Roll call 171

newtus · Jul 10, 2020 at 08:22 AM

Morning

Took my meds AND my fish oil this morning. Gonna give it to fiancé too if he will take it. Gotta get back on track with that.

cogladaid · Jul 10, 2020 at 08:24 AM

I was talking with my mom and she says when I get a fancy job we can move and she’ll help me get a mortgage if I let her have a room

newtus · Jul 10, 2020 at 09:49 AM

My tongue feels bigger than normal

Desoxyn · Jul 10, 2020 at 09:57 AM

Good morning..

Going to talk to the owner of the restaurant today about the dish washing job.

I feel like my cognition is garbage. Better make a coffee.

newtus · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:06 AM

I think this flavor of Vape juice is making my tongue feel bigger than normal. Like an allergy. Either that or it’s cuz my mouth is dry from meds. Idk I’ve had allergic reactions to certain juices before.

Desoxyn · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:49 AM

I walked into the place and got so anxious. The owner walked me into the kitchen and there was so much going on that I couldn't focus and I met her husband. I forgot that people can't shake hands anymore. He said "Do you want to work today or tomorrow?" and I said "Tomorrow". So I start tomorrow at 9am. I work Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Then I went to the table where my moms friend was and the owner was talking to someone at another table. I thought we were supposed to talk but I guess they just wanted to see what I look like or something.

I drank half of the coffee and then left. It has left me with such anxiety.

Idk if I can function because I feel bad about myself trying to do my last job that I quit cuz the guy that was training me was an asshole.

They're supposed to be really nice people but I'm terrified right now.

Blue_Bird · Jul 10, 2020 at 10:54 AM

Walked to the pharmacy and picked up my meds, plus a dark chocolate bar (90% cocoa).

newtus · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:05 AM

Took an Ativan. Feeling anxiety.

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

here we are living in the ghetto. We have a 3 bedroom and 1 bath townhouse and it's like 862 a month. We have a washer and dryer hook up. However we barely make ends meet ourselves. 4 adults and 3 young kids between 4- 8 years old. Gotta make sure the kids eat. However thanks to a lot of help from the community the kids get free snack packs since the schools closed down. My friends and I caseworker brings us food from the food pantry.

You're making it, Erti...

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:20 AM

Feeling rotten. Might just stay in bed forever.

SlumberKitty · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Feeling rotten. Might just stay in bed forever.

HUGS @bpcyclist

SlumberKitty · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I walked into the place and got so anxious. The owner walked me into the kitchen and there was so much going on that I couldn't focus and I met her husband. I forgot that people can't shake hands anymore. He said "Do you want to work today or tomorrow?" and I said "Tomorrow". So I start tomorrow at 9am. I work Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Then I went to the table where my moms friend was and the owner was talking to someone at another table. I thought we were supposed to talk but I guess they just wanted to see what I look like or something.

I drank half of the coffee and then left. It has left me with such anxiety.

Idk if I can function because I feel bad about myself trying to do my last job that I quit cuz the guy that was training me was an asshole.

They're supposed to be really nice people but I'm terrified right now.

Sorry @Desoxyn do you want a job right now? It seems like you've been having a hard time of it lately. Might be more stress than you need. On the other hand, might be good to get out and be doing something on a regular schedule. What do you think? HUGS Kit

SlumberKitty · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:27 AM

Hi friends, back at work today after two days off. Next week I'm going to have one day off but I'm going to have two half days. I really hate this furlough. I'm going to be making less than $500 a week (take home). Reminds me of when I worked in retail. I'll get a little help from unemployment but after the 24th or 25th it won't be much. Luckily I have some money saved up so I need to just not buy anything that I don't absolutely need and just try to make ends meet. I'm a little worried but hopefully all will be good. My parents might help me out a little.

Blue_Bird · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:44 AM

I took the dose increase of Trilafon yesterday, no problems, today I'm starting the dose increase of metformin. So instead of 500mg metformin just in the morning I'll be taking another 500mg in the evenings

And I turned in the paperwork for getting the cat, will find out if it's approved in the next couple weeks

Desoxyn · Jul 10, 2020 at 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Sorry @Desoxyn do you want a job right now? It seems like you've been having a hard time of it lately. Might be more stress than you need. On the other hand, might be good to get out and be doing something on a regular schedule. What do you think? HUGS Kit

I might be too stressed to work but I'm going to try it anyways. I'm not perfect. My cognition has big chunks missing and my memory feels dissociated. I'm not confident - Don't believe I'm worth anything. This is the best I can do.

I hope I don't end up quitting cuz then I'll feel like a failure. I feel like I'm going down mentally and things will just get worse. I don't believe that I will live long - It's not possible with this mental state. My mind is torture. All I want is for people to stop messing with me. The torture never ends and my mental health is worse than when I was 16. I should be admitted to the hospital in comparison to back then but right now it would just make me worse.

There's no going back. I think this is the end of ever getting better. All the good things about myself are gone or they were never there in the first place. It was all lies.

But I'll try until I can't take anymore.

Desoxyn · Jul 10, 2020 at 12:01 PM

Feels like there's something in the air in my life... something really ****ed up

I feel like the older I get, the more negative stuff I focus on and it all just piles up. I can't imagine myself being 40 and having to deal with double the amount of crap.

I'm going to go on a hike with the community outreach worker on monday. I talked to him on the phone half an hour ago and vented. Idk what's wrong with me but it's bad - Or I'm just stressed out that I'm thinking worse about myself than I could.

I'll try the job. If they stress me out then I'll have to quit. Things don't have to be so hard and complicated but people make it like that. I also hate when people make jokes in hell.

Desoxyn · Jul 10, 2020 at 02:25 PM

You can't be happy all the time
You can't be happy all the time

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

HUGS @bpcyclist

Thnx, Kit.

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Feels like there's something in the air in my life... something really ****ed up

I feel like the older I get, the more negative stuff I focus on and it all just piles up. I can't imagine myself being 40 and having to deal with double the amount of crap.

I'm going to go on a hike with the community outreach worker on monday. I talked to him on the phone half an hour ago and vented. Idk what's wrong with me but it's bad - Or I'm just stressed out that I'm thinking worse about myself than I could.

I'll try the job. If they stress me out then I'll have to quit. Things don't have to be so hard and complicated but people make it like that. I also hate when people make jokes in hell.

Job will be fine and walk will be great.

bpcyclist · Jul 10, 2020 at 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I took the dose increase of Trilafon yesterday, no problems, today I'm starting the dose increase of metformin. So instead of 500mg metformin just in the morning I'll be taking another 500mg in the evenings

And I turned in the paperwork for getting the cat, will find out if it's approved in the next couple weeks

It wil help, Blue.

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Roll call 171

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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 08:22 AM #301 Morning Took my meds AND my fish oil this morning. Gonna give it to fiancé too if he will take it. Gotta get back on track with that. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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cogladaid Elder Member Since Jul 2015 Location: Nowhere Posts: 5,565 8	Jul 10, 2020 at 08:24 AM #302 I was talking with my mom and she says when I get a fancy job we can move and she’ll help me get a mortgage if I let her have a room
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 09:49 AM #303 My tongue feels bigger than normal __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 09:57 AM #304 Good morning.. Going to talk to the owner of the restaurant today about the dish washing job. I feel like my cognition is garbage. Better make a coffee.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,724 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 10:54 AM #307 Walked to the pharmacy and picked up my meds, plus a dark chocolate bar (90% cocoa). __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 11:05 AM #308 Took an Ativan. Feeling anxiety. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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bpcyclist Legendary Member Since Sep 2019 Location: Portland Posts: 12,681 (SuperPoster!) 4 40.2k hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 11:20 AM #310 Feeling rotten. Might just stay in bed forever. __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,980 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,908 hugs given	Jul 10, 2020 at 02:25 PM #317 You can't be happy all the time You can't be happy all the time
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