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Old 08-24-2019, 08:35 PM   #691
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Default Re: Roll Call 152

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No it's not


Have you been eating?
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Old 08-24-2019, 08:38 PM   #692
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Default Re: Roll Call 152

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Have you been eating?
Yeah I have, it could be a side effect of one of my meds since I took my evening meds and hour ago
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Old 08-24-2019, 08:38 PM   #693
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Default Re: Roll Call 152

Desoxyn said I might not be bored, but instead, mentally exhausted. I think hes right.

Right now I feel like I just wanna hide away and be away from everyone. I napped 3 hours today. I didnt want to nap at all, but I just felt tired, and when I laid down I could feel my body getting lighter and relaxing, that's when I know I'm about to fall asleep. Cuz I'm usually a very tense person day to day.

This past week really kinda got me, and I might've not realized it.
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Old 08-24-2019, 10:43 PM   #694
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I know what to say. I'm not afraid of you. I look up to you. You're great!

Lately I've been trying to think of paranoia and psychosis as a puzzle. There's definitely a way (In your reality) to curve your thinking (Unless it's really intense and you need antipsychotics - Which you do). But still a puzzle it is. Some people just don't get psychosis and they do psychosis inducing drugs and such.

Me being me, I offer a different type of help to you guys.. The knowledge of chemicals and my own mental illness..

Those damn antipsychotic chemicals. They go into our brains and slow down our thoughts. It's what we need.

Recently I've been on the edge of cannabis induced psychosis. Why? I'm an extremely curious person. My mom says that I'm "sick" and don't have insight to the chemicals.. maybe I don't.. I don't know for sure..

But I'm on an antipsychotic. So trust the meds. Make sure it's a sedating med. You need to feel sleepy during the initial phase of recovery from acute psychosis so you feel safer and more relaxed. Some benzos can help but not too much of them.

If you don't feel safe, that sucks.. But you're a really intelligent cookie. Psychosis comes to smart people for some reason. It's like analysing the hell out of everything to the point of error, like an AI. When an AI runs the world, what if it gets psychosis because it's emotions get in the way?

Who knows all these things. We're humans.. Understanding this really bizarre stage of our reincarnations. We're like light bulbs that turn off.. and when we do, we're lost, alone, confused..

We don't know for sure. There's no way of knowing. Yin Yang. The good can't be without the bad and the bad can't be without the good. It's a cosmic game and being awakened as you mention is actually a good thing. People need spirituality to get through everything. Spirituality isn't psychosis or sanity. It's a different thing that is good. No one is in control. Maybe there's no free will but you can make free will for yourself and transcend. Know that you are loved and many people are also suffering. Knowledge is key, awareness, adaptivity, building skills and relaxation.
Thank you, Desoxyn. Yeah, I donít think Iím sick. Feeling good at the moment. But maybe Iíll just go with the flow. Let the Universe handle things for me. I am pagan. I believe in that and the goddesses. Particularly the moon goddess. Perhaps she will visit me, weíll see. I can ask her.

I donít want to be sedated though. It is worse than anything for me. I feel useless cause I canít do anything. People insist I need them, but I guess Iíll play along to everyoneís game.

The spirits were saying to follow and talk to the nurses for enlightenment. They were confused. Oh well, lol.
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Old 08-24-2019, 11:25 PM   #695
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Default Re: Roll Call 152

"Cognitive fatigue is most commonly induced under the influence of moderate dosages of antipsychotic compounds, such as quetiapine, haloperidol, and risperidone. However, it can also occur during the withdrawal symptoms of many depressants, and during the offset of many stimulants."

Ok so antipsychotics, withdrawal from gaba depressant and vyvanse wearing off.. I have all three things. No wonder I keep moving around and can't sit still or focus and pay attention. God forbid I try to watch something on Netflix. Cant do that..

And I took my last nicotine gum today. I'm not going to use nicotine anymore but I'm craving.

Im a mess.
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Old 08-25-2019, 03:15 AM   #696
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Default Re: Roll Call 152

Just walked 2 the gas station across the highway at 4am cuz I realized my car has a flat tire

Guess I'll b walking to work as well

Just what I need . Its honestly laughable at this point .
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Old 08-25-2019, 03:26 AM   #697
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Just walked 2 the gas station across the highway at 4am cuz I realized my car has a flat tire

Guess I'll b walking to work as well

Just what I need . Its honestly laughable at this point .
Oh no! Do you not have a spare tire?
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Old 08-25-2019, 03:27 AM   #698
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Oh no! Do you not have a spare tire?
I'm not totally sure but I think I might

But I'd have to get all the heavy boxes out of my trunk to access it

Idk
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Old 08-25-2019, 03:47 AM   #699
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I'm not totally sure but I think I might

But I'd have to get all the heavy boxes out of my trunk to access it

Idk
Gotcha... Ya, I have a ton of crap in my trunk too...
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Old 08-25-2019, 03:55 AM   #700
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Gotcha... Ya, I have a ton of crap in my trunk too...
I dont even know how to change it
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