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Old Yesterday, 07:58 PM   #761
Desoxyn
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

I feel like I have burnout right now and can't sleep
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Old Yesterday, 08:16 PM   #762
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

I googled, "Can cats be more right or left handed?"

"Female cats tend to be more "right-handed," a new study says. Cats have the entire Internet wrapped around their furry little paws. ... Scientists have discovered that many pet cats show a marked preference for the right or left front paw when it comes to walking down stairs, stepping over an object, or reaching for food."
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Old Today, 04:10 AM   #763
Desoxyn
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

People laugh at me and then feel sorry for me. That's my life.

I feel like even my whole family feels sorry for me.

And my cat is still tripping since my bad trip. No one believes me. I wish at least one person believed me.

I don't mind people laughing at me. I laugh at me. But the worst part is that people feel sorry for me.

I'm not ****ing normal.
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Old Today, 04:20 AM   #764
Desoxyn
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

Maybe to solve this problem, I have to not feel sorry for me. Then no one else will.

But I'd have to be crazy to do that. And everyone is just like me. But I don't want to pretend. People are fake. That's the problem.

I try to find such deeper meanings in everything.. Yet I also have a persona that is the complete opposite.. Like a dissociative one to protect myself.

It's really ****ed up. But kind of interesting if I really think about it. Maybe everyone is like this. The depressed people can see hope and have gratitude more than normal people yet so sad or numb. The manics are delusional and can't feel any sadness. What happiness is is dissociation from sadness. But really deep down when I'm high I still feel low.

That's why ketamine works so well for depression. It's a dissociative..

Who am I then? And jim carey asked this question about himself and is very spiritual.. An actor of many personas..

"Jim Carrey became violent when he was 16 due to family troubles. The actor has admitted to suffering from bipolar disorder and depression which have motivated him to do comedy."

And Robin Williams had bipolar and was a comedian.

I wrote a really long post before the one before this but I deleted it because it was too nuts.. Too painful.. ****..
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Old Today, 04:39 AM   #765
Desoxyn
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Default Re: Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili

Roll Call 163!!! Dancing Chili
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