Roll Call 159!

I'm praying my lozenges come soon. They might not come until the 22nd or something. I went out to vape at 4, but my tank is still leaking and I don't know how to fix it. Plus, I've been coughing for hours again. Thank God I bought those menthol disposables. They help a lot.

My right ear is so plugged I can barely hear YouTube

Good morning everybody

So I'm dealing with the news about my friend pretty well: I feel less shocked and less numb. It just never occurred to me that she would really go through with it.

I am doing better with my Zyprexa side effects (increased appetite, sleeping in late) and seem to have this under control now. I was worried that the news about my friend would trigger these and make them worse but I'm doing okay.

This morning A Beautiful Mind was on and I caught the last half of it. I've seen it before and I've also read the book and really recommend it to anyone whose got a psychosis disorder. John Nash was an extraordinary man and he is a great example of what someone can accomplish despite severe psychotic mental illness.

I hope everyone here is hanging in there today.

hugs, Ceara

Hi everyone. Hope everyone is doing good today. I'm at work, but I'm bored. =/ Bleh. So my health insurance has this free service (well it probably isn't technically free since I pay premiums and stuff, but it doesn't cost any extra). It's called Shield Support (I think). I have Blue Shield of CA. Anyway, I had my first call yesterday with the lady they assigned to me. She's a nurse. She isn't there to replace my therapist or my psychiatrist but is there to help with resources and meeting goals and stuff. We kind of had an intake (or partial intake) yesterday, and then next week when she calls me we are going to have another intake (like go over meds and stuff like that) and I have to tell her my goals. Ummm. Get better? IDK about how to set up goals for myself. So I don't really know how that part is going to work. IDK if this will be helpful or not but since it doesn't cost me anything extra I figured why not? Anyone else do something like this? She seemed really interested in my hallucinations and my sui attempts and the fact that I work full time. I didn't tell her about SH though. Maybe next time. I hope this will be helpful but it's also a bit anxiety provoking for some reason. Weird, IDK. Not too sure how I feel today. I was anxious before work, but I seemed to have calmed down, maybe because I don't have too much to do right now. My sister texted and her two year old has Influenza B which I hear is really bad for children. I told my sister to be very careful with her. I'm kind of nervous about that. Hugs to everyone who wants one! Kit

@Ceara1010--I've seen a Beautiful Mind--I've not read the book but I thought the movie was fantastic.

Blehhh.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

School has started yay!

Hope you have a great start to school @Sometimes psychotic

I think I'm gonna start writing in my blog 2 days a week. I've been doing it every Monday, but I feel like it's not enough. So maybe friday too.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Enjoy it!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I've been updating it every day. I make memory blogs. I don't really care if anyone reads them. The unimportant ones I don't categorize.

I don't really remember what happened yesterday much. I was so sedated and didn't write it down yesterday. I tried to today.

But feeling better now which is why I posted a Pheonix for January 15th.

I'm reading!!

Ok I'll just get off of here and read.. I have FOMO for like 10 different things..

Have been busy sorting through my stuff, getting rid of things and whatnot. Donated a bunch of books. Still have a TON more to donate but I'll take them over once a day a bag at a time. Got rid of 5 large trash bags filled with other stuff I no longer wanted or could justify keeping. Just keeping things simple

Spending quality time with Kitten since she's sick

Hope school goes well for you newtus and SP

So when the brain is more active, it decreases connectivity in the brain. When you do nothing, you're more creative and have more "Aha" moments. A lot of scientists found discoveries while bedridden or while doing nothing. When the brain is under an MRI scan, it is more active than when being shown a movie or something.

That's why I now believe that antipsychotics prevent lowered IQ from psychosis because psychosis makes the brain more active about nonsense things and being busy with stress. Stress kills. I think stress is the biggest cause of illness.

A neuron doesn't know that it's apart of the brain like how an ant doesn't know it's apart of a colony or a person doesn't know everything about society or an economy.

That's why I was talking about those "Scientific discoveries" I had while hiking, looking at nature and being inside my own head. That's why meditation is so important.

I used to sleep so long and do nothing when I was a teenager due to antipsychotics. Maybe that was a good thing for me and my psychosis.

I can't sleep a lot on work days (I try to get 7 hours, 6 sometimes, 8 preferably) but I try to get extra sleep on the weekends. I sleep in a little (I get up at 4:30 AM approx. on work days, so I try to sleep till 6:30 AM or 7 AM on the weekends, and then I try to take a two hour nap on Saturdays and Sundays. I don't know if it is the depression, or what but I always feel like I need more sleep.

Like right now I am tired. I am also feeling depressed. It's kind of a horrible feeling creeping up through my body. I want to but I'm at work. Not that, that always stops me, but yeah.

My NP is not at my pdoc place anymore. So a new one. Ugh...

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

@SlumberKitty

This seems to be a cosmic depression for a lot of people in the world. Last week for me was terrible. Something to do with the planets.

Oh man I needed a vaccine for school but there was an outbreak of whooping cough making it impossible to find the vaccine....i went to three different pharmacies and finally got it.