Roll Call 151

childofchaos831 · Jul 20, 2019 at 07:41 PM

This is my weather currently... Roll Call 151

Tamster · Jul 20, 2019 at 07:52 PM

it has dropped already to 84 and rain is coming i think. by monday night it says 58f YAAAAASSSSSS SIR! Open those windows

Jul 20, 2019 at 07:55 PM

I don't think I had enough calories (500 calories) for my evening dosage of Geodon. When this happens it makes whirring noises in my head, like my hearing is going in and out. So this woul d basically be like withdrawal from Geodon. Anyone else get this? The only problem w/ Geodon I think, for me, is the short half life.

Angelique67 · Jul 20, 2019 at 08:07 PM

I look so awful I can't believe my friend stays with me. I wish I could go home. I want to watch Star Trek marathons everyday and order pizzas and burgers and fries and giant grinders. That would be heavenly. So stupid of me to have gotten into this mess.

Desoxyn · Jul 20, 2019 at 10:24 PM

This is all I take, nothing more =]

Meds;
Invega Sustenna 150mg every 28 days
Seroquel 4x 25mg
Olanzepine 5mg PRN
Vyvanse 50mg
Ativan/Xanax PRN
Atenolol 2x 50mg

Vitamins;
Vitamin D 1000ui
Vitamin B12 5mg
Fish oil 4x 900mg triple strength
Melatonin 10mg
Broccoli sprout extract 600mg (60mg sulforaphane)

Nootropics;
CBD
4-acetoxy-N,N-dimethyltyptamine 5-15mg
Phenibut 1500mg
Kratom 5g
2.5-5mg THC gummies
Phenylpiracetam 200mg
Nicotine
Caffeine

But I feel somewhat motivated again. Although sleepy. I might sleep..

childofchaos831 · Jul 21, 2019 at 12:32 AM

I couldn't make myself take my meds today...

falcon09 · Jul 21, 2019 at 12:37 AM

Tired....but I can't sleep.

Desoxyn · Jul 21, 2019 at 01:53 AM

I feel a bit sick. Could be the kratom. Took 10mg melatonin and 75mg Seroquel so I'm gonna try and sleep. I wish it was Monday instead of Sunday cuz then I could bring my books to the coffee connections before it starts and read.

I will say to them "I have no friends which makes me sad and alone" lol..

Maybe I could go to the library tomorrow. I really need to take it easy on myself. I'm soooo ****ing hard on myself it's unreal. I have such high expectations.

My mind is like a blank canvas and I just need to paint.

Blue_Bird · Jul 21, 2019 at 02:13 AM

Got 3 hours of sleep, can't get anymore

childofchaos831 · Jul 21, 2019 at 02:29 AM

I haven't been able to sleep yet

falcon09 · Jul 21, 2019 at 02:47 AM

Still up. Watching public access tv, something about landing on the moon.

junkDNA · Jul 21, 2019 at 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I love autumn and winter. Snow, ice, freezing temps, all of it. Can't stand summer, and spring isn't much better

Everyone around here (where I live, NY) always complains about winter, it does get bitter cold sometimes, but I guess I'm the odd one because I'm the opposite and love it. People here are always moving south to get the sun. I don't understand it.

Me too 100% BB . Prefer winter over summer any day all day

Everyone here loves summer too. I hate it. The humidity makes it so much worse

I'm not equipped to be in the sun. I overheat easily and sweat a lot. The sun is so bright and hot it gives me sensory overload. Sometimes when I'm driving all I can think abt is getting inside away from this evil sun. I dont have AC in my car and the sun visor broke off on my driver's side so sometimes its sheer torture!!!!!!

I'm sure it's been getting over 100 degrees F inside my car. When I have to sit at long af redlights sometimes I'm scared i might pass out

Anyway yea ... brutal cold and snow is way easier to deal w for me

junkDNA · Jul 21, 2019 at 03:21 AM

I meant to tell u this before Desoxyn but be careful with that Phenibut .

There are many horror stories online about withdrawal.

junkDNA · Jul 21, 2019 at 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I couldn't make myself take my meds today...

My voices usually hone in on my meds . Like they dont let me take them. Sometimes I fall into the trap of believing them .

Truth is, they want me to be ill and stuck w them

They are liars

My therapist agreed I should get a tattoo ...

"They lie"

childofchaos831 · Jul 21, 2019 at 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

My voices usually hone in on my meds . Like they dont let me take them. Sometimes I fall into the trap of believing them .

Truth is, they want me to be ill and stuck w them

They are liars

My therapist agreed I should get a tattoo ...

"They lie"

It's because of the demons...

Possible trigger:

They are saying the meds are decaying my insides and turning me into one of them.

I don't want to believe them but it's so hard not to...

junkDNA · Jul 21, 2019 at 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

It's because of the demons...

Possible trigger:

They are saying the meds are decaying my insides and turning me into one of them.

I don't want to believe them but it's so hard not to...

I ended up on a high dose AP injection every 3 weeks for years bc of flushing my meds so much

So just b careful

childofchaos831 · Jul 21, 2019 at 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junkDNA

I ended up on a high dose AP injection every 3 weeks for years bc of flushing my meds so much

So just b careful

I'm worried about PHP on Monday. He asks about if we've taken our meds every day... I suck at lying and I don't really want to lie to him anyway.

junkDNA · Jul 21, 2019 at 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by childofchaos831

I'm worried about PHP on Monday. He asks about if we've taken our meds every day... I suck at lying and I don't really want to lie to him anyway.

I used to lie to my therapist all the time but he always knows I'm lying. It's not really something I can hide at all

newtus · Jul 21, 2019 at 04:14 AM

I cant sleep

newtus · Jul 21, 2019 at 04:14 AM

I just read a whole article and comments about why peer support specialists are slaves to the mental health system. It kinda saddened me but I do understand why they said that.

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Roll Call 151

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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jul 20, 2019 at 07:41 PM #241 This is my weather currently... __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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Anonymous40796 Guest Posts: n/a	Jul 20, 2019 at 07:55 PM #243 I don't think I had enough calories (500 calories) for my evening dosage of Geodon. When this happens it makes whirring noises in my head, like my hearing is going in and out. So this woul d basically be like withdrawal from Geodon. Anyone else get this? The only problem w/ Geodon I think, for me, is the short half life.
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Angelique67 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Oct 2014 Location: USA Posts: 22,115 (SuperPoster!) 9	Jul 20, 2019 at 08:07 PM #244 I look so awful I can't believe my friend stays with me. I wish I could go home. I want to watch Star Trek marathons everyday and order pizzas and burgers and fries and giant grinders. That would be heavenly. So stupid of me to have gotten into this mess.
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jul 21, 2019 at 12:32 AM #246 I couldn't make myself take my meds today... __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jul 21, 2019 at 12:37 AM #247 Tired....but I can't sleep.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,742 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 21, 2019 at 02:13 AM #249 Got 3 hours of sleep, can't get anymore __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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childofchaos831 Elder Member Since Nov 2016 Location: Texas Posts: 5,037 7 15 hugs given	Jul 21, 2019 at 02:29 AM #250 I haven't been able to sleep yet __________________ Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain
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falcon09 Grand Magnate Member Since Feb 2015 Location: United States Posts: 3,018 9 1,867 hugs given	Jul 21, 2019 at 02:47 AM #251 Still up. Watching public access tv, something about landing on the moon.
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junkDNA Comfy Sedation Member Since Sep 2012 Location: the woods Posts: 19,301 (SuperPoster!) 11 8,149 hugs given	Jul 21, 2019 at 03:21 AM #253 I meant to tell u this before Desoxyn but be careful with that Phenibut . There are many horror stories online about withdrawal. __________________
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jul 21, 2019 at 04:14 AM #259 I cant sleep __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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