Roll Call 177

Commence speaking! Haha. Post here about anything!

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

Thanks Newtus!

Post anything except your credit card numbers

Gif me ur credit card numbors pls an I will return you opportunity of a lifetime... Big boat, fast car - Anythinf

I wake up from a dreamless nap and in a panic that I'm going to die. Death has plage my mind. Now that I'm not in the twilight between sleeping and waking up.

I am going to write a novel under a pseudonym I think.

There's something really interesting about psychedelics that really draws me in...

Why? Why???

I must study these plants and read esoteric philosophy..... Or do something.. Find connections and patterns about them.. And the caveman paintings and ancient ruins of prior civilizations, shaman spirits and magic..

But schizzoooo?? No? It should be good. One odd thing is that I was put on antipsychotics for schizophrenia before I ever tried drugs. Then I used psychedelics.. Another odd thing is that stimulants don't give me psychosis - I also respond very well to antipsychotics.

But in all seriousness, what really pissed me off was that the video chat person said that I had to basically justify my whole existence...

They're drugs! Illegal!! I am unworthy of appreciation or respect because I'm extremely curious? And the whole realm of them being illegal is another mystery to me.

I keep following these mysteries. Many people work day in day out - Go home, take care of children, be a husband/wife, watch tv, AND CONSUME PRODUCTS.

Are we not going to eventually get the sword and stab the belly of the corporate dragon and have freedom?

I'm telling you guys.. There's a madness inside of me.. Why? Because all of this stuff - Western civilization, viruses, the stock market/money, poverty, environmental destruction, family problems, suffering.. It's all in my mind. I know a lot of ****.

But people are like "Ah do one or two things and focus" NO. I TRY. I try to attempt making a life directional goal but it's a piece of the puzzle. I want to know the deep mystery.. I want to CHEAT.

The matrix, second chances, revival such as medicine and curing cancer.. Vaccines, conspiracies, aliens, government, mind control..

Am I grounded? Do I sound grounded? Maybe I'm only sick/unwell if I ADMIT to the insanity that everyone goes through. EVERYONE... That has some sort of consciousness.. Ah the Hard Problem of Consciousness.. That's really it.

I suppose I do need to just focus on small bits and pieces and live a mundane slow painful meaningless life. I needed more meaning than most at school.. Because I was smart.. I'm not sure if I'm STILL as smart as I was... But life in general - I can see through the game. "Don't ruin our fun you robot" !! - What? I'm just a really risky person.. I want to feel alive and need to be reminded often about gratitude and focus..

Rarely I get excited about anything. I like breaking rules yet I want to belong to the tribe.. So I go through the grey areas all of the time..

I accept any criticisms....

I have someone in my head that is more mindful lately. He says "Do this when you're finished this, do that, do this".. It helps..

I'm a long ways away from ever realizing true wisdom - It's like I need to go BACKWARDS.. and learn everything backwards.. Or I'm just normal and everyone figures things out like I am now..

So it's like - "No you have to realize THIS" and I'm like "Ah ok I understand..".. And it's just a thing that we're going though.. Like cattle.. What happens in the end? Well I suppose it's like waving your hand through a fountain of water.. Your hand is wet and that is life....

Don't mind me.. Carry on...

I don't know what's been up with me lately I'm acting weird.

I have to wake up in 6 hours to go to work..

Feeling better this morning.. I had psychosis last night.

Cuz of ket.. shhh but I get the Invega Trinza injection tomorrow.

Off work early. Feeling unsettled but no psychosis or panic. The sleep helped.

So it's good. Where is everyone? At church??

Lol desox

I’m eating ice cream and playing world of Warcraft

"We're all born to broken people on their most honest day of living"

The Dopamine Flux
www.thedopamineflux.com

Youtube channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/MozePrayIII

I'm just listening to music and enjoying being inside and not being probably seen as a weirdo for staying inside all the time anymore and not socializing, since it's normal now due to covid.

I want brownies but I'll probably wait to make them till Christmas Eve. I get my Thanksgiving basket tomorrow. I'm probably just gonna put the turkey in the freezer and use it some other time since I already had all that Thanksgiving food this week. But I'll probably still eat the cranberry sauce, and maybe the sides too... stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy. That's all easy to make

I think I'm gonna buy some Death Wish coffee next month. I love it. I don't typically buy it often because it's $20 for a pound of it but it's worth it. So much stronger and better tasting than any other coffees. I need more caffeine, the coffee I have at the moment is so weak.

I’m just chilling. Drinking tea, turning the aromatherapy on, listening to music, petting my cat, and plotting a revolution.

Will go to the hospital this morning to get my Covid test result.

I’m curious about cranberry sauce. I’ve never tried it. Don’t think I’ve seen it in restaurants too.

Hard for me to describe it, but it's really good!