Roll Call 151

Blue_Bird · Jul 17, 2019 at 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I have to say I’m a little worried about you....you said you weren’t depressed when I asked about it the other day, but this sounds totally depressed....between this and the

Possible trigger:

suicidal thinking

I think you need to call your T.....

Thanks SP, yes you're right. Part of it was stopping one of my meds. It didn't go well obviously, I took it tonight though I just wanted to see if I could get off it but after a couple days it turned into extreme agitation/depression and

Possible trigger:

suicidal urges

Sometimes psychotic · Jul 17, 2019 at 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks SP, yes you're right. Part of it was stopping one of my meds. It didn't go well obviously, I took it tonight though I just wanted to see if I could get off it but after a couple days it turned into extreme agitation/depression and

Possible trigger:

suicidal urges

Yeah if you want to stop something, especially if it’s an AP you should probably taper very slowly.....when I was getting off abilify I was tremendously angry about everything and that was tapering 1/4 at a time.

Tamster · Jul 17, 2019 at 06:42 PM

warm caring hugs for everyone tonight.

cogladaid · 07:59 PM

I’m going to stop drinking hard alcohol. I just finished my rum off. I got some gin, baileys, tequila, and peach schnapps left but I’m not going to buy more once they’re out.

childofchaos831 · Jul 17, 2019 at 07:22 PM

Just had a crown come out... I hate going to the dentist... I don't wanna go!

falcon09 · Jul 17, 2019 at 07:41 PM

I feel horrible, something is just off. I don't know if im physically sick or about to go psychotic or what. I just feel like ****.

Hugs to all

ofthevalley · Jul 17, 2019 at 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

I feel horrible, something is just off. I don't know if im physically sick or about to go psychotic or what. I just feel like ****.

Hugs to all

Sorry Falcon.
I hope a good nights sleep will help.

falcon09 · Jul 17, 2019 at 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Sorry Falcon.
I hope a good nights sleep will help.

Yeah I only slept 3 hours last night, I'm really hoping I can get to sleep early tonight.

falcon09 · Jul 17, 2019 at 09:29 PM

Possible trigger:

FBI reading my thoughts via experimental technology implanted beneath my skin, underneath my ear

childofchaos831 · Jul 17, 2019 at 10:31 PM

Falcs, the likelihood of that is pretty low. I can promise you they aren't. Can you call your doctor? Is it nighttime where you are?

Desoxyn · Jul 17, 2019 at 11:49 PM

I'm just way too relaxed, lethargic, fatigued, tired, sleepy, unmotivated, sedated to do anything.

I took an extra Vyvanse. It barely did anything. I literally can't fight this. It's way too hard. I've never felt this useless before. I don't even want to do anything.

There was a time that I was going to the gym and feeling motivated and doing so many things. Now I feel dead.

Desoxyn · Jul 18, 2019 at 04:25 AM

Possible trigger:

I think about that guy that made me buy smokes for him in exchange for a ride home during the time I was close to slitting my neck in the washroom. I should have punched him right in the ****ing face on the shop floor, got a grinder and waved it in the air dare anyone come near me.

I say I'm doing well sometimes but I just have to accept that I'm somewhat unstable and will always try harder than I would without mental illness and a really ****** isolated adolescence.

Oh and btw I was feeling better after watching some podcasts and TED Talks.

Now I feel like I'm being possessed by the devil again. But I'm good.

I'm not a sociopath. I am tortured by my own mind. I have no desire to hurt people. Just the ones that need to learn a lesson. But I always get blamed for **** that I didn't do. It happens all the time since I was a kid. I just have **** luck.

Erti · Jul 18, 2019 at 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Possible trigger:

I think about that guy that made me buy smokes for him in exchange for a ride home during the time I was close to slitting my neck in the washroom. I should have punched him right in the ****ing face on the shop floor, got a grinder and waved it in the air dare anyone come near me.

I say I'm doing well sometimes but I just have to accept that I'm somewhat unstable and will always try harder than I would without mental illness and a really ****** isolated adolescence.

Oh and btw I was feeling better after watching some podcasts and TED Talks.

Now I feel like I'm being possessed by the devil again. But I'm good.

I'm not a sociopath. I am tortured by my own mind. I have no desire to hurt people. Just the ones that need to learn a lesson. But I always get blamed for **** that I didn't do. It happens all the time since I was a kid. I just have **** luck.

sometimes wonder if I'm really a sociopath well more so narcissistic with the thoughts that go on inside my mind. I mean I know I'm not but can't help but question my motives... Everyone do things for selfish reasons. Even if it seems to be a selfless act... they're doing it to make them feel better about themselves. I don't know if I'm being manipulative or if I'm just expressing true feelings in my head when I'm saying I want to die. I do feel like I want to die... but then if I think about it... maybe it's not that I want to die... more so I don't want to feel this mental anguish anymore. I feel really bad right now. I feel like a horrible person. I'm a horrible person who doesn't deserve to feel at least sane. That's why the gods curse me with this. I can't express how heartbroken I am right now but I probably deserve it no matter how unfair I feel like it is.

childofchaos831 · Jul 18, 2019 at 07:44 AM

No sleep yet again... At an AA meeting before PHP. May not stay for the whole day of PHP... May head home and nap...

ofthevalley · Jul 18, 2019 at 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

Possible trigger:

FBI reading my thoughts via experimental technology implanted beneath my skin, underneath my ear

The likelihood of this is minute I promise you.
I think you need to talk to your care team, Falcs. Perhaps this isn’t the best time to discharge.

ofthevalley · Jul 18, 2019 at 08:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Possible trigger:

I think about that guy that made me buy smokes for him in exchange for a ride home during the time I was close to slitting my neck in the washroom. I should have punched him right in the ****ing face on the shop floor, got a grinder and waved it in the air dare anyone come near me.

I say I'm doing well sometimes but I just have to accept that I'm somewhat unstable and will always try harder than I would without mental illness and a really ****** isolated adolescence.

Oh and btw I was feeling better after watching some podcasts and TED Talks.

Now I feel like I'm being possessed by the devil again. But I'm good.

I'm not a sociopath. I am tortured by my own mind. I have no desire to hurt people. Just the ones that need to learn a lesson. But I always get blamed for **** that I didn't do. It happens all the time since I was a kid. I just have **** luck.

You are a good person, Desoxyn. Your illness lies to you.

ofthevalley · Jul 18, 2019 at 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

sometimes wonder if I'm really a sociopath well more so narcissistic with the thoughts that go on inside my mind. I mean I know I'm not but can't help but question my motives... Everyone do things for selfish reasons. Even if it seems to be a selfless act... they're doing it to make them feel better about themselves. I don't know if I'm being manipulative or if I'm just expressing true feelings in my head when I'm saying I want to die. I do feel like I want to die... but then if I think about it... maybe it's not that I want to die... more so I don't want to feel this mental anguish anymore. I feel really bad right now. I feel like a horrible person. I'm a horrible person who doesn't deserve to feel at least sane. That's why the gods curse me with this. I can't express how heartbroken I am right now but I probably deserve it no matter how unfair I feel like it is.

You do not deserve what your mind is telling you.
I’m sorry you are hurting and struggling so much right now.

ofthevalley · Jul 18, 2019 at 08:23 AM

newtus · Jul 18, 2019 at 08:23 AM

Morning

With everything going on, I feel so idk. I cant explain it. Many times lately I feel like I've been breathing through a coffee straw. Those extremely skinny straws u get with your coffee.

I've not been eating and barely sleeping. Throwing up everyday from anxiety.

Idk

childofchaos831 · Jul 18, 2019 at 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Morning

With everything going on, I feel so idk. I cant explain it. Many times lately I feel like I've been breathing through a coffee straw. Those extremely skinny straws u get with your coffee.

I've not been eating and barely sleeping. Throwing up everyday from anxiety.

Idk

I'm so sorry newt. That sounds awful.

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Roll Call 151

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Tamster Senior Chat Moderator Member Since May 2012 Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 4,687 11 417 hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 06:42 PM #43 warm caring hugs for everyone tonight. __________________ Tams https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FOUqQt3Kg0 YOU LAUGH BECAUSE I AM DIFFERENT, I LAUGH BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL THE SAME Don't only practice your Art, But force your way through into its secrets, For it and Knowledge can Raise men to the Divine. Beethoven
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Jul 17, 2019 at 07:15 PM #44 I’m going to stop drinking hard alcohol. I just finished my rum off. I got some gin, baileys, tequila, and peach schnapps left but I’m not going to buy more once they’re out. Last edited by cogladaid; Jul 17, 2019 at 07:59 PM..
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 07:22 PM #45 Just had a crown come out... I hate going to the dentist... I don't wanna go! __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,017 9 1,863 hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 07:41 PM #46 I feel horrible, something is just off. I don't know if im physically sick or about to go psychotic or what. I just feel like ****. Hugs to all
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,017 9 1,863 hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 09:29 PM #49 Possible trigger: FBI reading my thoughts via experimental technology implanted beneath my skin, underneath my ear
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jul 17, 2019 at 10:31 PM #50 Falcs, the likelihood of that is pretty low. I can promise you they aren't. Can you call your doctor? Is it nighttime where you are? __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jul 18, 2019 at 07:44 AM #54 No sleep yet again... At an AA meeting before PHP. May not stay for the whole day of PHP... May head home and nap... __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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ofthevalley Legendary Member Since Feb 2015 Location: USA Posts: 11,326 (SuperPoster!) 9 499 hugs given	Jul 18, 2019 at 08:23 AM #58 __________________ Schizoaffective, PTSD, Anxiety
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