Roll Call 156

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

When I lower my antipsychotic, I have to do it slowly because the withdrawal can cause psychosis and depending on how long and severe it is, it could make everything worse. If I lower it slowly and the psychosis never stops, then it's confirmed that I have schizophrenia which would make it worth taking the antipsychotic.

But then they'll change my diagnosis to half-autism (PDD-NOS) if I don't get psychosis and take me off disability. Then I'll work full time and if I don't get psychosis due to stress (Which can increase OCD related to half-autism), depression and trauma (Cured by my good psychedelic trips and made a bit worse by my bad psychedelic trips) then that's great but if I do get psychosis, then it will be changed to autism with psychosis due to stress and then I'll be put back on disability but it could take years. But before that, they'll want to put me on antipsychotics again and I don't want that. The brain can only take so much psychosis before it breaks. My negative symptoms were caused by government and society conditioning and hopefully the rest will be gone if I'm on lower antipsychotic and gives me the strength to work full time again.

I was supposed to wait until I'm 25 to stop the antipsychotic because then my brain will have mostly developed but I'm 23 now but don't want to risk brain damage from the antipsychotic until then. It's like a catch 22 and complicated.

I just don't want to work right now because I want to spend time with my mom because she has cancer. Then if she dies soon, I'll be so emotionally damaged which is why I'm trying my best to prepare for my future. I wouldn't be able to work with my mental illness without her and she's my caregiver.

I hate this. The only solution is to lower the invega injection to 100-50mg and keep my disability because it's less of a risk that I'll get psychosis if I stay on a lower dose of antipsychotic until I'm 25 (I think I figured it out..)

For me I probably would have been on a lower dose of AP had I not tried to go off completely....like maybe 2.5mg...I was stable on that a long time. Sometimes low is better than zero.

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:24 PM

Ok one more post.....I’m not sure if it will convert right away it’s been so long since I changed titles.

Desoxyn · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:27 PM

Nvm what I wrote was meaningless. My therapist is just saying that I'm doubting the schizophrenia diagnosis and I'm not. I'm saying I also have a very light form of autism. That doesnt mean that i need to be on all or nothing high dose of antipsychotic or nothing. I just need to lower the dose like SP and stay on that dose to prevent further psychosis. I should have known this years ago. The abilify wasnt working for me so she put me on the max dose of invega. That's not my fault.

My psychiatrist only did that because I was having derealization and depersonalization which I never knew would cause panic attacks and I thought it was psychosis because it reminded me of the bad trip which was different than my psychosis I had at 16 (A meth like psychosis with paranoia)

Idk

Desoxyn · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

For me I probably would have been on a lower dose of AP had I not tried to go off completely....like maybe 2.5mg...I was stable on that a long time. Sometimes low is better than zero.

Yeah that reminds me that I forgot the fact that I could be fine and then get psychosis a year or more later.

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Yeah that reminds me that I forgot the fact that I could be fine and then get psychosis a year or more later.

It took me 9 months to relapse on no AP....problem is in the kindling theory each episode makes your brain worse so it’s often not worth the risk.

SlumberKitty · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:35 PM

I was struggling a lot this morning and earlier this afternoon. I'm feeling a tad bit better now. I got a nice email from my boss so that was kind of nice. And only one hour left of work and then it is the weekend!

Nov 08, 2019 at 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I have the same problem lol I only keep them around on rare or special occasions.
It's driving me crazy having them here and not being able to bake the cookies yet. I find baking so relaxing

How come men in general never feel the urge to bake?

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

I was struggling a lot this morning and earlier this afternoon. I'm feeling a tad bit better now. I got a nice email from my boss so that was kind of nice. And only one hour left of work and then it is the weekend!

I was thinking you work really late but then time zones lol 😂

Nov 08, 2019 at 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

You've always been a legendary wise elder to me! @Sometimes psychotic

I agree with this response.

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

How come men in general never feel the urge to bake?

A lot of pastry chefs are men....maybe they just see it as work not play?

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Day Tripper

I agree with this response.

Aww thanks DT, but feel free to retract after I forgot about time zones lol.

SlumberKitty · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I was thinking you work really late but then time zones lol 😂

Yeah, I generally work 8 AM to 4:30 PM. Sometimes I work 7 AM to 4:30 PM or 6:30 AM to 4:30 PM. It's a pretty good schedule really. When I worked retail my schedule was all over the place. Some days I might not get off work until 2 AM and other times I was going to work at 6 AM. I'll take this cushy accounting hours any day. One of my bosses today was saying that they think they will put me to salary after the new year. Not sure if that is good or bad.

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Yeah, I generally work 8 AM to 4:30 PM. Sometimes I work 7 AM to 4:30 PM or 6:30 AM to 4:30 PM. It's a pretty good schedule really. When I worked retail my schedule was all over the place. Some days I might not get off work until 2 AM and other times I was going to work at 6 AM. I'll take this cushy accounting hours any day. One of my bosses today was saying that they think they will put me to salary after the new year. Not sure if that is good or bad.

Salary is generally good unless you’re getting overtime now.

Nov 08, 2019 at 06:52 PM

I'm over 50% done with the second part of my series, but I'm thinking of maybe setting that aside and maybe work on a novel that's more story and less like an anthology of historical thoughts and movements. I'll have to think this through this weekend and brain storm for a while.

Blue_Bird · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Thanks @Blue_Bird

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

It took me 9 months to relapse on no AP....problem is in the kindling theory each episode makes your brain worse so it’s often not worth the risk.

I was off APs for a year, just on mood stabilizer and ADs. I didn't think I'd ever need them again but then things started getting bad again and had a major episode this spring. Now I'm doing well on the ones I'm on

Blue_Bird · Nov 08, 2019 at 06:59 PM

Didn't mean to multiquote

cogladaid · Nov 08, 2019 at 07:07 PM

I was off meds completely for about two years before I started to have psychosis again. My moods were pretty stable until they weren’t.

Erti · Nov 08, 2019 at 07:28 PM

Not feeling the best right now...

Desoxyn · Nov 08, 2019 at 07:33 PM

All three of you. That is so not good news :/

Sometimes psychotic · Nov 08, 2019 at 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Not feeling the best right now...

Was wondering how you were doing.....

What’s going on?

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Roll Call 156

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Sometimes psychotic Legendary Wise Elder Member Since May 2013 Location: Chicago Posts: 26,409 (SuperPoster!) 10 22.8k hugs given	Nov 08, 2019 at 06:24 PM #22 Ok one more post.....I’m not sure if it will convert right away it’s been so long since I changed titles. __________________ Hugs!
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SlumberKitty Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jul 2018 Location: CA Posts: 27,329 (SuperPoster!) 5 117.7k hugs given	Nov 08, 2019 at 06:35 PM #26 I was struggling a lot this morning and earlier this afternoon. I'm feeling a tad bit better now. I got a nice email from my boss so that was kind of nice. And only one hour left of work and then it is the weekend! __________________ Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA
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Anonymous40796 Guest Posts: n/a	Nov 08, 2019 at 06:52 PM #34 I'm over 50% done with the second part of my series, but I'm thinking of maybe setting that aside and maybe work on a novel that's more story and less like an anthology of historical thoughts and movements. I'll have to think this through this weekend and brain storm for a while.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,724 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Nov 08, 2019 at 06:59 PM #36 Didn't mean to multiquote __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Nov 08, 2019 at 07:07 PM #37 I was off meds completely for about two years before I started to have psychosis again. My moods were pretty stable until they weren’t.
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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Nov 08, 2019 at 07:28 PM #38 Not feeling the best right now...
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	Nov 08, 2019 at 07:33 PM #39 All three of you. That is so not good news :/
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