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New Member
Member Since May 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2
12 |
May 02, 2011 at 04:59 PM
#1
I have talked to a therapist for an evaluation, but I feel as though she does not understand the symptoms I try to explain to her, she just passes everything off as anxiety. A great deal of it is, but I feel as though that does not explain everything. Here is a quick list I have compiled of things I experience. Any opinions would be greatly appreciated. If something on my list is not clear, please comment and I will explain further
 o Occasionally hear things that aren’t there. Usually music. A few times I've heard what sounded like someone playing clarinet playing outside my window at night. I checked, no one was there and everyone in my house was asleep. It was so loud, I couldn’t sleep. o Live in my imagination. o Believed I had a “guardian” who would sneak into my house and leave me food as a child. o Believed that famous musicians I idolized were going to come take me away as a teen. Lost 30 lbs preparing for their arrival. Made up memories about them that were so vivid, I believed I was seeing the future. o Paranoid. Feel like everyone is conspiring against me. o Constantly listen to music to block out thoughts. Mind is constantly racing, trying to pick out contradicting things people may have said, trying to prove they are lying to me. o Never had close friends. Never felt comfortable being one on one. Always feel judged. o Generally, people come and go from my life very quickly because I cannot establish meaningful connections with them. o I feel as though, if Im happy in my relationship, it’s because there is something bad that I do not know. If I stop being paranoid and I quit questioning my boyfriend, someone will be making a fool of me. o I feel that, as soon as I trust my boyfriend, everything will turn out to be false. He will not have really cared for me, it was just a “bet” to get the best of me. o Believe that everyone has purposely committed acts that I would not approve of just to ensure that I will never find companionship with them, even people I have never met. o Believe that, if I make people angry, it will change their past in a way that hurts me. For example, if I make my boyfriend angry, I worry he will suddenly have a child from a past relationship. Not that he will go out and cheat, but almost as though a child will suddenly appear. Just anything that would make coping with life harder for me. o Anxious around people. Never feel like I fit in. Almost as if I’m a different species or an animal in a cage at the zoo. o Will do ANYTHING to avoid confrontation. Always putting everyone else first without reward. Do not want anyone to get upset and tell others that I am “bad”. o Taken advantage of a lot out of fear of disappointing or upsetting the other person. Very suggestible. A great deal of guilt and brooding upon past actions. o Unable to form bonds with people. I do not feel as though I have anything in common with anyone else. Feel like an outcast. o Generally will not approach people unless it is necessary to achieve a goal. AKA: Make appointments, get information, directly asked a question. o Will not make eye contact with people crossing my path in public. o Have a very hard time saying “hello”, waving to people, or saying “thank you”. Not because I don’t want to, but I feel very awkward and scared. I worry they will laugh or judge me, as if they don’t really think I deserve what they’ve given me. o Will not go to one on one meetings with friends. If I do go to see people, there must be a group of at least 3 total people and I must know the itinerary in advance. o I do not like sudden changes of plans. o Being around people is exhausting to me. o Feel especially anxious around outwardly religious people. I feel as though they can sense that I am not Christian and that they are damning me in their minds. o I do not have low self esteem. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,176
13 3 hugs
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May 08, 2011 at 05:03 PM
#2
Quote:
You have alot of the same ideals/symptoms/beliefs that I have, not exactly the same but very close....and I have been diagnosied as a Schyzoidtypal Eccentric Personality Disorder..... I wish my computer was better, so we could chat..... __________________ If you believe you need no explaination, if you don't believe no explaination is possible - I.Newton http://solitarysage.psychcentral.net...ing/#comment-2 |
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New Member
Member Since May 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2
12 |
May 09, 2011 at 09:17 AM
#3
Wow, really?! See, for the longest time, I didn't even realize that any of these "symptoms" I had meant anything because they never bothered me. I mean, yeah, I feel guilty about neglecting people who would try to be nice to me, but as far as being imaginative and paranoid, I thought that was normal. It's just been difficult lately because I've finally found someone completely wonderful who would walk on hands and knees for me, but I can't stop being paranoid. Of course the initial thought is "Oh, jealousy", but that's the thing, Im not. I love who I am and everything Im about, but I always have the sense that no one will ever appreciate that. Not in a brooding sense, but in the sense that I just dont feel most others will ever realize what Im worth. I generally dont mind, but with him, it's almost an obsession. Even when he tells me "I love you" and lists off a billion things to back up his story, I feel like he doesn't understand. But I mostly think I dont want to accept it and then become dependent on someone else when I've spent my whole life building up my "empire" of self-reliance. I can't stand putting my future into someone else's hands, but it's terrible thinking I may lose the love of my live over fear of things that have not and will not happen :/
What is the difference between Schizotypal and Schizotypal Eccentric? I've read that there are subtypes to Schizotypal, so Im just curious what makes you eccentric
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Member
Member Since Sep 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 35
15 |
May 09, 2011 at 09:32 AM
#4
Therapist and psychologist are reluctant to diagnose personality disorders or schizophrenia because these are lifelong labels. They have to establish an enduring pattern for a personality disorder. They leave it to a psychiatrist to do or a PHD with a test. My PHD that diagnosed me schizoid tried to make it clear that I was not schizophrenic to which I pointed out it didn't matter because that is how I am treated anyway. He had such a dumbfounded look on his face. You're better off with out the lifelong label just concentrate on the treatment.
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New Member
Member Since May 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 2
12 |
May 10, 2011 at 12:04 PM
#5
I'm just concerned I won't get correct treatment if I'm being treated for something that isn't the big issue. The therapist I talked with didn't really ask good questions pertaining to what I was experiencing because she was in a hurry to leave, and she even told me that we "needed to hurry up." Then whenever I would try to bring up something about my beliefs or paranoia, she would give me a look like "Come on, really?" and so I'd shut up about it. She referred me to a psychiatrist for anxiety problems, but Im just hoping when I talk to the psychiatrist that he will dig a little deeper or at least ask a few questions instead of just giving me pills on the recommendation of a therapist who wasn't in the mood to see me. That's what Im afraid of.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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