Roll Call 170

There was a shooting outside this morning. They have this whole street blocked off.

Anyway, I took some klonopin and did some meditation. I’ll do that procrastination meditation tomorrow morning so I can have a productive day.

I feel the need for more kitten....

My mom and me split the money to get some tequila and cherry vodka. Have to make it last. Part of me just wants to chug and get real drunk. But I shouldn’t. Just stay away from it. Getting drunk isn’t even fun it’s just an escape from stress. I have coping that’s better than that. And cheaper.

I haven’t spent any money except my half of the alcohol. Went to some stores and looked around but didn’t buy anything.

We went for a drive today. My mom won like $80 on the lottery so we went around to find a new place to buy tickets. Hopefully we’ll win something with more zeroes attached. Saw some nice neighborhoods we could dream about living in when I’m making lots of money.

I was planning on doing studying this weekend and maybe do a quiz or two or an assignment but the website was doing maintenance all weekend so I couldn’t log on. Oh well. I gotta switch to studying for my exams they’re only a couple weeks away. Eek.

Also I’m trying to think of what three courses I want to take later in the year. I’ve been putting off the math courses because of COVID limiting the options for exam testing but I wouldn’t have to do exams until next year anyway with those courses so I might start. Potentially a math class, computer class, and psychology class.

Anyway I should go sleep now it’s Monday tomorrow and it’s back to the work grind.

Can I just say cog....I’m so glad you’re sharing more of your life with us...

Yeah she became a nurse (Because her mom was one and forced her) and realized that it wasn't what she wanted to do so she got a law degree.

My mom and grandmother had the money to go to the best schools cuz my great grandfather was.. a mason o.o

Thanks I always worry about what I say because I feel like I’m calling too much attention to myself but my psych says that I have to get used to being uncomfortable and then I won’t be uncomfortable anymore so I’m finally getting used to sharing more I guess...

@newtus is Legend Planner the planner you got? I'm looking at planners online since I really need one and that looks like a good one, might get it sometime

This reminds me a lot of me, Blue. To me, this sounds like it is your illness talking to you rather than any other persons.

Hugs!!

Thanks That's probably true, it just feels so real when it's happening

So cute!!!

Oh, man, cog, I just cannot ever drink. It makes my MI symptoms soooooooo much worse. Zillion times worse. I hope your evening is okay.

Hugs!!

I know. I know.

Well, just had a lovely chat wiht an old hospital roommate. He has schizophrenia. When he was 19, he became super psychotic and believed he was on the wrong earth, the wrong planet, and that all the people here were phony copies of the true, actual, real people on the other, distant, correct planet. One of those people was his mom. He became convinced she was an impostor sent to harrass him, so he shot and killed her. Tragic.

He has done well with treatment but his schz is still quite challenging for him. He was living in a nice group home last winter when he received commands to leave. He made it to LA before they found him and returned him to the state hospital, where he is improving. He is just a lovely, sweet person who does not have a violent bone in his body. Has a bad illness, though. Really good to chat with him.

Albert is manic right now. Wowzer.

I was gonna stay up all night but changed my mind, I’m gonna sleep. Sleep is healing and restorative

Excellent call, Blue. Sleep is crucial for you right now. Peaceful rest.

Yea i did! That’s what I got! It’s amazing! Let’s you write down your yearly, monthly, and weekly goals. Has like 50 different things you can write in and it asks you questions etc. I went through maybe 7 planners til I realized the legend planner was THE planner I wanted for sure! Get it!!!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

It must be Cyclist Hospital night. Just put on a movie about someone who ends up in a psych hospital after committing a crime. After the initial scene, where do they end up but... the Oregon State Hospital!!! The old Kirkbride building is from the 1880s and it has been remodeled totally. it is quite beautiful, some nice pics of it. Spent a looooooong time there. Anyhow, I cannot escape, or something...

I feel really uncomfortable where I live.

I need to move to a better place with more room. Like I need a whole new house. Is that normal?

Morning

Drinking coffee

Read a few studies last night about how a lot of schizophrenics drink over 500mg of caffeine a day, which is a health risk.

Turned in my exam....hopefully it’s decent.....just relaxing a couple hours before the interview.....