Roll Call 158!

Lol I ran into the apple store after getting my sister a gift card for make up. They said "well hello!" I'm like "hello! "

Then I started looking at iPhone 11.. "do you have any questions??" "No I'm just looking! It's cool!!!" "=]" (they smile)

Now I'm walking around the mall while typing this...

But can you believe I've come out of my shell so much that that's me everyday, everywhere? Yep!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

We are healed schizo

Meanwhile I’m that one friend that never shuts up ... lol.

Pretty lazy day I've had...

Getting frustrated/disgusted and obsessive about my body again... trying not to think ED thoughts. Just need to remember it's going on 9 months of recovery

Not a whole lot going on this weekend. Going to the evening mass tomorrow. Also mailing out a few Christmas cards.

I slept over 16 hours since 8pm last night

Just saw that metformin was being investigated for possible carcinogenic properties, I'm on metformin so thats a bit scary.

My understanding is the levels of the carcinogen present are equivalent to that in food and water......this was triggered by some other countries recalling the med but what the other county found would be allowable levels in the US.

Sounds like she was trying to flirt with you.

I would have never thought of that.

Similar experience for me now. I was so sensitive that it was excruciating to get into a social setting because I would always think this and that about what I should talk about, am I funny, am I coming off weird, will I make them feel awkward, what's appropriate. Being that type of introvert was just emotionally exhausting.

Then I was put on an SSRI and zap, I could barely feel any emotion at all. Now im the most social guy at my work. I've got a million questions for everyone, "tell me something about yourself that I wouldn't know" has become my favorite around work. Dinner, plans, last evening, how do you express your creativity, I've got questions all day, and it's me getting to know people is a pleasure now.

Psychology taught me that "personality" is a trait that is constant. But I've completely changed. Everything about me has changed. I'm more assertive, more confident, more curious, yet I still don't like to go out because I get my social fill with my friends at work. So, besides work, I'm a recluse, except for the occasional theater trip with my theater buddy I work with. I literally can't feel lonely. At all. When my cat passed away... I miss her... but I don't have a cat, and I did start to date but that was just not working at all.

Online dating, at my age, is crazy. I still can't believe a SOCIALOGY professor tried to rank how successful I am (how much money I make.) That just floored me. I wasn't prepared for that at all. She read my reaction as I tilted my head and leaned back in my chair.

It sounds like we're in a similar place with weight loss. If I did as good of a job for 5 weeks and only lost 2 pounds, that's hell. I can't survive without candy. It gets me through the damned day.

Maybe I should explain because I did so badly. If an item was on my dinner tray, it didn't count. So I ate desserts without really estimating the calories. So I could eat two large cookies in a day and I wouldn't count them. Same with ice cream, sherbet, etc. The only foods I counted were some of the candy and snacks after dinner. It gives me a rough idea of how I'm doing but I should examine everything, especially desserts. I get really hungry at night though.

I find drinking black coffee helps me with my junk food cravings for some reason, since I love coffee and without the sugar and creamer there's not a bunch of calories. Drinking water too. I understand though, I have horrible cravings for junk food almost constantly, especially desserts, I have a major sweet tooth.

Going to talk to my case manager about supportive employment. If not for now then at least for after I move. I'm losing my mind just trying to pass the time everyday, feel like I'm just existing, living with no purpose.

When are you starting school again?

not until the fall. I have a balance on my account I need to pay off before I can take classes again. I'll be able to pay it off easier once I'm in the new place because my rent will be a lot cheaper and I'll have more money to spare

Oh then working is the perfect thing for you

Oh wow, I could make my own coffee here! All I need is a one or two cup maker and a few different coffees (I'd need decaf for afternoon and evening). Thank you for the idea!!

I start school January 14th. I might take 1 less class. I signed up for 3 but I was under the impression it was a full 16 weeks. But its 8 weeks for a class at ASU.

I told my coworker I just couldnt see myself getting a degree in psychology. I had to be honest because everyone keeps asking me. Shes finishing up her PhD for the mental health field. I think I may do digital marketing. But I want to write. I figure I'll market my writing I guess idk. Idk. Idk. Idk.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII