Roll Call 149

Desoxyn · Jun 18, 2019 at 04:01 AM

Reassurance means nothing if you're just completely 100% full blown psychotic. But a lot of people with psychosis do see through the window a little bit.

childofchaos831 · Jun 18, 2019 at 04:04 AM

I don't think I'm 100% full blown at the moment... I know I still need my meds and that I need them adjusted... I can communicate. I can function. The demons are just always there and always screaming.

Findingreason · Jun 18, 2019 at 06:26 AM

Hey everyone,

How are things going?

I'm surviving. Just thought I'd check in with everyone since its been a while. I am struggling to get through life at the moment, and am trying to cope the best I can. Last week I was quite sick and had multiple things going on. A couple seizures followed by migraine, severe nausea that led to vomiting, nausea kept up for several days, and a hospital trip for possible UTI but it came back negative. Blood in my urine. Need to go to the health centre to follow up on that part this week.

Dysphoria is strong as ever, which is making for misery around the clock.

I am trying to cope but it's tough. Writing a draft letter to send to Trasek, the transgender activism organization in Finland, to see if they can help me with getting the treatments I need.

Also had some PTSD episodes last week while at my partner's, made for added stress and difficulties.

I'm sorry I have nothing positive or uplifting to note of at this time.

ofthevalley · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:18 AM

Morning!
@Findingreason

I hope things look up soon.

My son is driving himself to work today...wow. He’s almost a grown man. How the hell did that happen? Feeling old.

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

It does feel really alone. Especially late at night. It's 4 am here right now.

Does your therapist help u at all with the voices

I ask bc some therapists aren't very helpful with it. They think the only solution is medication and it's not worth it to discuss the voices content

My t encouraged me to work with my voices , instead of against. I found that fighting against them made them more intense. I'll admit it's hard to work with voicea that are saying horrible things and giving commands. But it's an interesting approach I hadn't thought of until I met my t

childofchaos831 · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

Does your therapist help u at all with the voices

I ask bc some therapists aren't very helpful with it. They think the only solution is medication and it's not worth it to discuss the voices content

My t encouraged me to work with my voices , instead of against. I found that fighting against them made them more intense. I'll admit it's hard to work with voicea that are saying horrible things and giving commands. But it's an interesting approach I hadn't thought of until I met my t

She's trying but she feels the level they are at is too dangerous at this point. With the being command hallucinations, she wants hospital and med adjustment and then we can work on countering them better.

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

She's trying but she feels the level they are at is too dangerous at this point. With the being command hallucinations, she wants hospital and med adjustment and then we can work on countering them better.

That makes sense

Something that helps me when they are being horrible is to play songs that I know all the words to. Usually its 90s alternative rock station on pandora for me. Anyway I can scream out the words to the songs to distract from what they are saying.

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:57 AM

My t used to give me ultimatums about the hospital when I was having command hallucinations, he called the police on me a couple times . I don't have the voices as much as I did back then, and I've found better ways to cope than doing what they tell me

childofchaos831 · Jun 18, 2019 at 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

That makes sense

Something that helps me when they are being horrible is to play songs that I know all the words to. Usually its 90s alternative rock station on pandora for me. Anyway I can scream out the words to the songs to distract from what they are saying.

I've been listening to a lot of music lately. And singing along. Loudly. More than normal really. It is helping. It doesn't help seeing them but it drowns them out a bit.

childofchaos831 · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

My t used to give me ultimatums about the hospital when I was having command hallucinations, he called the police on me a couple times . I don't have the voices as much as I did back then, and I've found better ways to cope than doing what they tell me

She said she wouldn't call the police without telling me. That she doesn't like surprises. I'm still scared of that prospect tho. I can get myself to the hospital without getting the police involved.

Blue_Bird · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:11 AM

Good morning, just took a shower, eating breakfast now. Going to hang out with my friend later

newtus · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:12 AM

Morning

I'm not obligated to answer anyone's questions either. Periodt. The end.

newtus · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:14 AM

Might go over to my dads today. Idk. We will see. I have a headache.

Blue_Bird · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:32 AM

It's going to rain most of the week, happy about that

newtus · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

It's going to rain most of the week, happy about that

Same. Me too.

childofchaos831 · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:36 AM

I love rain too

falcon09 · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:37 AM

It's supposed to rain all week here as well. Not really a fan of that though, I like to go on walks and I can't walk if it's raining. At least it'll cool down the weather a bit, though.

junkDNA · Jun 18, 2019 at 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

She said she wouldn't call the police without telling me. That she doesn't like surprises. I'm still scared of that prospect tho. I can get myself to the hospital without getting the police involved.

Yea the first time he told me he was doing it

The second time was xmas eve 2012, they knocked on my door. I didnt know they had been called. But to be fair I was really out of my mind and honestly was a danger. So I dont blame my t for doing it, he saved my life, even tho I got shackled by my ankles and handcuffed, and spent Christmas that year in a psych ward!!! I was non compliant with my medication, more of it went down the toilet than in my stomach. That was the hospitilization I was put on an injection

childofchaos831 · Jun 18, 2019 at 09:26 AM

I've only had police involved once and I requested them be called. I thought there wasn't enough to hold me. I would've sworn... They disagreed. I ended up on a hold that time. Only time.

Blue_Bird · Jun 18, 2019 at 09:57 AM

Have an appointment with my therapist later this week. Probably going to talk about school and stress related to moving

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Roll Call 149

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,985 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 04:01 AM #321 Reassurance means nothing if you're just completely 100% full blown psychotic. But a lot of people with psychosis do see through the window a little bit.
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 04:04 AM #322 I don't think I'm 100% full blown at the moment... I know I still need my meds and that I need them adjusted... I can communicate. I can function. The demons are just always there and always screaming. __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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ofthevalley Legendary Member Since Feb 2015 Location: USA Posts: 11,326 (SuperPoster!) 9 499 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 07:18 AM #324 Morning! @Findingreason I hope things look up soon. My son is driving himself to work today...wow. He’s almost a grown man. How the hell did that happen? Feeling old.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 07:57 AM #328 My t used to give me ultimatums about the hospital when I was having command hallucinations, he called the police on me a couple times . I don't have the voices as much as I did back then, and I've found better ways to cope than doing what they tell me __________________
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,740 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 08:11 AM #331 Good morning, just took a shower, eating breakfast now. Going to hang out with my friend later __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 08:12 AM #332 Morning I'm not obligated to answer anyone's questions either. Periodt. The end. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 08:14 AM #333 Might go over to my dads today. Idk. We will see. I have a headache. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,740 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 08:32 AM #334 It's going to rain most of the week, happy about that __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 08:36 AM #336 I love rain too __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,866 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 08:37 AM #337 It's supposed to rain all week here as well. Not really a fan of that though, I like to go on walks and I can't walk if it's raining. At least it'll cool down the weather a bit, though.
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 09:26 AM #339 I've only had police involved once and I requested them be called. I thought there wasn't enough to hold me. I would've sworn... They disagreed. I ended up on a hold that time. Only time. __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,740 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jun 18, 2019 at 09:57 AM #340 Have an appointment with my therapist later this week. Probably going to talk about school and stress related to moving __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
	Reply With Quote