Roll call 171

Desoxyn · Jul 11, 2020 at 12:02 AM

I took 100mg of CBD (Most I ever took). I usually take 40, 50 and 100mg.

My anxiety is gone. Hopefully it will last for work tomorrow.

I'm gonna get up at 7am and then I have to be at work to start at 9am. Not sure what to expect - With the placement of everything.

I'll probably have to stand in certain places and not stand in others - Maybe a certain way of washing the dishes, prep cooking, COVID rules, something to wear, etc..

I just hope that I don't get too anxious. I'm nervous about it that's for sure.

Hope everyone has a good sleep/morning. I'll let you guys know how my shift goes..

WastingAsparagus · Jul 11, 2020 at 09:02 AM

Hey all, I've been out of pocket because my meds are weird. I went off of olanzapine. I think I'm doing alright. It's just that I still think I need a new doctor. My parents vehemently disagree with that. I know I shouldn't be causing conflict, but it seems to me like my doctor is so "hands-off" these days, and that really makes me angry. Like I know what's right for me. I know that I hate olanzapine because it makes me feel like a zombie. I know the side effect of zombie-feeling is not worth it, either, because it infiltrates every facet of my life. The only weird thing I get off of olanzapine is feeling like my face looks weird on video calls. So that's a little bit concerning. It looks like a weird face, like it's divided strangely at my nose. Is that a weird symptom? My therapist is doesn't seem to like the fact that I feel like a zombie on olanzapine. She thinks I should be more expressive, or something like that. Maybe she just doesn't understand me yet... I wish my meds could be radically simplified. I know it's probably bad to be on two atypical antipsychotics, so why does my doctor continue on this regimen for me? I don't get it. Oh and I also stupidly threw out the olanzapine that I had. That was a poor idea. Now, even if I needed it, I can't get it until Monday probably.

Desoxyn · Jul 11, 2020 at 09:18 AM

Took a diazepam before work. I just want to make sure I'm not freaking out. I start in 40 minutes.

Blue_Bird · Jul 11, 2020 at 09:39 AM

Good luck with your first day! @Desoxyn

WastingAsparagus · Jul 11, 2020 at 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Took a diazepam before work. I just want to make sure I'm not freaking out. I start in 40 minutes.

Good luck!

Blue_Bird · Jul 11, 2020 at 09:56 AM

So no problems with the 2 med increases so far.

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

Hi friends, back at work today after two days off. Next week I'm going to have one day off but I'm going to have two half days. I really hate this furlough. I'm going to be making less than $500 a week (take home). Reminds me of when I worked in retail. I'll get a little help from unemployment but after the 24th or 25th it won't be much. Luckily I have some money saved up so I need to just not buy anything that I don't absolutely need and just try to make ends meet. I'm a little worried but hopefully all will be good. My parents might help me out a little.

Hug, Kit.

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newtus

I’m so so so sad. My dad is basically living in squalor with his house. It’s just so incredibly sad and he doesn’t want help to clean it. I took a lot more of my stuff back to my place. Like 5 trash bags of stuff. But idk. It’s not so much about the amount of stuff he has. Even tho he does. It’s the dirtiness of it all. It’s so sad. Like there’s a mushroom growing out of the wall. Probably cuz mold. Ugh. God. And he won’t move. He wants to be here forever. If I had enough money I’d get him a house or move him in with us.

Why can't he clean it, newtus?

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Very minimal paranoia today, getting better. Didn't hear voices today either for once.

Wow, that was super fast! Trilafon has been a miracle for psychosis so far. I had it for 8 months almost without stop, and now, it i like, gone. for now.

newtus · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:12 AM

Not feeling well. It may go dark on me for awhile. Idk.

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

I wish I can live life without fearing that any moment I'm about to die.

What specifically do you fear, Erti?

Erti · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

What specifically do you fear, Erti?

Death basically.

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

scared to take meds

Why?........

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

Got my exam back....99%!

Cha-ching!!!!!!!

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I snapped out of it and changed my perspective. None of these thoughts matter. I have swim against the stream a little bit but also relax.

I just wish more posts came so everyone would forget about what I write about so I don't look like a fool.

You are not and have never been a fool, Des. We all love you.

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aylamay

I'm new and would like to participate. What do I do? I have been around for eight years, but I haven't been active for a while. I was very ill. Right now I am doing well, except for being totally isolated with no support and no visitors allowed in my building.

I have Schizoaffective, anxiety, agoraphobia. But I'm mostly stable. And most of the time I am doing okay. Today was a very good day.

I would like to participate in this thread, and get involved. Maybe some of you could guide me?

Thanks.

You're already doing it, aylamay. Just post away. Welcome back!!!!!!!!!

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelique67

My friend is waxing wroth about the expenses of me. It's one of those awful times where it feels like he's leaving me. He says that he'll be done with my apartment at the end of summer, and if there's anything left in there he'll hire a junk dealer to take it.

I can't trust myself with the stairs there anymore so I guess I can't really move back. But this is going to cut down on the amount I'm ever going to see my friend. He will have nowhere to stay overnight anymore.

I have to figure out a plan to get the keys to him. Otherwise he'll junk all my favorite stuff.

I am sorry, Angelique. I have tried to follow the situation with your friend but do not fully get the whole story. How are you feeling in terms of your illness stuff? Are you still IP?

Sending hugs and strength. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

My chest hurts. not sure why. It seems to happen every time I eat at night.

Reflux?............

bpcyclist · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

Hey all, I've been out of pocket because my meds are weird. I went off of olanzapine. I think I'm doing alright. It's just that I still think I need a new doctor. My parents vehemently disagree with that. I know I shouldn't be causing conflict, but it seems to me like my doctor is so "hands-off" these days, and that really makes me angry. Like I know what's right for me. I know that I hate olanzapine because it makes me feel like a zombie. I know the side effect of zombie-feeling is not worth it, either, because it infiltrates every facet of my life. The only weird thing I get off of olanzapine is feeling like my face looks weird on video calls. So that's a little bit concerning. It looks like a weird face, like it's divided strangely at my nose. Is that a weird symptom? My therapist is doesn't seem to like the fact that I feel like a zombie on olanzapine. She thinks I should be more expressive, or something like that. Maybe she just doesn't understand me yet... I wish my meds could be radically simplified. I know it's probably bad to be on two atypical antipsychotics, so why does my doctor continue on this regimen for me? I don't get it. Oh and I also stupidly threw out the olanzapine that I had. That was a poor idea. Now, even if I needed it, I can't get it until Monday probably.

Yeah, changing meds can be rough. You will get through it.

Read a little about body dysmorphic disorder and be sure you don't think that could be an option here. Never heard of what you are describing about your face with Zyprexa.

Erti · Jul 11, 2020 at 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Reflux?............

it feels like my heart is pounding on my chest.

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Roll call 171

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Desoxyn Metaphysic Member Since Aug 2016 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 12,986 (SuperPoster!) 7 4,912 hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 09:18 AM #363 Took a diazepam before work. I just want to make sure I'm not freaking out. I start in 40 minutes.
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,741 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 09:39 AM #364 Good luck with your first day! @Desoxyn __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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Blue_Bird Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Jun 2013 Location: Hogwarts Posts: 36,741 (SuperPoster!) 10 14.3k hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 09:56 AM #366 So no problems with the 2 med increases so far. __________________ My Blog: https://livingwithachaoticmind.wordpress.com/ R.I.P mom 8/6/55-1/15/16 “All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
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newtus The Dopamine Flux Member Since Jun 2010 Location: Ardenweald Posts: 43,644 (SuperPoster!) 13 867 hugs given	Jul 11, 2020 at 10:12 AM #370 Not feeling well. It may go dark on me for awhile. Idk. __________________ "We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living" The Dopamine Flux www.thedopamineflux.com Youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII
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