Roll Call 170

Morning having coffee

Been up most of the night.

But I was worried cuz my dad had his first ever “sleepover” at his age. Whatever that entailed . This lady kept going in and out of his house. I guess to smoke cigs but she was literally in and out every hour or 30 min throughout the night. And her kids dropped her off there. My dad said he doesn’t know when they are picking her up. Omg so weird. I was worried cuz I don’t think she was closing the front door when she was going in and out in the middle of the night. I texted his neighbor and asked her to keep an eye on his place. At one point she was smoking cigs out under the carport near my dads gas cans. Looked like she was picking stuff up. Idfk but it was really weird. So glad I got my dad that Ring cam.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Have you skipped any doses of AP?

Nope I’ve been taking all my meds

I’m stating to get hungry but don’t want to eat anything in case I puke or something......sometimes I get so nervous with this stuff.

Given how cooped up we all feel? Totally!!!!!!!!!!

That's good. It helps to establish an easy routine, like sleep at night and don't stay up all night. And eat at the same times everyday.

Really? I thought coffee was good for us or something. Antioxodants?

My province has been low on cases this whole time and has had five days in a row without cases. If this keeps up I may consider going back to the gym next month. I’m excited I miss the gym.

Best of luck on both, Sometimes!! I am sure you did and will do awesomely!!!!!!!!

Newtus, there really just is nothing like families, is there...

Omg I'm so proud of myself. I talked to the property manager about getting an emotional support animal, cause there's a certain form I needed for my doctor to fill out (which she agreed to fill out) anyway, she said she'll leave the form down at the front desk later for me to pick up. I was so nervous for some reason I was almost shaking. But I did it!!!

What do u mean

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Our COVID stats.

That's great Cogladaid, we've been low here in upstate NY too. But they don't plan on reopening gyms for the foreseeable future which sucks cause I'd love to get a membership and start working out again. But at least I can walk a lot now that I have my water bottle so I don't get dehydrated

Could not sleep, so, took an Ambien at 0230. Lost my mind and started having long convo with the family of three I believed I was entertaining in my apt. At some point, I figured out there was no family of three in my apt. Just me and Albert. Went to bed. Ambien.

Gonna try to edit today. Feel pretty fair, not too bad on the depression front so far, so, maybe I can work for a bit.

Managed to vacuum, brush teeth, clean kitchen and bathroom, so, that is a good sign. Place looks much better.

I have been reconnecting with my 12 year-old by writing her a Cyclist Family Heritage History, from her great grandparents to today. She is the baby of all the babies in the whole family, so, she does not know really any of this stuff. Her mom says she is really enjoying it, which makes me so happy. She and I were apart for 5 years when I was in the hospital. Very painful for her and me.

In the last installment, I told her about my depression and addiction to Ultram, tramadol. Horrific drug. So dangerous. Super potent antidepressant, very much like Ketamine. Please do not start taking tramadol for your depression, you will never be able to stop...

My ex said my daughter appreciates how candid and "raw" I have been in these little writings for her. That made me feel good. Certianly not trying to make myself look good, that is for sure. I am who I am.

Hope everyone is okay. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m just obsessed thinking about school. I just want to study and read and do stuff and get it all done. I’m excited about it.

Also I keep looking up courses during work time thinking about what I want to take...

Not feeling well. May not really be on here today.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Hope you feel better soon @newtus

Hi guys. I'm feeling kind of yucky today. I had a good weekend. IDK. Maybe it was the boss talking to me about maybe having the crew go back to working only three days. Man, I don't wanna do that. It sucks. The sales people need to get out there and do some selling so we don't have to have our hours cut. I've been kind of cranky though for a day or so, and a little self destructive with my thoughts (haven't acted on anything though). I'm not manic but I did buy like three shirts, one dress, and two pairs of leggings. Mostly because a friend of mine sells luluroe or whatever it is. I feel bad for her so I always end up buying stuff from her. I can afford it all but I need to stop seeing her posts on facebook so I don't feel sorry for her and buy stuff from her. The shirts are super cute though. Then a black pair of leggings and a navy pair of leggings so that pretty much goes with everything. The dress I probably didn't need. I need to stop feeling self destructive. Ima get myself in trouble if I keep up these thoughts.

That's awesome @Blue_Bird!