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Old 11-21-2020, 02:22 PM   #1
newtus
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Default Roll Call 177

Commence speaking! Haha. Post here about anything! Roll Call 177
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Old 11-21-2020, 02:24 PM   #2
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Default Re: Roll Call 177

Thanks Newtus!
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Old 11-21-2020, 02:31 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newtus View Post
Commence speaking! Haha. Post here about anything! Roll Call 177
Post anything except your credit card numbers
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Old 11-21-2020, 02:50 PM   #4
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Default Re: Roll Call 177

Gif me ur credit card numbors pls an I will return you opportunity of a lifetime... Big boat, fast car - Anythinf
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Old 11-21-2020, 04:24 PM   #5
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I wake up from a dreamless nap and in a panic that I'm going to die. Death has plage my mind. Now that I'm not in the twilight between sleeping and waking up.
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Old 11-21-2020, 08:37 PM   #6
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Default Re: Roll Call 177

I am going to write a novel under a pseudonym I think.
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Old 11-21-2020, 08:51 PM   #7
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Default Re: Roll Call 177

There's something really interesting about psychedelics that really draws me in...

Why? Why???

I must study these plants and read esoteric philosophy..... Or do something.. Find connections and patterns about them.. And the caveman paintings and ancient ruins of prior civilizations, shaman spirits and magic..

But schizzoooo?? No? It should be good. One odd thing is that I was put on antipsychotics for schizophrenia before I ever tried drugs. Then I used psychedelics.. Another odd thing is that stimulants don't give me psychosis - I also respond very well to antipsychotics.

But in all seriousness, what really pissed me off was that the video chat person said that I had to basically justify my whole existence...

They're drugs! Illegal!! I am unworthy of appreciation or respect because I'm extremely curious? And the whole realm of them being illegal is another mystery to me.

I keep following these mysteries. Many people work day in day out - Go home, take care of children, be a husband/wife, watch tv, AND CONSUME PRODUCTS.

Are we not going to eventually get the sword and stab the belly of the corporate dragon and have freedom?

I'm telling you guys.. There's a madness inside of me.. Why? Because all of this stuff - Western civilization, viruses, the stock market/money, poverty, environmental destruction, family problems, suffering.. It's all in my mind. I know a lot of ****.

But people are like "Ah do one or two things and focus" NO. I TRY. I try to attempt making a life directional goal but it's a piece of the puzzle. I want to know the deep mystery.. I want to CHEAT.

The matrix, second chances, revival such as medicine and curing cancer.. Vaccines, conspiracies, aliens, government, mind control..

Am I grounded? Do I sound grounded? Maybe I'm only sick/unwell if I ADMIT to the insanity that everyone goes through. EVERYONE... That has some sort of consciousness.. Ah the Hard Problem of Consciousness.. That's really it.

I suppose I do need to just focus on small bits and pieces and live a mundane slow painful meaningless life. I needed more meaning than most at school.. Because I was smart.. I'm not sure if I'm STILL as smart as I was... But life in general - I can see through the game. "Don't ruin our fun you robot" !! - What? I'm just a really risky person.. I want to feel alive and need to be reminded often about gratitude and focus..

Rarely I get excited about anything. I like breaking rules yet I want to belong to the tribe.. So I go through the grey areas all of the time..
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Old 11-21-2020, 08:56 PM   #8
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I accept any criticisms....
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Old 11-21-2020, 09:10 PM   #9
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I have someone in my head that is more mindful lately. He says "Do this when you're finished this, do that, do this".. It helps..

I'm a long ways away from ever realizing true wisdom - It's like I need to go BACKWARDS.. and learn everything backwards.. Or I'm just normal and everyone figures things out like I am now..

So it's like - "No you have to realize THIS" and I'm like "Ah ok I understand..".. And it's just a thing that we're going though.. Like cattle.. What happens in the end? Well I suppose it's like waving your hand through a fountain of water.. Your hand is wet and that is life....

Don't mind me.. Carry on...
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Old 11-22-2020, 02:50 AM   #10
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Default Re: Roll Call 177

I don't know what's been up with me lately I'm acting weird.

I have to wake up in 6 hours to go to work..
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