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Bookworm257
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Bookworm257 "I don't need therapy I'm just mentally ill" -Tracy Jordan
 
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Question Nov 26, 2019 at 03:23 PM
  #1
Hi. This is an issue I no longer deal with, but I want to know if I was suffering from delusions in middle school.
A few years ago, I had my first (potentially second, but first major) episode of depression. It was awful- I was in constant anguish, crying myself to sleep, thinking I was a burden on everyone, stopped doing almost all schoolwork, argued frequently with my dad/ was irritable, woke up wishing I hadn't, and had su!c!d@l thoughts, and all of that.
But I'm wondering if I also suffered from delusions/psychosis. My dad and I had a relationship strain because of my mental health. I was doing and saying crazy things that Iam embarassed to have done now. My thoughts were so distorted, and I was not myself at all. I hated EVERYONE, called them "sheep", etc. My "delusions", if that's what they were, were:
Thinking that I had a "psychic connection" to my mother (whom I haven't seen since I was little), like that she was psychically sending messages to me that she was dead, or that she missed me.
I also thought that other people in my class (only the boys, strangely) could read my mind. I had to monitor my thoughts constantly to make sure I wasn't thinking anything embarassing, gross, or otherwise "judge-able" (lack of better term). This is actually something that began in 6th grade. If I thought something about a boy in my class I would get paranoid that he heard what I said psychically.
Last, I had a selusion of suffering from a condition I wasn't. I thought I had a speech impediment; I've never had one at all.
I kept most of these delusions to myself- I told no one that I thought people could read my mind or that I thought I had a cosmic psychic connection to my estranged mother, but I told people about the speech impediment one.
I no longer suffer from these thoughts, but do you think I was delusional/psychotic?
I was pretty crazy back then. It wasn't my first battle with mental health issues but it was definitely my worst.
Thank you for listening, sorry for rambling.
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Default Nov 26, 2019 at 03:29 PM
  #2
We can’t diagnose you here...one thing is that the younger you are the more likely you can have sort of magical thoughts that go away with age and it’s considered to be normal.

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Bookworm257
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Bookworm257 "I don't need therapy I'm just mentally ill" -Tracy Jordan
 
Member Since: Jun 2017
Location: Oregon
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Default Nov 26, 2019 at 05:29 PM
  #3
yeah but
i was 14
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Default Nov 26, 2019 at 05:59 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bookworm257 View Post
yeah but
i was 14
It’s hard to tell without consulting a professional tbh. Some things like hearing voices have been found in a substantial number of teens and they just grow out of it. I believe it’s like 17%. This is much higher than the percentage of people with psychosis. Is it true psychosis or just a phase of growth the way that it’s normal for a kid to believe in Santa? At any rate I wouldn’t be quick to label yourself as anything.....worry about it if it happens again....then see a psychiatrist....

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