Roll Call 153

I just followed your blog @Blue_Bird
Mine is childofchaos.blog

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

Cool, thanks! I'll follow you back

Thanks!!!

Diagnoses:
PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain

I’m not sure thats a good idea.....what if the case manager finds out you talked to the boss.? Best not to rock the boat, work relationships are tricky.

It’s fall and I love cider and donuts.....but at the grocery they have like 12 packs, I avoided getting 12 and just got two at dunkin today, I’m calling it a win.

I've been meaning to get some apple cider and apple cider donuts, I probably will in October

This is the third week I’ve got cider, first week for the donuts....

I had a really good T session last night. She took my suicidal thoughts seriously. We had previously had a pact where if I was going to commit suicide I had to call her first. She upped the ante and said not only did I have to call her but we had to meet and she had to give her approval. Yeah, I seriously doubt she'll give her approval, but I figure if I do the first two, then I am doing all I can do. She said she would be upset (or something) if I were to commit suicide and it was the first time I ever really felt cared about by her. I am still feeling some of that caring today. It's kind of nice. We talked about angels and demons and some of my hallucinations. She didn't have much to say about that except that maybe I was tuned into a world that is between this one and the next one (not sure I believe that as it doesn't jive with my religious beliefs, but I just let her talk). She wants to know what causes the suicidal thoughts. Beyond this unrelenting depression, IDK. My PDOC doesn't know either. They just happen for me. I feel a little more hope today. I also told a coworker in the NY office (I'm in CA) that I'm struggling with depression and that's why my focus hasn't been so good. She was really great about it. She told me not to be hard on myself and that she would never judge me for that, and the couple of details that I missed on some stuff we can fix and that she would help me. I feel good about all of that. I'm on a learning curve and doubtless there will be some things that I am going to miss, but I tend to be hard on myself. I was able to tell my coworker on email too so that helped. She was really gracious about it and she told me I'm doing a good job which made me feel better. I am feeling a tiny bit better today. I think it was the T session more than the supplements. I'm really tired though because I took some anti-anxiety medication this morning because my anxiety at work went sky high. I wasn't anxious until I got to work and then I was super anxious. But now I'm to the part where I'm just tired and sleepy. I'm getting my work done today but I'm also trying to relax and not just be putting out fires but actually doing what I need to get done. I'm glad my T took me seriously. And I see her next week so I am glad it is not a long time between visits. Usually it is two or three weeks, but this time it was back to back and I'm pleased about that. It's nice to have a little breathing room today where I'm not being pounded by the suicidal thoughts. I was pretty blunt with her last night and so I think that helped her to take me seriously. HUGS to all, Kit

Using my Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life workbook.
I'm working on my agoraphobic tendencies which have flared up recently, and getting mobilized (adding different types of activities to my day)

I have no thoughts right now. Slow mind.

She never asked, so I never told.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Contemplating bear contemplates....

Love it, SP! Really good!

Thanks slumberkitty!

Saw my doc today.

Told him about being paranoid.

He's adding 5mg of Haldol to my med regimen, instead of going back up on the zyprexa.

Also my lab results came back and I have some insulin resistance and high cholesterol, got prescribed lipitor and metformin.

I just got an email telling me I'm so incredibly loved. I needed that.

That’s awesome!

I was feeling anxious so I relaxed and held onto my stuffed llama, watched a few episodes of south park. Now I just took a shower. feeling much better

I'm on a 6 day streak with Italian on duolingo, it's coming more naturally since I've been studying it on and off for a few years and the college course I took on it. I'm hoping to keep up with studying it, long term and consistently now.

Looking into things that help improve memory. Eggs do, so I've been eating those (not fried of course, scrambled without oil) and music (especially instrumental), art, learning languages, learning in general, exercise, taking walks, getting good sleep. I'm doing all that and it's all helping

SP can you get me the info of how to submit the art I did to madinamerica, for some reason my computer isn't loading the site so I don't know how to go about submitting it