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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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13 867 hugs
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#41
Great workout on Beat Saber VR.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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bpcyclist
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2015
Location: United States
Posts: 3,018
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#42
Lol never mind clozaril won't be ready until tomorrow
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
(SuperPoster!)
13 867 hugs
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#43
This pisses me off to no end. My dad has to take this woman home and meet her kids halfway which halfway is 1.5 hours one way. Fcktrds. It’s already 8pm.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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bpcyclist
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,986
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#44
I've been reading the book "Mans search for meaning" about the concentration camps and it triggers me. It reminds me of how my ex step dad made me dig a trench and said "I'll lock you up in the basement and feed you pieces of fat which you will be too starving to not eat" (He's Polish).
It's just all really ****ed up to me. I sent him a message saying I will find you. |
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bpcyclist
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,986
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7 4,912 hugs
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#45
My mom told me that he's out of our lives and not to message him.
I'll do something else instead of read that book. lol.. |
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bpcyclist, cogladaid
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New Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 1
3 |
#46
Hi happy to be here, this is my first post!
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Princess Tutu
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,912
12 2,894 hugs
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#47
Quote:
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,115
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#48
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The Dopamine Flux
Member Since Jun 2010
Location: Ardenweald
Posts: 43,644
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13 867 hugs
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#49
So glad this is over.
__________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"
The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII |
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,986
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7 4,912 hugs
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#50
Got a subscription to Audible for 15 dollars a month but it's a 30 day free trial so I'll see how it goes.
I can't focus right now but I'm gonna read the previous book that I was reading; With audio. I don't feel well right now. I think I took too many chemicals. But there's a storm! Nice rain |
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bpcyclist, Sometimes psychotic, WastingAsparagus
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,658
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#51
I've been an Audible subscriber for several years now. My library is pretty good on there.
Anyway, tonight I am just having a cup of coffee and trying to relax. I still haven't been able to do work (official work). I mean, they won't fire me if I don't work, right? I am just really anxious about the whole thing. I know they probably will fire me eventually if I don't schedule any shifts. But it's all good, right? I just don't know how to think about work. I know it's probably a good thing to have work right now, but I am really struggling to find meaning in my life and with having a job and whatever else I'm doing. There is basically nothing that is meaningful in my life right now... __________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,658
10 2,911 hugs
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#52
I also love how psychiatrists say like, "oh just take this little pill and everything'll be fine," when in reality it's more like "your life is going to change significantly after taking this little pill and probably won't be the same ever again." I'm not dissing meds, but I'm just saying that reality has really caught up with me this time. I don't like when people think meds are a quick fix to mental health issues. Of course, they happen to be the best treatment, say some people. But it's really about a whole lot more than that, I think. And I am still figuring out that stuff.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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Student of Life
Member Since Mar 2014
Location: South America
Posts: 4,658
10 2,911 hugs
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#53
Also does anyone have tips on how to stop being selfish? I feel like I've transformed into someone who thinks "poor me" like all day long. I am looking to change that.
__________________ "Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!” |
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bpcyclist
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,986
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
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#54
I was looking up what are good muscle relaxers because I took a 5mg diazepam (Valium) today and my muscles were so relaxed that I was able to read while sitting still.
I honestly always need something to relax my muscles. The diazepam wore off and I read that magnesium is a good muscle relaxer so I'm going to take that (I have 180x 150mg capsules that I found in one of my drawers). So I'll take 150mg. I'll see how it goes. I also realize that CBD is a really good muscle relaxer but at 50-100mg and lasts ~1-2 days. I'll write down all of my current chemicals (Meds, supplements and legal drugs) here any why I take them later. |
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Princess Tutu
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,912
12 2,894 hugs
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#55
I'm a lost cause. I should spend the rest of my life in the psych ward.
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,986
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
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#56
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Princess Tutu
Member Since Jun 2011
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 7,912
12 2,894 hugs
given |
#57
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bpcyclist
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,986
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
given |
#58
Daily meds - Invega Sustenna 150mg (Schizophrenia), Vyvanse 50mg (ADHD/Hypersomnia), atenolol 50mg (Heart OCD/Physical anxiety), zopiclone 7.5mg (Insomnia/Sleep), minocycline 100mg (Acne)
PRN meds - temazepam 15mg (PRN for sleep), alprazolam (PRN for dissociative panic attacks), diazepam 5mg (PRN for alprazolam taper), olanzepine 5mg (PRN psychosis and for sleep) Daily supplements - Vitamin D 1000iu (Sunlight supplementation), vitamin C 1000mg (Immune system), 1 fish oil pill (Brain function) PRN supplements - CBD and magnesium (PRN as muscle relaxers), Ashwagandha (Stress) Tapering - Phenibut (Apathy) Others daily - Nicotine (Focus), coffee (Wake up), chamomile tea (Relax) Things I have but don’t use - Alcohol, L-Tyrosine, melatonin, weed This is all. I'm being honest. Good thing I have them all organized. Any comments much appreciated. I think it's a little much but what can I do nothing |
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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#59
Quote:
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Angelique67
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Metaphysic
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 12,986
(SuperPoster!)
7 4,912 hugs
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#60
Eh now I feel sleepy
& Hand in there @ Erti |
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