Roll call 171

I can feel the planets messing with me too

Leo
July 23-August 22

Dwelling on upsetting memories or situations from the past won't help you today; it’s time to seize the power of the present moment. Fix your thoughts on a subject that brings you great happiness instead. This could be anything from a funny movie to your favorite person to a fond memory. The longer you concentrate on this positive idea, the easier it will be to cultivate a genuinely good mood. Happiness is a choice. The more you train your brain to contemplate joy, the easier it is to conquer demons. Practice makes perfect.

Background information is coming to light and all the things that you've been reflecting on in recent weeks are leading to an aha moment. Once the Sun enters Leo on Wednesday you'll feel that full Leo life-force radiating out from you. Your presence is sunshine for others so never under-estimate what you can make possible.

Your lifestyle zone is on fire, Leo. Jupiter and Pluto combine in order to ask you more higher-purpose questions around how you’re leading your life. Mid-week, as Saturn moves back into Capricorn, you could feel as though you need to get your life in order.

Here they are

I don't feel like doing anything. It's too hot.

Please don’t....we all love you here bluebird.....

Thanks , I’m not going to. I just want to really badly.

I still am here.... Just didn't check in for a while.

Having a ton of trouble getting motivated. Getting motivated to work is haaaard. I am depressed.

Edit: I guess that contradicts my signature.

Blue!! What happened!!

Hugs!!

Hang in there, Asparagae. Depression is hard. Hugs.

Hey wasting sorry you’re having trouble?

saw the doctor today, he upped my clozaril to 400mg

I don't know who I am. The psychedelic trip should have happened when I was 14. That's the exact age where I wouldn't have been messed up over the coming years after.

I'm like an AI. I don't think of myself as a real person. I'm horribly confused. There's so many things that I can do - But I do what gives me dopamine (Listening to music and tending to my chemical crops - And yes it's kinda funny).. But Jesus.. I have mental fatigue.

I could talk and talk but I get tired. Everything is pointless to me. I don't want to impress the world, do anything - Get married, have kids, meaningless job. I want to make enough money to consume/create out of survival.

I don't consume things - Like TV, movies, meaningless hobbies - I meditate philosophically. I'm just philosophical as hell. All I see are pictures and I'm in the middle with everything - Indecisive, boring - But I don't care. I managed to help a lot of people - Was it recorded? No. It doesn't make me happy because there's no proof - It's jinxed by nonsensical society of delusion. Like a forest of trees on fire, screaming in pain and all you can see is their mouths and eyes.

So it's like, with technology and the world - All these scientists are praised but people remember things and get their dopamine from specifics - Ignorant about other possible things. I just can't accept that I have to be ignorant about 99.9% of things - Create a life in this trip is an illusion.

I should just study philosophy. But I love music and chemicals - The deep meaning in them. I never liked math - But now I come to see it's relevance in nature - Although I'm always attracted to meaningful things.

All I do is talk to myself everywhere I go - I have no connection just addiction. I bleed for understanding because I've put the work all into the wrong things, changed my mind, convictions, beliefs. I'm not the same person. I like people that have ADHD because it's chaos and we're OK with that.

It's nonsense. There's a cure for everything, there's hope. I'd like to be a nihilistic asshole like Rick in "Rick and Morty" but I'm also have mirror neurons and empathy. I'm tortured by what is happening in my life - and the world. But I just don't care. It's constant reactions to things.

I have insight - Not psychotic. I make good friends that like me - Maybe because I just write and write and they're entertained by my existence. Or I'm weird and somewhat smart. I get mad sometimes but I'm quite calm and see no point in natural reactions. It pains me to see people living when I philosophize things to a deeper meaning waaaay too much.

I have my own dealings withishes. I'm just venting. I feel like everything is like black mirror and the philosophy negative nihilist is right. All of these logical people foolishly saying "You're stupid" when people don't go in depth to something that never ends and the illogical energy people hunting ghosts. It's like a bad trip. People believe things and have their grounding - Play video games. I'm just enlightened and talk to people that are the same too - They are in the most pleasant way, anonymous, modest, optimistic nihilists with trauma.

I just want to be a negative hippie. I already am. People say I'm not crazy and I'm ok - I have good insight. Crazy good insight. It's like everything is just a figure of my imagination. I'm Jesus and Buddha.

new thread

Woot woot!!

is aldi cool?

I've been taking the meds I was finally prescribed. I hope it'll help.