Roll Call 150

Gr3tta_0 · Jul 16, 2019 at 10:50 PM

Thank you Erti, i have read that you are having many struggles lately. I do hope you get some much needed relief!!

Tamster · Jul 16, 2019 at 10:52 PM

hey all!

i went to lunch with my Peer support person, Heather, she and I go out every 2 weeks and talk about what is going on in my life. It went pretty good till i went to get out of the car when we got to my house. I looked at her and all the sudden her whole face was covered in blood, i had to get out of there. Once i got inside and calmed down i was sure she was ok but i called my case manager he shares an office with her and he had her call me back when she got back to the office and assured me she was fine.
It really shook me up.
I'm cool now tho, crisis passed!

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gr3tta_0

Thank you Erti, i have read that you are having many struggles lately. I do hope you get some much needed relief!!

Thanks Gr3tta <3

Erti · Jul 16, 2019 at 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tamster

hey all!

i went to lunch with my Peer support person, Heather, she and I go out every 2 weeks and talk about what is going on in my life. It went pretty good till i went to get out of the car when we got to my house. I looked at her and all the sudden her whole face was covered in blood, i had to get out of there. Once i got inside and calmed down i was sure she was ok but i called my case manager he shares an office with her and he had her call me back when she got back to the office and assured me she was fine.
It really shook me up.
I'm cool now tho, crisis passed!

what is a hallucination? Reminds me when I was at an anime convention while other people were dropping acid. A girl was like "why is everyone bleeding from their noses" and was rolling around on the hotel floor.

Tamster · Jul 16, 2019 at 11:46 PM

YES, a full on hallucination or is it a delusion. I just remember pulling away from her and getting out of the car.
Man i hate this disease!

Erti · Jul 17, 2019 at 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tamster

YES, a full on hallucination or is it a delusion. I just remember pulling away from her and getting out of the car.
Man i hate this disease!

Yeah it can be scary. Is this the first time that has happened?

Tamster · Jul 17, 2019 at 12:34 AM

for a hallucination or delusion heck no. I have seen things or heard voices or 47 yrs now. I just was taken aback by the blood that isn't a usual occurance for me.
I had my first treatment in 5th grade after the recess teacher watched me talking to something he couldn't see. The teacher that afternoon took me by the hand and took me to an office that was the child psychologist for the school system. I talked with him for the entire afternoon, i saw him or as i aged someone else until i graduated.
After graduation i saw my first pdoc and adult T. The rest is history.

Blue_Bird · Jul 17, 2019 at 12:49 AM

Can't sleep

Tamster · Jul 17, 2019 at 12:54 AM

i am right there with you Blue_Bird. I want to sleep but can't seem to move to the bed and try.

Blue_Bird · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:02 AM

Hope you can get some sleep Tamter!

I got a couple hours but it was mostly tossing and turning. Just took some benadryl to see if it can help

Tamster · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:04 AM

May the benedryl ease your path to sleep, see you in the morning!
Tams

Erti · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tamster

for a hallucination or delusion heck no. I have seen things or heard voices or 47 yrs now. I just was taken aback by the blood that isn't a usual occurance for me.
I had my first treatment in 5th grade after the recess teacher watched me talking to something he couldn't see. The teacher that afternoon took me by the hand and took me to an office that was the child psychologist for the school system. I talked with him for the entire afternoon, i saw him or as i aged someone else until i graduated.
After graduation i saw my first pdoc and adult T. The rest is history.

ah I see. Yeah I'd imagine the blood seeing it for the first time would be distressing. Especially when it's the first time you've seen it. I know the first time I started seeing things and stuff (got increasingly worse since I've been in and out of psych hospitals this past 10 years). It just started becoming apart of life. I find voices harder to deal with than visions during the day but at night they're worse but I sleep with the light on or with my mom and look away from what I'm seeing.

Tamster · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:20 AM

yes i understand. I can't really remember my life without being delusioned or bothered by something although i was able to work some of my life. I had really good employers who allowed me to get the treatment that kept me stable. I am a bit better than i used to be i started going in and out of hospitals in the 80s to present although i am getting close to 2 yrs without an inpatient stay.
I have a good team of ppl who work with me now and help me when i get overwhelmed.
Ha i remember at 10 yrs old seeing monkeys on adults heads and it made me smile, i don't have such harmless things anymore but it is an ok memory from long ago.

Erti · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tamster

yes i understand. I can't really remember my life without being delusioned or bothered by something although i was able to work some of my life. I had really good employers who allowed me to get the treatment that kept me stable. I am a bit better than i used to be i started going in and out of hospitals in the 80s to present although i am getting close to 2 yrs without an inpatient stay.
I have a good team of ppl who work with me now and help me when i get overwhelmed.
Ha i remember at 10 yrs old seeing monkeys on adults heads and it made me smile, i don't have such harmless things anymore but it is an ok memory from long ago.

My earliest memory of hearing voices is when I was around 5 and I was sitting in the bathroom talking to a voice that I answered to. I remember it vaguely and I did hear voices time to time during my childhood but hasn't gone out of control until I cut myself at 18 almost 19 years old because voices told me to do so.

falcon09 · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:29 AM

can't sleep, feeling a bit manicy.

Tamster · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:31 AM

i used to invest more in what the voices said to do, once when i was around 11 or 12 voices told me to cut down a small christmas tree. I rode my bike down the road to a small village and there was a lovely little scotch pine i sawed down out of someones yard and took it home and put it up in my room as my personal christmas tree. In my twenties it was more self harm things that after awhile i fought against, i didn't like having to hide parts of my body anymore and replaced that behavior with other things.
Isn't it a colorful life it creates for the delusionals. tams

i bet those ppl were mad the next day that was a really nice little tree.

Erti · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tamster

i used to invest more in what the voices said to do, once when i was around 11 or 12 voices told me to cut down a small christmas tree. I rode my bike down the road to a small village and there was a lovely little scotch pine i sawed down out of someones yard and took it home and put it up in my room as my personal christmas tree. In my twenties it was more self harm things that after awhile i fought against, i didn't like having to hide parts of my body anymore and replaced that behavior with other things.
Isn't it a colorful life it creates for the delusionals. tams

i bet those ppl were mad the next day that was a really nice little tree.

11 - 12 year old you sounds like someone I totally wanna hang out with.

Tamster · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:46 AM

i was really independant , my parents had divorced at 8 and my mom moved my brother and I to another state 4 hrs from my dad so we saw him less and less and she was a flamin drunk so she was at the bar most nights. I was left in charge of my 3 yr old brother. We did ok but the house especially the kitchen was a cesspool.
I wanted pierced ears and she said no so at 4 in the morning one night i took a needle and heated it up and wiped it off with alcohol. Took two ice cubes and numbed my ear and pierced them myself it took me 2 hours to do laying on the bathroom floor. They were even lol, i always figured out how to get what i wanted. the one thing that i wish would have happened is that i would have had nicer clothes and more of them, it seemed like my mom drank all our money away. The only time i got clothes was when i saw my dad at the holidays. One school year i had 2 pair of pants and one of them the cool red jeans i got for my birthday got ruined when i was ice skating i slid to avoid getting tagged during an ice skating tag game i tried to duck under a tree on the side of the stream and there was a beer bottle frozen in the ice and it went thru my knee , the cool part , yes there was one cool part , is when it happened this 14 yr old kid that i had such a crush on helped me to the side and talked to me while someone went and got his dad to help. He took me to a neighbors house and she took care of me until mom came home from the bar at 7pm she took me to a medical clinic and was livid because she had a date at 9, we got home about 945pm that night she put me in bed shut the door and told the babysitter to watch my brother and not to open the door or do anything for me, i cried for hours it hurt so bad.

Desoxyn · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:48 AM

I feel horribly ANTI depressed

I went out for a smoke and realized that I didn't have my phone with me. I spent the whole 5 minutes wondering if I should put my smoke on the ground and go back inside to get my phone so I can play music.

#Addiction

Erti · Jul 17, 2019 at 01:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tamster

i was really independant , my parents had divorced at 8 and my mom moved my brother and I to another state 4 hrs from my dad so we saw him less and less and she was a flamin drunk so she was at the bar most nights. I was left in charge of my 3 yr old brother. We did ok but the house especially the kitchen was a cesspool.
I wanted pierced ears and she said no so at 4 in the morning one night i took a needle and heated it up and wiped it off with alcohol. Took two ice cubes and numbed my ear and pierced them myself it took me 2 hours to do laying on the bathroom floor. They were even lol, i always figured out how to get what i wanted. the one thing that i wish would have happened is that i would have had nicer clothes and more of them, it seemed like my mom drank all our money away. The only time i got clothes was when i saw my dad at the holidays. One school year i had 2 pair of pants and one of them the cool red jeans i got for my birthday got ruined when i was ice skating i slid to avoid getting tagged during an ice skating tag game i tried to duck under a tree on the side of the stream and there was a beer bottle frozen in the ice and it went thru my knee , the cool part , yes there was one cool part , is when it happened this 14 yr old kid that i had such a crush on helped me to the side and talked to me while someone went and got his dad to help. He took me to a neighbors house and she took care of me until mom came home from the bar at 7pm she took me to a medical clinic and was livid because she had a date at 9, we got home about 945pm that night she put me in bed shut the door and told the babysitter to watch my brother and not to open the door or do anything for me, i cried for hours it hurt so bad.

Sounds like your mother had some issues...

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Gr3tta_0 Grand Member Member Since Apr 2017 Location: United States Posts: 970 6 857 hugs given	Jul 16, 2019 at 10:50 PM #981 Thank you Erti, i have read that you are having many struggles lately. I do hope you get some much needed relief!!
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,741 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 12:49 AM #988 Can't sleep __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,741 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 01:02 AM #990 Hope you can get some sleep Tamter! I got a couple hours but it was mostly tossing and turning. Just took some benadryl to see if it can help __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 01:29 AM #995 can't sleep, feeling a bit manicy.
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,986 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 01:48 AM #999 I feel horribly ANTI depressed I went out for a smoke and realized that I didn't have my phone with me. I spent the whole 5 minutes wondering if I should put my smoke on the ground and go back inside to get my phone so I can play music. #Addiction
	Reply With Quote