me

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Why do u as people questions and you rarely post anything about YOU here?

She has posted abt herself here quite a bit

Sometimes questions get asked and people take it the wrong way . There is a difference between constructive criticism and just plain criticism.

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

Bobby looks so regal in that photo!

He is very regal

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 01:35 AM

Oh wow u can finally edit your posts on tapatalk

Desoxyn · Jun 18, 2019 at 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Oh wow u can finally edit your posts on tapatalk

Hi ^^......

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 01:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Hi ^^......

Hi there I just gave u all my kin

childofchaos831 · Jun 18, 2019 at 01:53 AM

People are awake

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Roll Call 149

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Anonymous40796 Guest Posts: n/a	Jun 17, 2019 at 08:34 PM #284 So something positive to say, since ive been tapering down on my Seroquel I've noticed my interests have gotten better.
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jun 17, 2019 at 10:35 PM #291 I cant sleep. I got a headache too. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,985 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 17, 2019 at 11:44 PM #292 The universe is a perfect aligned spider web
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,985 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 12:22 AM #293 I ate two sandwiches. Now I feel sleepy.. I ended the water fast cuz I had an iced coffee with sugar in it so it doesn't count anymore.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,985 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 12:30 AM #294 I have an obsession with myself and what's wrong with me
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 01:35 AM #297 Oh wow u can finally edit your posts on tapatalk __________________
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 01:53 AM #300 People are awake __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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