Roll Call 149

Theres also a waterpark next to it and the park is only 5 min away from us.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the group at partial hospital and I'm not sure why. Maybe because it's so big

Are you more paranoid than usual maybe? I know if I’m a bit paranoid a group of people is a hard pass for me.

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

Yeah it could be paranoia. I've had some paranoid days recently.

Sorry to hear that. Worst feeling.
I wish I had some advice but to be honest I’m kinda a hermit.

Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety

YouTube isn't streaming the debates very well. It keeps on hanging an loading for me. I guess i'll watch it tomorrow when it's uploaded to youtube and not live. Ohwell, It's probably better that way, I can't stay up late anyway. Maybe listening to it will be an option while at work.

I've been depressed a lot since my mom came into town. I haven't been picking up the phone when my relatives call me. I'm just closing myelf in.

Pumpkin (my cat) is doing well. There is still a little blood in her urine but she's still very sociable. I don't think she eats the dry food at all anymore. I pill her for cancer, and then make a habit of givving her fancy feast wet food right afterwards, so she associates pilling with wet food.

For the last year 8 months I've been ruminating a lot of my mistakes I've made, major mistakes. I have a half hour drive home after work and i keep going back to my psychosis and how bad a person i am. I think part of the problem is that people view my actions a certain way without really understanding what lead up to it all. I know regret and guilt are useless emotions that hold us back, and to just keep moving, but I need a change of scenary desperately.

Wild Goose - Jen Hatmaker | Listen via Stitcher for Podcasts

Something about pain and speaks of some Christianity. You may like this Newtus (cause of a christian outlook) or anyone who's may be in pain right now. A friend sent it to me today.

I don't want to trip but I want my set and setting to be good to have a good trip.

Like if I was in Mexico on holidays or something.

But right now I hate where I'm at.

I slept all day and stayed up all night. I suppose I'll stay up all night tonight.

Or I could take benzos and sleep tonight and stay awake tomorrow in the day. But I can't take too many benzo or tolerance.

I decided to join WattPad and put original stories/poems and build a following.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I"m like begging my mom to make the pain go away. I'm begging her. welp mom made fun of me.. 😭

I heard something in my house that I can't even explain. It spooked me. I also didn't know on the smilie list that you click to insert a smiley into your post/thread. I always just copy and pasted them. The more you know.

YouTube

We are nothing much insignificant beings trying to find a purpose to a universe that'll just turn to nothingness. We are all nothingness.

Noooo! I didn't mean for you to watch it lol

Yeah it's all meaningless but idk maybe we can do interstellar space travel and huddle around a star in a spaceship and do black mirror things...

I'm going to get my mom off of Ativan. I bought 7g of 22% CBD that dissolves in water. I'll put 50mg in a glass of water and she will drink it which is 11mg CBD.

Lol, not sure if watching that made me feel better or feel even worse. I just don't want to live with the pain of the past.... but I don't want to die before being apart of an interesting future. I just don't want to lose my love ones in the process. I want them live and die along side of me. Not years and decades apart. But given the time and space... you basically do die along side of friends and family. A person who lives 100 years with people they meet and love within that 100 years basically dies along side of their love ones in a span of 100 years given how old the universe is and up until the universe is nothing.

Life is ok Erti. It's a miracle. At least other people have more fun than we do.

LIfe sucks. I wish I was aborted.

What is a thing?

Bees aren't around where there aren't flowers.. Flowers aren't around where there aren't bees.. or some other insect that does the same job..

Things are inseparable

Every.. thing..

What goes up must come down...