But I'm afraid...

catchme · Feb 24, 2020 at 04:35 AM

Hello everyone,

I'm schizophrenic. I may soon be entering a career program at a local college. What's more, it would be (mostly) free.

This is terrifying because:
1) I don't know if I'll be able to handle the mental strain of school again.
2) If I fail, I won't get another chance like this.

It's also exhilarating because:
1) If I'm able to complete the program, I'll be able to support myself for the first time in my life.
2) It would be a career I would genuinely enjoy.

I'm in a relatively stable place in life. I'm still poor, but my physical needs are met and the storm in my brain seems to have weakened. But I've never accomplished anything I'm proud of, and have come to doubt my ability to do so. I feel like the kid at the top of the slide holding up the other kids because she's afraid to go down.

Sometimes psychotic · Feb 24, 2020 at 12:16 PM

So i don’t have sz but have bipolar with psychosis.....I was having trouble with my cognition so I lost a lot of self confidence....I had to do things stepwise....I started learning some basic IT courses online, the A+ and google IT support professional courses....this helped me grow my confidence that I could still go back to school. Importantly I started taking fish oil which really helped my focus and concentration.....I was terrified to go back to school. Just started this January, and everything seems to be going great so far, knock on wood. So why not try some online courses first like through coursera or udemy etc. if you have any sort of cognitive issues at all I would highly recommend fish oil, it really helps. You can do it 😀

SlumberKitty · Feb 24, 2020 at 02:30 PM

Hi, I'm schizoaffective--depressed type. It was recently changed from depression with psychotic features. I was able to get through my schooling--I have an MBA--but I had to take it slower than maybe other students did. For example, when getting my master's I only took one class at a time, so it took me 4 years instead of 2. I hope you can find something that works for you. HUGS Kit

catchme · Feb 24, 2020 at 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

So i don’t have sz but have bipolar with psychosis.....I was having trouble with my cognition so I lost a lot of self confidence....I had to do things stepwise....I started learning some basic IT courses online, the A+ and google IT support professional courses....this helped me grow my confidence that I could still go back to school. Importantly I started taking fish oil which really helped my focus and concentration.....I was terrified to go back to school. Just started this January, and everything seems to be going great so far, knock on wood. So why not try some online courses first like through coursera or udemy etc. if you have any sort of cognitive issues at all I would highly recommend fish oil, it really helps. You can do it 😀

I thank you for these kind words of encouragement, and for the suggestions of sites to take online courses! That is so smart! I will definitely look into the fish oil, as I do struggle with brain fog and concentration difficulties. It's reassuring that you are succeeding in school despite serious mental illness. Proof it can be done!

catchme · Feb 24, 2020 at 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi, I'm schizoaffective--depressed type. It was recently changed from depression with psychotic features. I was able to get through my schooling--I have an MBA--but I had to take it slower than maybe other students did. For example, when getting my master's I only took one class at a time, so it took me 4 years instead of 2. I hope you can find something that works for you. HUGS Kit

Sometimes I forget that slow and steady is an option lol. I tend to think if I'm not doing something on the highest difficulty, then I'm failing. But that's not true at all. You earned a Master's degree despite a serious illness! That's inspiring!

BlueCat214 · Feb 29, 2020 at 05:46 PM

One way to think about it is that most career programs at local colleges really WANT you to succeed. They will try to help you and support you, so that you are successful. It boosts their statistics, so its in their best interest to help you achieve your goals. I'm sure you will do great! Just do you best, and keep trying. Kudos to you for getting started.

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BlueCat214 New Member Member Since Feb 2020 Location: Asheville, North Carolina Posts: 6 4 5 hugs given	Feb 29, 2020 at 05:46 PM #6 One way to think about it is that most career programs at local colleges really WANT you to succeed. They will try to help you and support you, so that you are successful. It boosts their statistics, so its in their best interest to help you achieve your goals. I'm sure you will do great! Just do you best, and keep trying. Kudos to you for getting started.
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