[StillIntending]

I'm going into my senior year of high school, I'm homeschooled by the way, I'm hiding depression from my parents, I have a ton of subjects I need to do, a best friend willing to guarantee I make it through if I let him help me learn, but I am just terrified of it honestly. I don't know if I'll be able to keep up. I am barely hanging on this summer and I only have two school subjects. One of which I haven't even touched in over a month. Don't mention the piano homework I was given for the summer, and also haven't touched. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this coming school year, even with my friend's help, and his promise, which I hope dearly he finds he can keep.
There isn't much advice anyone can give me really. I guess what I'm really looking for is empathy. I feel like I look for empathy a lot. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person. I feel like it does. I don't know. I'm just very scared.

[Crazy Hitch]

Just stopping by to give you some words of encouragment and send some positive vibes your way.

It can feel a bit overwhealming when we're faced with everything that needs to be done but I guess tackling small areas at a time will help you begin to feel more confident moving forward.

Looking for empathy doesn't make you a bad person. We all need someone to listen and a shoulder to cry on sometimes.

Hiding the depression from your parents is by no means an easy feat and I hope that you are getting an outlet somewhere to express how you feel.

[Igenio]

Have you tried self help? I would encourage you to do so. And maybe take a step back andtell your parents.

[StillIntending]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

Just stopping by to give you some words of encouragment and send some positive vibes your way.

It can feel a bit overwhealming when we're faced with everything that needs to be done but I guess tackling small areas at a time will help you begin to feel more confident moving forward.

Looking for empathy doesn't make you a bad person. We all need someone to listen and a shoulder to cry on sometimes.

Hiding the depression from your parents is by no means an easy feat and I hope that you are getting an outlet somewhere to express how you feel.

Thank you. I try to break things down like that but sometimes I guess, I can't see the trees for the forest? And whenever I DO get overwhelmed, the residual agitation that happens even after I've resolved the situation just drains me so entirely that I end up under my covers at 2 in the afternoon and can't find the strength to get up even when I know that I have things to do, and it's hot under these covers anyway. (Can you guess what I've been up to today?)

Thanks for what you said about the empathy, also. I feel like sometimes I really do just want someone to legitimately hurt with empathy for me. But. Then. I feel like actively wanting someone else to feel a negative emotion is just the worst thing in the world. So. I don't know. There is very little left that I know.

Originally Posted by Igenio

Have you tried self help? I would encourage you to do so. And maybe take a step back andtell your parents.

I really am not in a position to tell my parents. They aren't abusive, although I'd call them unhealthy for me at this point. I've had other people in the past tell me that I need to tell them, and I'm sorry, but I'm really tired of people arguing with me after I've already told them that my decision is final. I may change my decision if my situation changes, but I really just cannot do that right now. I'm sorry if I'm coming off as strong. I just really am tired of having to argue with people when all I really want at this point is empathy.

What do you mean by self help, though?