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Old Today, 03:04 PM   #601
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

I'm having writer's block again. The only thing that fixe that is research and jogging down ideas with my pen. It's really tough to understand that subconscious with metaphors, to make the heroes journey within a dream, especially when there is only one character left in the cosmos. Maybe I was too ambitious. I can't get past 11 pages. I read some Jung, but his books are enigmatic, with terms that are just glossed over and not thoroughly analyzed. I think I have a book idea from my textbook on personalities that may be of use.
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Old Today, 03:42 PM   #602
Erti
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

I wish I believed in karma
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Old Today, 03:50 PM   #603
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

I'm starting to freak out about my sleep-wake cycle and researching everything about decreased muscle sympathetic nerve activity (What ever that means), blood pressure, heart rate, everything about sleep... I'm freaking out..

Why are they pressuring me so much about the zopiclone? My mom takes a benzo every night to sleep and has been for 2-3 years..

What if it stops working? Why do other sleep pills make my heart beat weird? Have I caused damage with stimulant abuse? Then why do my ECG's come up as normal? Why couldn't I breathe last night?

I'm freaking out.. and my mom isn't getting sleep and she's stressed AF!

I don't think I'm going to live long... I think I'm cured of schizophrenia.. Almost... And the soldiers.. Why did they say those things? I was in a different realm in the camera chat... No one says those things to me in real life...

I try to learn to meditate idk I just keep thinking and it's all garbage.. I need to keep my mind off of the insanity but they need to leave me alone about the zopiclone.. I don't have time to change my sleep for 3 months and then it will work... Idk why they are judging me about my sleep...

I've had sleep problems since I was 16-17.. it's been years now.. I never got a sleep test... Why? They gave me a stimulant... What about the clonazepam overdose? I keep thinking about all the what the people said to me in the psych ward.. And what happened..

I don't like my environment.. I need to change it.. I'm uncomfortable
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Old Today, 03:53 PM   #604
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

Quote:
Originally Posted by Erti View Post
I wish I believed in karma
Karma doesn't include birth-death.. It includes the universe.. I don't believe it has anything to do with us.. We are insignificant to the universe..

Karma is complete when we reincarnate forward to infinity back to exactly now.
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Old Today, 03:56 PM   #605
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

There's also an idea of karma that if you treat someone like ****, the rest of society will find out and cast you out. But there's also small exceptions where someone can get away with it.. Many people get away with it most times in certain situations as well....
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