advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Slater
Member
 
Slater's Avatar
Slater wants to go out.
 
Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: United States
Posts: 42
3 yr Member
21 hugs
given
Default Jun 24, 2019 at 01:40 PM
  #1
I recovered from a major psychosis last year. I had never been through anything like it before and never expected to ever go through something like it. This here is a list of things I thought/believed while in my psychosis:

1. The main delusion was that I believed people were watching me somehow. At first I thought people were just watching me through my webcam and/or cell phone camera. Then it evolved into me believing there were cameras in the walls ALL OVER my house. Then my delusions got much bigger - I thought perhaps there was a satellite camera in space capturing my every move. I had classic "Truman Show" Syndrome. Like the movie The Truman Show, I believed my life was a sort of television show and that people had been watching me every day for years.

2. At first I thought only one person was stalking me - and then wanting to kill me for some reason. Then it evolved into thinking the ILLUMINATI was targeting me. Or perhaps some kind of murder group on the Dark Web.

3. I was a member of a different Internet forum. I became convinced the members of this forum were not who they claimed to be. I thought the forum was a "front" for something more evil and sinister. Again, either Dark Web stuff or Illuminati or something evil.

4. I became convinced that THE ENTIRE INTERNET was devoted to watching my life unfold and that everything written in the media and shown on TV -- commercials, shows, news, etc -- was CRYPTICALLY about me. I began seeing the number "12" everywhere and was convinced "12" was a secret Illuminati code number. This was so weird that to this day, I still get worried when I see someone say "12" online.

5. I thought that Donald Trump was like an avatar being used to represent me, and that I was the real President of the United States, and that every move I made dictated how the world stage was going to unfold.

6. I thought that comic strips and newspaper articles cryptically were created to speak of and talk about me.

7. Biggest delusion -- I thought someone, or a group of people, snuck into my room at night, chloroformed me while I was asleep, and injected me with millions of cancer cells while I slept. I thought I had cancer growing in my body. Brain cancer, lung cancer, male breast cancer, testicular cancer - I thought I was going to get it all. And I thought it was going to start showing itself in the springtime -- when it started to get warm and hot outside. I was deathly afraid that heat was going to cause cancer to pop out of my body - that I would get sick and die in the summer months, be dead by fall. I was convinced that people on the internet everywhere knew this and were cryptically talking about it.

8. I thought my family were aliens from outer space intent to kill me.

9. I thought I had "handlers" that followed me everywhere I went, and lived on my street in a different house (I never knew which one).

There's other stuff, but I can't think of it all, and it's been awhile since I had these delusions. I had no health insurance and wanted to get checked out by a doctor. I committed myself to a mental hospital last year and stayed only a week. I was prescribed Abilify and Prozac (later Rexulti instead of Abilify). MY DELUSIONS WENT AWAY. Not in the hospital, but after I came home. Strangely, they seemed to get better once I started the Prozac.

I never believed I was crazy. I didn't expect psychiatry to work.

BUT IT DID. And I'm a sane person again today.
Slater is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40796, Anonymous42644, Coopsmom, Goforward, Marylin, MidnightManiac, ShaneG, shelda, vabgahic
 
Thanks for this!
Ceara1010, cogladaid, objtrbit, ShaneG, Shoe, The_little_didgee

advertisement
Marylin
Grand Magnate
 
Marylin's Avatar
Marylin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
8 yr Member
863 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 27, 2019 at 11:22 AM
  #2
I thought that there were aliens half human reptiles in control I knew them as the illuminati.They were fascist and fighting for control of every organisation like the doctors surgery and the mental facility I was in.They needed human blood and would have transfusions at the gp surgeries when they were shut to human patients.I thought everyone communicated telepathically and could read minds as could I.I thought specific delusions about my sister and brother in law that they were separated and getting divorced when they weren't!

I thought the walls and ceilings and rooms in the mental facility that I was in were shinking this wasn't helped by some of the rooms being really small and the doctors in them being six foot tall.My delusion was that unless I paced around the building continuously in a circle the whole building would continue to shrink.Then there was the delusion that the fascists has ceased control of the country.Very frightening!
Marylin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, shelda
 
Thanks for this!
Slater
Tamster
Senior Chat Moderator
 
Tamster's Avatar
Tamster wouldn't we all like to be this happy?
 
Member Since: May 2012
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 4,687
10 yr Member
417 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 27, 2019 at 03:22 PM
  #3
most of the time i have North Korean Spies that will come to my room and wait for me to lay down to sleep then tie me down and perform surgery on me, mostly my head and heart. Even when i can't see them i can hear and smell when they are around. It isn't as bad now that i am on some new meds but they still come around.
One that i have had most of my life are mechanical spiders crawling on my desk and dropping from my ceiling. There doesn't seem to be any fix for them i just try to tolerate them, if it wasn't so hot outside i could stay out there but it is much to warm.
4 yrs ago i would have red fungus that would crawl on my keyboard and cover my hands when i was typing but that has not been a problem in a long time.
I wonder everyday if its over or not. But i know its not and probably never will be.
tams

__________________
Tams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

YOU LAUGH BECAUSE I AM DIFFERENT, I LAUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL THE SAME


Don't only practice your Art,
But force your way through into its secrets,
For it and Knowledge can
Raise men to the Divine.
Beethoven
Tamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644
 
Thanks for this!
Slater
MidnightManiac
Member
 
MidnightManiac's Avatar
MidnightManiac is going.
 
Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: Sweden
Posts: 36
3 yr Member
8 hugs
given
Default Jun 28, 2019 at 10:26 AM
  #4
I had auditory hallucinations. The Norse trickster god would talk to me. Still does sometimes. It was hard not to get caught answering. I talked to my psychiatrist about it and asked whether he was going to medicate that god out of me, but he smiled and said no. I don't know if it's because he found it unnecessary or cute.
MidnightManiac is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, shelda, Slater
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 28, 2019 at 11:17 AM
  #5
-FBI outside my house

- FBI featuring me on the news

-FBI stopping me from watching cartoons

- people who I don't even know dying in fires

- green/ yellow lights that follow me everywhere I go

but mostly FBI stuff
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, Goforward, shelda
 
Thanks for this!
Slater
Anonymous32451
Guest
Anonymous32451 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jun 28, 2019 at 11:18 AM
  #6
a plain crash in my bathroom
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644
 
Thanks for this!
Slater
Aviza
Magnate
 
Aviza's Avatar
Aviza Calm
 
Member Since: Jan 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,456
10 yr Member
86 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 03, 2019 at 11:03 PM
  #7
Well I get auditory hallucinations. I have talks with various famous people. Satan, God, Jesus was my husband and having an affair with the woman whose my case manager, younger, better hair. We had 3 kids, one looked just like a mini Jesus.

I was talking with Prince Harry and Prince William. I'm American. Prince William didn't want Prince Harry to marry Megan instead he wanted him to marry me, so I was going through tests but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't pull him from Megan they are solid.

I was auditioning for producers and writing songs that other spirits helped me write. Including David Ghetta who stole my song about my son, he's favored by God. He tied his hands to mine to steal more of my ideas.

I wrote out stars on paper, burned pictures of ex family members, and burned songs written about or by the devil we had a sexual relationship he was really into me, i prayed and begged God to save me.

These hallucinations lasted about a year and aren't in sequence. Because I remembered out of order.

When Brittney Spears went crazy she was part of my hallucination. Back than Brad Pitt was really into me, hallucinating, this is circa 2006 But I thought he was the devil disguised so I tried to marry him to Brittney Spears. She went crazy that very day. Simon Cowell is also part of my psychosis. I just remember him being around not exactly sure the interactions. I think he was like a father figure. Keanu proposed to me the 2nd hallucinating experience I decided to say yes prior times always said no.

I always feel like there are tests I have to pass experiences I'm supposed to have.

Oh forgot at the hospital I was talking to Jehovah. My vision went from 20/15 to needing glasses again. I was virtually blind for a week before my family brought me an old pair of glasses. I believed Satan healed my eyes in attempt to take my soul. I always wanted lazik. Jehovah undid Satan's work, but healed my foot. Saved my soul. I felt under spiritual attack. I asked to be rebaptized my church said no. I was reading the bible a lot using lavendar oil. I told God I would struggle the rest of my life if it meant my soul was saved. I really believe my soul was on the line. My eyes were really healed now they are not.

__________________
Son: 14, 12/15/2009 R.I.P.
Daughter: 20
Diagnosis: Bipolar with Psychosis. Latuda 100 mgs.
Aviza is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, shelda, Slater
angellady1
New Member
angellady1 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 1
3 yr Member
Default Jul 04, 2019 at 12:42 AM
  #8
1. I also thought security cameras were watching me and targeting me
2. I thought I was a buddha or buddha like supreme figure
3. I strongly believed in numerology and took numbers very seriously and to the extreme
4. I gave meaning to super trivial events
5. Also had illuminati delusions that I was in the illuminati and a powerful person
6. Mostly i felt very spiritual but it was out of control

I had two psychotic episodes and these are some recurring themes
angellady1 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, shelda, Slater
Tamster
Senior Chat Moderator
 
Tamster's Avatar
Tamster wouldn't we all like to be this happy?
 
Member Since: May 2012
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 4,687
10 yr Member
417 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jul 04, 2019 at 02:49 AM
  #9
i have one recurring halucination that has bothered me for years, sometimes it goes away for a few days but always returns. I have mechanical spiders drop from my cieling the sounds they make are unsettling, they seem to come out more at night in the dark when i am sitting at my desk. Their legs make clicking metal sounds when they move. They drop all over me and in my bed.
thanks for letting me share.
tams

__________________
Tams

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0

YOU LAUGH BECAUSE I AM DIFFERENT, I LAUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL THE SAME


Don't only practice your Art,
But force your way through into its secrets,
For it and Knowledge can
Raise men to the Divine.
Beethoven
Tamster is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Slater
HALLIEBETH87
Legendary
 
HALLIEBETH87's Avatar
HALLIEBETH87 Tired
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,175
15 yr Member
2,739 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Sep 24, 2019 at 09:37 PM
  #10
That satan was attacking me with stressful
Situations and I had to sing Christian worship music go protect myself or
He would attack my family and friends too

__________________
Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety
OCD

celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin
HALLIEBETH87 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, shelda
Under*Over
Member
 
Under*Over's Avatar
Under*Over has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 457
5 yr Member
177 hugs
given
Default Sep 25, 2019 at 05:01 PM
  #11
-That God would take care of me if I stopped my meds. That he was telling me to stop them and trust in him instead.

-That “men in black” were coming to take me away.

-That the walls had eyes.

-That demons were talking to me in my sleep. That my grandmother was being tortured in hell (demons told me this in my dreams, said that EVERYONE goes to hell in the end)

- That people were going to secret meetings about how to kil me and were spying on me and talking about me. (This was a psychotic episode a while back)

-That I was being sent messages in fortune cookies.

I cant remember anything else. My delusions seem to blur into each other and become just one giant experience of messed upness.

I hallucinate more than I am delusional.
Under*Over is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, Breaking Dawn, shelda
elizathornberry
New Member
elizathornberry has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Tanzania
Posts: 6
3 yr Member
Default Oct 24, 2019 at 12:47 AM
  #12
One morning I woke up a bit disoriented and panicked, sat straight up in the bed and started screaming at my mother as she was trying to calm me down, I was telling her to get out and get away from me and not to touch me, to leave me alone etc. Because, although she was just trying to wake me up for school- I believed she was lab personnel, working for a strange, social experiment which I was in- where I was being watched, monitored like a patient and, made to believe my mother and father were really my mother and father, when in fact they were actually just lab personnel working for the experiment.

I also took down notes of the times I woke up in the night because I thought they had significance and that added together in the right way, they created a code that created a message, which the clock was communicating to me? (something larger behind the clock like, something ruling over everyone but there were secrets in the details like this)

and I started unifying strange ideologies and finding patterns in things that weren't there. Thought about aliens, space, mars, religion, ancient cultures and history, and philosophies, like things about the da Vinci code and, Michelangelo, etc, etc. and government conspiracies. And just started linking it all together and thinking about all of it too much and creating patterns out of nothing or, theories and conspiracies that were wild and delusional.
elizathornberry is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, Breaking Dawn, shelda
 
Thanks for this!
unsure123
elizathornberry
New Member
elizathornberry has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Tanzania
Posts: 6
3 yr Member
Default Oct 24, 2019 at 12:49 AM
  #13
Once I was in a psychiatric unit which I voluntarily signed into for treatment, a few days in I started becoming paranoid and untrusting of the setting I was in, when they perscribed me a medication and tried to urge me or force me to take it- though I was initially told everything would be my choice and I didn't have to take any meds I didn't want to. And that I could leave at any time.

Though when I asked to leave they tried to stop me twice. When I refused meds, they continually tried to force and coerce and persuade me.

Eventually I played along, put the meds in my mouth. And nodded and listened when they asked me about why I shouldn't leave, as if I agreed with them. Saying, "yeah you're totally right." "I've changed my mind! "

And then I spit the meds out from under my tongue into a trash can, and I snuck out of the facility through the kitchen. Never went back, or took that medication. They gave me buspar and Abilify. On top of what I was already taking, lexapro.

LOL
elizathornberry is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, Breaking Dawn, shelda
bpcyclist
Legendary
 
bpcyclist's Avatar
bpcyclist has no updates.
 
Member Since: Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
40.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 26, 2019 at 09:54 PM
  #14
I have several but one of the hardest is that I am constantly being followed. People, cars, helicopters, trains. Everything. Makes it pretty hard to leave the house sometimes.

__________________
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
bpcyclist is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, Breaking Dawn, shelda
 
Thanks for this!
unsure123
sophiebunny
Veteran Member
sophiebunny has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 570
5 yr Member
77 hugs
given
Default Oct 29, 2019 at 12:28 AM
  #15
I don't want to give THEM any reason to return. I'll keep THEM to myself. It's safer that way.
sophiebunny is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, Breaking Dawn, shelda
Marylin
Grand Magnate
 
Marylin's Avatar
Marylin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
8 yr Member
863 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 05, 2019 at 08:38 PM
  #16
That I could eat what I wanted and feed my sugar addiction and lose weight and get healthy....didn't understand that I was really killing myself.
I still have the delusions that I had under psychosis that the people in power worship satan and want to enslave the world's population and use us as cogs in a wheel
for their profit and pleasure. That they consider us as useless eaters and themselves as super beings that are held back by the lesser mortals who are a burden and that we should be exterminated. They are known as the illuminati.
Marylin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40796, Anonymous42644
Ceara1010
Poohbah
 
Ceara1010's Avatar
Ceara1010 Is doing much better
 
Member Since: May 2016
Location: Texas USA
Posts: 1,168
5 yr Member
1,121 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 08, 2020 at 01:11 PM
  #17
I was about to start a thread asking people to share their delusions but I found there already is one. My delusions are very similar to the one's had by the person who began this thread: I thought I was at the center of an FBI investigation and also thought I was being monitored in real time by cameras in my apartment and via satellite. Everywhere I went I thought I was being technology-stalked. While I was in the hospital, I thought everyone there was some kind of undercover FBI agent. But the delusion is that all these people are trying to help me, not hurt me.

It's been difficult for me because I was actually stalked at by someone whose been gaslighting me. I have to sort out what was real from what was delusional, caused by the trauma of that situation. My delusions appear to be from PTSD more than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

__________________
Men wanted for hazardous journey. Small wages,
bitter cold, long hours of complete darkness.
Safe return doubtful. Honour and recognition
in event of success.

-Ernest Shackleton
Ceara1010 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, ShaneG, SlumberKitty
 
Thanks for this!
ShaneG
Marylin
Grand Magnate
 
Marylin's Avatar
Marylin has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: England,UK
Posts: 3,017
8 yr Member
863 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 08, 2020 at 03:22 PM
  #18
I believed what David Icke is saying about reptilian aliens being in control of the world and trying to create hell on earth.
It was scary and a lot of the time I was paranoid.
Marylin is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous40796, Anonymous42644, Ceara1010
HALLIEBETH87
Legendary
 
HALLIEBETH87's Avatar
HALLIEBETH87 Tired
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,175
15 yr Member
2,739 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2020 at 03:19 PM
  #19
Over Christmas and new year I was inpatient with depression and psychosis. I believed satan was attacking me with bad thoughts and images of ways to hurt myself. I thought it was bc things were going so well in my life. I did end up self harming and it was just an overall sucky experience. I was in a camera room the whole time.

__________________
Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety
OCD

celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin
HALLIEBETH87 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous42644, Ceara1010, SlumberKitty
HALLIEBETH87
Legendary
 
HALLIEBETH87's Avatar
HALLIEBETH87 Tired
 
Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,175
15 yr Member
2,739 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 14, 2020 at 03:20 PM
  #20
Quote:
Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
Over Christmas and new year I was inpatient with depression and psychosis. I believed satan was attacking me with bad thoughts and images of ways to hurt myself. I thought it was bc things were going so well in my life. I did end up self harming and it was just an overall sucky experience. I was in a camera room the whole time.
Also my diagnosis was officially changed to schizoaffective bp type

__________________
Bipolar 1 w/psychotic features or schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety
OCD

celexa, prazosin, Lybalvi and prn zyprexa and klonopin
HALLIEBETH87 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:38 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.