Roll Call 177

Took two long walks today. Going to do the same tomorrow

The ski hill will be open tomorrow! YEET..

Skiing today has been really good for my mental health =]

I'm writing this while really tired cuz I slept late and woke up early for 4 days in a row. This will be the 5th day - Cuz I'm going skiing tomorrow.

My meds are working. Got them refilled today. I really needed something to get out of situational depression. I took some phenibut so that might contribute to my good mood.

I hope you all have a decent day tomorrow.

Glad you're doing well Have fun skiing! I haven't ever been but I've always wanted to learn how to snowboard. My brother got sponsored for snowboarding a long time ago, he never went through with doing it professionally but he still goes a lot since he lives up in the Adirondack mountains

Have a phone appointment with my therapist later this afternoon. Looking forward to it. I'm going to my sister's tomorrow for Thanksgiving because she doesn't want me to be here alone on the holidays. I got a gift certificate to get a free half gallon of milk from a local store so I'm going to redeem that on my way home. I needed milk anyway because I have no money and my slimfast shakes need milk, and so does the instant pudding packet I got. And for pancakes if I want to make those.

I woke up so disoriented and dizzy this morning I almost fell over on my way to the bathroom. Feeling fine now though. Maybe it was just a med hangover. I might play my ukulele later

How nice you will be with your sister for the Thanksgiving holiday @Blue_Bird! I'm glad you won't be alone!

Gave Amelia another bath last night. More of the transmission fluid came out of her fur. She was not happy though. I think it traumatized her. She scratched my Dad's arm pretty bad but she didn't scratch me. I wrapped her in warm towels afterward and a fleece blanket. She was shivering. She let me hold her for a long time and she purred. I hope she can get her lovely fur back. It's all sticking up weird right now. I wanted to comb her this morning but she didn't really want to be combed or touched much. She did let me carry her to give her breakfast but I had to respect that she wasn't up to a lot of touch this morning.

Shouldn't have to be at work the day before a holiday! I wanted to take it off but too many people were taking it off and someone had to be around to answer the phones. So here I am!

I feel sad for Amelia SK, I hope the stuff comes out of her fur soon so she can relax, it's probably very stressful, you're doing a good job taking care of her

Sorry you have to work the day before Thanksgiving but I hope you have a really nice holiday with your family tomorrow

Thanks @Blue_Bird!

Hey.

Just reflecting on my anxiety.

I never had the amount of anxiety I had til I had my major psychosis episode at 21.

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Just had my appointment with my therapist. She helped get me an appointment with their primary care physician so I can go there for physicals and stuff like that rather than to the place I currently go which I don't like.

Our appointment went well. We talked about how I'm doing with my anxiety and my eating disorder. How things are going pretty well.

I already got an appointment with him for next week to establish him as my PCP.

Great job @Blue_Bird!!!

Starting to get anxious about the holiday. Probably doesn't help that I am not that busy at work and so therefore I have lots of time to sit and think.

Last year on Thanksgiving night I

Possible trigger:

attempted suicide

and even though I didn't go to the hospital or anything afterward, which looking back was really stupid of me not to have gone, and even though I am in no way

Possible trigger:

suicidal

this year, just thinking about last year makes me worry that the same thing is going to happen this year which is ridiculous, or so I thought.

I texted a friend to talk to her through these thoughts. And she was like, It's not silly. It's documented that anniversaries trigger memories and prompt repeat behavior. (She didn't cite her source so I am just taking her word on that.) So at least I am not being silly and/or ridiculous. But now I am dealing with the anxiety. EEK.

It seems like I am super sensitive. Even when coworkers and stuff are responding to me, I'm taking inflection and lack of detail in response to mean more than it probably does. This is an outgrowth of the anxiety I think. It's unpleasant but I will survive it.

Anyone else starting to get holiday anxiety?

Oh and I talked to my Mom. She is making cherry AND pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving. Decisions. Decisions!

I'm sorry Thanksgiving brings back bad memories SK, I hope you'll do okay, you seem to be doing much better recently

As for the pie, both!

Thanks @Blue_Bird! I am doing better recently. I have no reason to think I'm suddenly going to crash tomorrow, it's just like Thanksgiving is a bad omen or something, you know? Silly me.


I hope you have fun at your sisters!

The one where Amelia is sitting is after three baths. The one where she is walking is after two baths.

Don't know why my pictures always come out sideways

Talked with my psychologist and she says I’m doing very well. Even considering spacing out my appointments more than once a month. She’s proud of me for coming so far.