Do you feel more defined by your meds or your illness?

Sometimes psychotic · May 07, 2020 at 12:39 PM

So it occurs to me that I’m very med oriented to the point where I can see people becoming more depressed or psychotic after reducing meds or changing them. I feel like in a way the meds define who we are. The med you pick as your final med can change your very personality, how ambitious you are, how sad, how able to work or not.
There is a continuum between medicine and illness though. A lot of people want to be off meds entirely but then they often become more ill, and the illness dominates them. But then they are their true self for better or worse.
People are all different so where in the continuum between meds and illness do you see yourself? I’m asking this because I don’t want to promote meds as the perfect solution for everyone if they aren’t. Let’s say pro meds is 1........and 10 is no meds with the normal range in between. Where do you lie on that range?

I realize that for some meds don’t work, but this q is directed at people that they work for at least partially.

Sometimes psychotic · May 07, 2020 at 12:41 PM

For me I’m probably a two on the pro med side, but early in my illness I thought I could be off meds safely, I think we all go through that in order to learn it will come back, but I’ve learned I’ll probably never be off meds.

newtus · May 07, 2020 at 12:46 PM

I’m like a 3. Meds help a lot but I learned they only help so much. I spent a lot of sleepless nights crying trying to use basic (mainly basic) coping techniques to smooth out negative symptoms that medication doesn’t touch. It took like 3 years to get to where I am, half of it being my pure will. I had no real dream after I got stabilized on meds. It took literally hitting rock bottom in my personal life to realize that I can’t just wait around anymore. And I think a lot of people are missing the motivation factor. Which may or may not be affected by meds. Meds IMO only help to an extent. They only helped me to about 4, if 10 was the meds helped completely and 1 being the meds don’t work at all.

newtus · May 07, 2020 at 12:47 PM

Cuz I still hear voices and have still have paranoia and extreme fear. So it takes a lot out of me to overcome those things daily.

SlumberKitty · May 07, 2020 at 12:52 PM

SP, this is a really good question. I think right now in my life, I'm about a 3 on the continuum. I think meds and specifically the med combination that I am on has helped me enormously. I mean like three months ago I was in the psych ward and now with med dosages changed and another med added, I'm like actually happy sometimes. I mean, not today, but sometimes. That's HUGE! But I also think that therapy and coping skills, and for lack of a better term life support has been very helpful to me, so I can't say I'm a 2 or a 1 because I think these things come into play also. And I think getting the right diagnosis or what I feel is the right diagnosis. It's like now things make sense to me and I make sense in the world. If that makes sense. Maybe I'm spouting delusional nonsense.

Erti · May 07, 2020 at 01:35 PM

I've actually did alright with meds for the 3 or 4 years while on zyprexa and not end up in the hospital around the time period. I wasn't really doing therapy or anything and I was just the meds. It didnt' help with the negative symptoms either though. I spent as long as 2 weeks without showering, weighting around 240 pounds, and distancing myself from everyone. From what the doctors said at the psych hospital the reason why zyprexa stopped working because my illness progressed really bad and the zyprexa became less effective. The fact that I've been treatment resistant with all other drugs and having bad luck with dystonia and TD with a couple of meds.

But I'll say this... I've not been or have been well enough to say I'm in a position were I would call myself healed or whatever... far from it. But now that I have new everything right now with treatment I can't say if meds help at all or not. because of the Covid I haven't started with therapy and only been doing meds. Everyone is different. Im not sure if I'll ever get better.

12AM · May 07, 2020 at 02:03 PM

I’m a one on the pro meds side provided the meds are the ones that work. Not saying all you need to do is taking meds though. Definitely also need to have coping skills and support from our environment. But if it’s my meds or my illness that makes me feel like myself it’s definitely meds.

WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2020 at 01:02 AM

I'm honestly at about a 6-7 these days. Meds, I feel, have destroyed some element of myself that doesn't get out when I'm taking them. I am working on reducing them with my doctor. It is not easy to do. Like, for years, I never even picked up the guitar seriously. I don't know, I think that I felt tons of apathy in the past. I'd rather feel my feelings. I would not like to become psychotic, obviously. So, this is how I am feeling right now about meds.

WastingAsparagus · May 08, 2020 at 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

I'm honestly at about a 6-7 these days. Meds, I feel, have destroyed some element of myself that doesn't get out when I'm taking them. I am working on reducing them with my doctor. It is not easy to do. Like, for years, I never even picked up the guitar seriously. I don't know, I think that I felt tons of apathy in the past. I'd rather feel my feelings. I would not like to become psychotic, obviously. So, this is how I am feeling right now about meds.

Eh, I should qualify that.

Meds, at least in part, saved my life.

There are two sides to the coin.

Sometimes psychotic · May 08, 2020 at 09:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Eh, I should qualify that.

Meds, at least in part, saved my life.

There are two sides to the coin.

It’s a complex relationship for sure....

Aviza · May 14, 2020 at 08:49 PM

I'm reliant on meds. They have changed aspects of my personality but I'm happy to be sane, at least appear so. I work, I drive, I try to achieve. I'm living a good life, but mental illness has affected my life badly I'm striving on and have taught my daughter to do that to.

Goforward · May 15, 2020 at 11:32 AM

I feel defined by my illness. I fell of a bicycle and struck my head and shortly after had my first psychotic break. The way my mind works now reminds me of my illness every day.

Angelkryptonite · Jun 13, 2020 at 02:58 PM

I'm on invega but it doesn't seem to help much. I've been on at least 3 other meds and they didn't help either.

ShaneG · Jul 09, 2020 at 02:55 PM

TBH, in my opinion, some meds should be banned as there not fit for human consumption !

Jul 10, 2020 at 06:33 AM

I don't know

while meds don't make that much of a diffrence to me and my psymptoms (they don't make it that barable), I know without them I would be off the rails: so I am somewhere in between. they help me function, but don't improve my life by much

Donut9467 · Jul 10, 2020 at 09:20 AM

Well for me I would say I'm leaning more towards pro meds like a 3 or 4 because they have helped me alot but lately I'm starting to think that neither actually define me. I think my meds define how bad my mental illness will be but I no longer feel that my mental illness is defining who I am. Lately I've been talking to my family about going to trade school and learning something to help me out career wise. But there are times like if I miss my doses I get a bit of hallucinations but they don't scare me anymore well not like they used to. I also feel like I'm taking control of my mental illness and how it will have an impact on my life. Not gonna lie alot of this kind of progress is thanks to my family for being supportive and I thank them for that.

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:08 AM

1. Dead without them.

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Sometimes psychotic Legendary Wise Elder Member Since May 2013 Location: Chicago Posts: 26,409 (SuperPoster!) 10 22.8k hugs given	May 07, 2020 at 12:41 PM #2 For me I’m probably a two on the pro med side, but early in my illness I thought I could be off meds safely, I think we all go through that in order to learn it will come back, but I’ve learned I’ll probably never be off meds. __________________ Hugs!
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	May 07, 2020 at 12:47 PM #4 Cuz I still hear voices and have still have paranoia and extreme fear. So it takes a lot out of me to overcome those things daily. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Goforward Member Member Since Jan 2019 Location: CA Posts: 273 5 838 hugs given	May 15, 2020 at 11:32 AM #12 I feel defined by my illness. I fell of a bicycle and struck my head and shortly after had my first psychotic break. The way my mind works now reminds me of my illness every day.
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Angelkryptonite Member Member Since Jun 2020 Location: Troy,Mi Posts: 38 3	Jun 13, 2020 at 02:58 PM #13 I'm on invega but it doesn't seem to help much. I've been on at least 3 other meds and they didn't help either. __________________ The hallucinations say hi today.
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ShaneG Account Suspended Member Since Jul 2020 Location: Unknown Posts: 707 3 371 hugs given	Jul 09, 2020 at 02:55 PM #14 TBH, in my opinion, some meds should be banned as there not fit for human consumption !
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Anonymous32451 Guest Posts: n/a	Jul 10, 2020 at 06:33 AM #15 I don't know while meds don't make that much of a diffrence to me and my psymptoms (they don't make it that barable), I know without them I would be off the rails: so I am somewhere in between. they help me function, but don't improve my life by much
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bpcyclist Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Portland Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!) 4 40.2k hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 11:08 AM #17 1. Dead without them. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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