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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 02:11 PM
  #861
I guess I’ll try to sleep for an hour or so. I’m exhausted.

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 02:38 PM
  #862
So I have blind spots in my left eye and I'm told to tell the nurse I need a retina appointment. So I did, but it's the ditzy incompetent nurse who doesn't understand I need an emergency appointment. She told me to wait in my room for her to come and help me.

I've been waiting! I never saw the doctor here about my back either. And it's not healed.
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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 03:37 PM
  #863
Going to start season 3 of stranger things later this week

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 04:01 PM
  #864
Time to do some reading

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 04:29 PM
  #865
Welp...looks like I’m not getting leather Roll Call 150
Hubby found basically the same car with cloth instead of leather for a bit less money and only 12k in miles.
He’s putting a deposit down tonight and I’ll go drive it tomorrow. If I like it he’ll pick it up on the way home.

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 04:36 PM
  #866
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Originally Posted by ofthevalley View Post
Welp...looks like I’m not getting leather Roll Call 150
Hubby found basically the same car with cloth instead of leather for a bit less money and only 12k in miles.
He’s putting a deposit down tonight and I’ll go drive it tomorrow. If I like it he’ll pick it up on the way home.


Yay new car,Roll Call 150Roll Call 150Roll Call 150

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 04:52 PM
  #867
Skipped the Seroquel last night. I heard my mom saying to my sister this morning that she got tested and was fine. But she was talking about her heart not getting worse. So I asked my sister is the lump on my moms breast not breast cancer? My sister said my mom still doesn't know yet.

What disappointment. God told me that I didn't praise him enough so he has to scare me again with not knowing.

Those are the types of conversations I have with God. He wants to kill me, my mom or my dad and he wants me to choose who first. And I'm not choosing.

It was much easier when I was an atheist. I still kind of am. I want to say "God isn't real". But I saw him on psychedelics.

Faith is so stupid. Why can't there be proof? I suppose that's the same reason we don't know what happens after death. Psychedelics just give us hints and the government doesn't want us to know fully.
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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:01 PM
  #868
I'm super tired and I feel kind of crappy. My stomach hurts and my eyes feel dark and I'm not hearing God much today. I'm feeling lame and losery. I feel like nothing matters and everything matters That nothing can calm me and yet nothing can excite me. I want to lay on my bed under my weighted blanket and zone out into oblivion. I don't want to feel this way when I wake up tomorrow. I feel like what's the point. My friend's dog was acting weird and I told my friend maybe she had an angel in her room and that's why the dog didn't want to go in there. I don't think she believed me but I believe things like that. I think dogs and cats can sense it. I'm too dull. I'm too life sucked out of me. It's like the AP has taken over my brain and instead left me a shell of a person.
Possible trigger:
What a messed up day today is. I feel really ******

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:03 PM
  #869
Congrats on the new car @ofthevalley

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:06 PM
  #870
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I'm super tired and I feel kind of crappy. My stomach hurts and my eyes feel dark and I'm not hearing God much today. I'm feeling lame and losery. I feel like nothing matters and everything matters That nothing can calm me and yet nothing can excite me. I want to lay on my bed under my weighted blanket and zone out into oblivion. I don't want to feel this way when I wake up tomorrow. I feel like what's the point. My friend's dog was acting weird and I told my friend maybe she had an angel in her room and that's why the dog didn't want to go in there. I don't think she believed me but I believe things like that. I think dogs and cats can sense it. I'm too dull. I'm too life sucked out of me. It's like the AP has taken over my brain and instead left me a shell of a person.
Possible trigger:
What a messed up day today is. I feel really ******
I'm sorry you're struggling Kit I hope you get to use your weighted blanket tonight. Please stay safe

I keep having agitation and thinking it would be great if I had one of those blankets, so I'm gonna save money for one. There's one on Amazon I like for $60

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:07 PM
  #871
I hope I wake up early tomorrow so I can go eat breakfast somewhere before my case manager picks me up to see my therapist

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:13 PM
  #872
I'm weird, I relax by listening to Mr. Nightmare's true creepy/horror stories on YouTube

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:30 PM
  #873
Drinking wine and gonna cut the lawn
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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:35 PM
  #874
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I'm sorry you're struggling Kit I hope you get to use your weighted blanket tonight. Please stay safe

I keep having agitation and thinking it would be great if I had one of those blankets, so I'm gonna save money for one. There's one on Amazon I like for $60
Thanks @Blue_Bird I now have two weighted blankets. The first one I got was only 10lbs but it didn't feel heavy enough when it was opened up and I was under it. So I got a second one that is 20lbs and it feels much better. IDK which kind you would like better but they do come in different weights. I gotta go volunteer tonight so it's going to be a while before I can lay down and zone out under mine.

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:47 PM
  #875
I'm afraid that my heart will stop if I drink wine after drinking an energy drink
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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:47 PM
  #876
**** me I think I might be getting some mild akathisia from this vraylar.

I really don't want to have to go on clozaril
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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 05:54 PM
  #877
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I'm afraid that my heart will stop if I drink wine after drinking an energy drink
I hear you. That would scare me too.


Lately I'm afraid I'm going to have a heart attack. God told me I'm going to and I'm going to have Cancer but I'll survive both and die when I'm 78.

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 06:13 PM
  #878
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**** me I think I might be getting some mild akathisia from this vraylar.

I really don't want to have to go on clozaril
Have you been on Cogentin? It's supposed to help with akathisia. I don't take it and never have but heard it's really helpful

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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 06:18 PM
  #879
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Have you been on Cogentin? It's supposed to help with akathisia. I don't take it and never have but heard it's really helpful
Yeah I've been on cogentin. I was on it when I was on Haldol 10mg + Geodon 160mg.

It didn't work then, but maybe it'll work now. I just took one.
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Default Jul 15, 2019 at 06:30 PM
  #880
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I hear you. That would scare me too.


Lately I'm afraid I'm going to have a heart attack. God told me I'm going to and I'm going to have Cancer but I'll survive both and die when I'm 78.
Apparently I'm going to die at 92 or 50 something.

I doubted that I would make it past 30 but it seems likely now. I remember when I was 19, I was sure that I wouldn't make it past my 20th birthday because I was using fentanyl like opioids.
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