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Default Dec 10, 2020 at 10:00 PM
  #441
Thanks Ang

If went fine. At the least the routine procedure did, anyway.

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Default Dec 10, 2020 at 10:03 PM
  #442
I can't wait to see my mom if she's off monday. She's been doing 60 hour weeks this past month or so.
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Default Dec 10, 2020 at 10:34 PM
  #443
I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I have no idea. But it's bad.

I slept in until 4pm. I have no motivation to write.

At least the olanzepine stopped the fear of depersonalization.
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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 10:26 AM
  #444
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You're dependent on 0.25mg clonazepam a day? That's quite low D:
No, the reality is that I need Xanax XR 1 mg to function, but my pdoc keeps (unsuccessfully) trying to wean me off of it in various ways. I am to the point where I'm just like "screw it, put me on Xanax XR 1 mg, for now, I'll deal with it later."

I am so fed up with my pdoc again. I know he's not telepathic, but hey. I mean he should at least know to ask me about whether the Xanax XR controls my symptoms of anxiety well. I know it's about dependence at this point, but I think he should at least ask about whether it controls the really bad anxiety I have. I have really bad anxiety, and pdoc seems to deny that every time. I know it *would be better* if I didn't have to take Xanax XR, but I'm honestly thinking "why?"

Also, school is making me very anxious as of late and I cannot function in class on the lower dose of Klonopin.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 11:33 AM
  #445
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No, the reality is that I need Xanax XR 1 mg to function, but my pdoc keeps (unsuccessfully) trying to wean me off of it in various ways. I am to the point where I'm just like "screw it, put me on Xanax XR 1 mg, for now, I'll deal with it later."

I am so fed up with my pdoc again. I know he's not telepathic, but hey. I mean he should at least know to ask me about whether the Xanax XR controls my symptoms of anxiety well. I know it's about dependence at this point, but I think he should at least ask about whether it controls the really bad anxiety I have. I have really bad anxiety, and pdoc seems to deny that every time. I know it *would be better* if I didn't have to take Xanax XR, but I'm honestly thinking "why?"

Also, school is making me very anxious as of late and I cannot function in class on the lower dose of Klonopin.

The key problem with Xanax is if you take it regularly you’ll need to increase the dose constantly to keep it effective. Pretty soon 1mg won’t work. Have you tried ACT therapy? It helps with uncomfortable feelings like anxiety.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 11:45 AM
  #446
This is stupid, the idea of not going on social media for a week. Especially during a pandemic when I have no social interaction to begin with. Now's the time I really need it.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 12:23 PM
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This is stupid, the idea of not going on social media for a week. Especially during a pandemic when I have no social interaction to begin with. Now's the time I really need it.
Nice to see you back, you were missed!

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 12:33 PM
  #448
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Nice to see you back, you were missed!
I always do that, say I'm gonna take a break, try to then am not able to do it lol thanks

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 12:35 PM
  #449
My friend bought me a loaf of bread today. He was just stopping by to pick something up and I asked him if on his way he could get a loaf of bread for me and I would pay him as soon as he got here today (I just didn't feel like going anywhere), so he got me one and said not to worry about paying him since I've bought stuff for him before.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 12:36 PM
  #450
What gets me is the randomness of my mental illness.


I'll be fine for a few days. Few delusions. Few hallucinations. Few thoughts of hurting myself. Then bam! Out of nowhere (I do mean no where, I can't find triggers usually) then it is all piled on.

Then I am in crisis mode. Then I get out of crises mode. Then I am fine again for a while. Then bam!


Rinse, repeat.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 02:45 PM
  #451
Feeling better after a lot of sleep.

I slept from 1am-4pm (15 hours) and then slept from 10pm-11am (13 hours).
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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 02:58 PM
  #452
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Feeling better after a lot of sleep.

I slept from 1am-4pm (15 hours) and then slept from 10pm-11am (13 hours).
Glad you are feeling better!

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 03:38 PM
  #453
I took a walk today. Just a short one but at least I got out of the house. Trying to get over my agoraphobia.

My family is coming over Sunday to see my Christmas tree and have coffee.

I have an inspection on Monday. I guess they didn't do it this week. I thought that they did and that I must have slept through it (because they can still come in and do it if you're not home or don't answer the door), but I guess not.

Need to get the bloodwork my psych requested done next week and try to get an appointment with the dentist due to the tooth pain.

Have been doing yoga daily. And also showering/brushing my teeth.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 03:56 PM
  #454
Nicotine withdrawals

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 04:07 PM
  #455
New loafers. Navy blue to go with jeans. Merry Christmas me! I got them on sale.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg shoes.jpg (294.9 KB, 7 views)

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 04:07 PM
  #456
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Nicotine withdrawals
That sucks.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 04:08 PM
  #457
I may try to quit vaping at this point. That’s going to be so hard.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 05:37 PM
  #458
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The key problem with Xanax is if you take it regularly you’ll need to increase the dose constantly to keep it effective. Pretty soon 1mg won’t work. Have you tried ACT therapy? It helps with uncomfortable feelings like anxiety.
I haven't tried ACT therapy, but I have a book on it. It's called "The Happiness Trap" and if I remember right it deals with some of that stuff. I should pull it out again. I am having trouble getting off of Klonopin 0.25 mg, which theoretically shouldn't be that hard. But it is. I keep wanting to go back on it because I feel uncomfortable with the withdrawal symptoms. What keeps happening is that I get really irritable when I go off of Klonopin and I can't take it.

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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 05:42 PM
  #459
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I may try to quit vaping at this point. That’s going to be so hard.
It is very easy once you reaaalize... that it is easy peasy..

But.. I should quit nicotine gum before I tell people that it's easy =p

I just like the cognitive enhancement. I spend ~150 dollars a month on nicotine gum =/
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Default Dec 11, 2020 at 05:51 PM
  #460
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I haven't tried ACT therapy, but I have a book on it. It's called "The Happiness Trap" and if I remember right it deals with some of that stuff. I should pull it out again. I am having trouble getting off of Klonopin 0.25 mg, which theoretically shouldn't be that hard. But it is. I keep wanting to go back on it because I feel uncomfortable with the withdrawal symptoms. What keeps happening is that I get really irritable when I go off of Klonopin and I can't take it.
These are good benzo derivatives for irritability;

"2-methyl-4-(4-methyl-1-piperazinyl)-10H-thieno[2,3-b] [1,5]benzodiazepine" (Olanzepine)

and

"2-[2-(4-benzo[b][1,4]benzothiazepin-6-ylpiperazin-1-yl)ethoxy]ethanol;(E)-but-2-enedioic acid" (Seroquel)
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