Roll Call 160!

Erti · Jan 30, 2020 at 09:30 PM

I just want to feel ok for once. No thinking about death. Not thinking about hurting myself to satisfy the demons I see every ****ing day. I wanna feel like I’m not on the verge of insanity with abandonment issues and thinking people are out to get me personally.

Blue_Bird · Jan 30, 2020 at 09:31 PM

I’ll post pics of the new place tomorrow

newtus · Jan 30, 2020 at 09:39 PM

Just did my tax returns by myself.

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 30, 2020 at 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

Just did my tax returns by myself.

Did you already get w4s?

newtus · Jan 30, 2020 at 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Did you already get w4s?

W4s? No I didnt. But i got w2s

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 30, 2020 at 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

W4s? No I didnt. But i got w2s

Oh sorry two is right...I’m just surprised you got them so early.....

Desoxyn · Jan 30, 2020 at 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Sorry to hear desoxyn....I’ll check out your blog later on.....

I wrote some about it but it seems too personal.. But it's crazy.. Me disowning my dad for 5 seconds.. Crazy psychotic message, my mom flushing her friends coke down the toilet while we all watch.. , skiing, agh.. idk.. I'm done.

I'm not taking Seroquel tonight because it gives me heart palpitations before I fall asleep. My mom said not to take it so I took 1.5mg xanax and I still couldn't sleep and then I realize "It's 8pm".. I usually go to sleep at 12am.. So yeah..

Also, about the high CBD dose, Idk If I can take more than 100mg CBD.. 100mg is my max cuz it's too muscle relaxing..

I'm gonna have to see my doctor about the seroquel. Too many people die of sudden death when they take Seroquel as a sleep med.. I'll have to lower the Vyvanse to 30mg and maybe take zopiclone or something every night or Valium and then slowly decrease..

I just need to be positive.. I've been thinking the worst is going to happen to me and my mom but I must be positive.. that's the only way..

Desoxyn · Jan 30, 2020 at 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

That's interesting. I was just thinking, youd think people who are on edge would want to calm down, and people who are always relaxed need something to spruce them up. Which is why people do drugs I guess.

Tweaky relaxed soul and need stimulants ;D

Desoxyn · Jan 31, 2020 at 12:41 AM

I'm just gonna try and be positive for the next rest of my life. Life is short and we need to enjoy it. Never give up. Keep struggling until you solve the puzzle. It's a big complicated puzzle. Even for people with 500 IQ. You can't know everything and if you think you do then you're fool! Love, dream, laugh.. Life is but a dream. We will all meet each other one day in afterlife because we reincarnate into everything possible which is the max (I'm calling God "Max" from now on - Maximum) trying to experience itself before it goes back to nothing and then BOOM, it happens all again...

Desoxyn · Jan 31, 2020 at 12:51 AM

You just think the cycle of reincarnation goes on and on and on and then you just give up and think "Holy ****.. this thing goes on forever and ever for eternity" and then your last piece of reincarnation dies and that's when infinity ends. But it's a real ride. I become you, you become me, we become each other..

But it's all nonsense. This is the real reality. Antipsychotics are like grounding tools.. But once you know, you can't, un... know...

SlumberKitty · Jan 31, 2020 at 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

Has anyone heard from @SlumberKitty

Sorry guys. I've been inpatient. I just got out yesterday. I didn't have access to my cell phone or internet so I couldn't let anyone know where I was or how I was doing. Will try to catch up on roll call soon. Hugs!! Kit

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 31, 2020 at 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Sorry guys. I've been inpatient. I just got out yesterday. I didn't have access to my cell phone or internet so I couldn't let anyone know where I was or how I was doing. Will try to catch up on roll call soon. Hugs!! Kit

I’m glad you’re OK SK....

Angelique67 · Jan 31, 2020 at 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Sorry guys. I've been inpatient. I just got out yesterday. I didn't have access to my cell phone or internet so I couldn't let anyone know where I was or how I was doing. Will try to catch up on roll call soon. Hugs!! Kit

I'm so glad you posted! I was so worried.

Blue_Bird · Jan 31, 2020 at 11:53 AM

Glad you're okay SK !

Blue_Bird · Jan 31, 2020 at 11:54 AM

I got the new apartment! Got the keys. Just came back to the old place then bringing some stuff to the new place in an hour or so when my care manager picks me up again

Sometimes psychotic · Jan 31, 2020 at 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I got the new apartment! Got the keys. Just came back to the old place then bringing some stuff to the new place in an hour or so when my care manager picks me up again

Awesome bluebird!

Blue_Bird · Jan 31, 2020 at 02:21 PM

Going to Burger King tonight with my friend to celebrate 😃

Desoxyn · Jan 31, 2020 at 02:23 PM

I talked for an hour straight and my therapist listened. It was like a podcast in fast forward with just me talking really fast lol

12AM · Jan 31, 2020 at 02:44 PM

Had panic attack.

Desoxyn · Jan 31, 2020 at 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12AM

Had panic attack.

A Buddhist monk once had panic attacks when he was a child. His father said, "Give in to the panic attack" and now the monk is experienced and says "panic attack is my friend.. then it went away"

You are close to Japan. Japan is benzo nation.

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Roll Call 160!

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Erti Princess Tutu Member Since Jun 2011 Location: Nowhere Posts: 7,912 12 2,894 hugs given	Jan 30, 2020 at 09:30 PM #401 I just want to feel ok for once. No thinking about death. Not thinking about hurting myself to satisfy the demons I see every ****ing day. I wanna feel like I’m not on the verge of insanity with abandonment issues and thinking people are out to get me personally.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,724 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jan 30, 2020 at 09:31 PM #402 I’ll post pics of the new place tomorrow __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jan 30, 2020 at 09:39 PM #403 Just did my tax returns by myself. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,724 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jan 31, 2020 at 11:53 AM #414 Glad you're okay SK ! __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,724 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jan 31, 2020 at 02:21 PM #417 Going to Burger King tonight with my friend to celebrate 😃 __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	Jan 31, 2020 at 02:23 PM #418 I talked for an hour straight and my therapist listened. It was like a podcast in fast forward with just me talking really fast lol
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12AM Seeker of Life Member Since Oct 2015 Location: Silver Town of Argyra Posts: 4,786 8 5,508 hugs given	Jan 31, 2020 at 02:44 PM #419 Had panic attack. __________________ One day I’ll leave my 6 flowers and millions of butterflies 🌹🦋
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