[gloamingone]

Well, the title says it all. I'm failing out of grad school.

Things were going well until midterms when I panicked during testing (first time that's happened) and failed two out of three midterm exams. I've been working double time for the past month trying to bring my grades back up. One course I've completely given up on. No amount of tutoring or meeting with the professor could help me understand computer programming. I finally stopped going, since all I did was sit there frustrated and in tears each lecture.

The other two classes were going ok...and then we started a new unit in data analytics. I haven't understood a single thing for the past week. I'm going to fail another class now.

When I got my MBA 14 years ago, I graduated with very high grades. Everyone expected me to ace school this time around--including me. How could this be happening???

I have a big group project that was just assigned in analytics, and since I don't understand the material, I'm going to let my whole group down. I think that's worse than how I'm letting myself down.

The anxiety and depression have become overwhelming and I don't know what to do. I'm in a dead-end job in a career I have hated for the past 14 years, and this was supposed to be my chance to change all of that. I'm tired of crying all the time. I'm tired of trying and failing.

I don't know what to do anymore.

[Travelinglady]

I think computer programming requires the ability to think a certain way--and it's easier for some people than others. How far along are you? It might just be that it's not the field for you, which isn't something to be ashamed about. Okay?

[ducky2030]

Originally Posted by gloamingone

Well, the title says it all. I'm failing out of grad school.

Things were going well until midterms when I panicked during testing (first time that's happened) and failed two out of three midterm exams. I've been working double time for the past month trying to bring my grades back up. One course I've completely given up on. No amount of tutoring or meeting with the professor could help me understand computer programming. I finally stopped going, since all I did was sit there frustrated and in tears each lecture.

The other two classes were going ok...and then we started a new unit in data analytics. I haven't understood a single thing for the past week. I'm going to fail another class now.

When I got my MBA 14 years ago, I graduated with very high grades. Everyone expected me to ace school this time around--including me. How could this be happening???

I have a big group project that was just assigned in analytics, and since I don't understand the material, I'm going to let my whole group down. I think that's worse than how I'm letting myself down.

The anxiety and depression have become overwhelming and I don't know what to do. I'm in a dead-end job in a career I have hated for the past 14 years, and this was supposed to be my chance to change all of that. I'm tired of crying all the time. I'm tired of trying and failing.

I don't know what to do anymore.

What is your bachelors in? Did you have any knowledge or training in computer science topics before enrolling? Im a Web/ New Media design major to include coding and programming, and also took A+ classes. I have seriously considered just doing computer science but I know I skew more towards the creative artistic rather than logical / analytical side, although I do use both skills! If your struggling this much and you don't truly ENJOY what your learning, you should really reconsider! You have to be ALL in with computer science! What type of thinker are you? right brain or left? Do you like to solve problems using logic or using creativity? You have to ENJOY learning this stuff! and don't feel so bad school challenging for everyone! Best Wishes!

[gloamingone]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

I think computer programming requires the ability to think a certain way--and it's easier for some people than others. How far along are you? It might just be that it's not the field for you, which isn't something to be ashamed about. Okay?

Thanks for answering. I'm about 13 weeks into a 16 week semester. After talking to my therapist and a career counselor, I've come to the conclusion that I am indeed in the wrong field. Unfortunately, this is going to be the end of the line for me as far as school. I have to maintain a B in all classes in order to be eligible for student loans in the future. I won't be able to go to school ever again, so I feel like I'll be trapped in the accounting field the rest of my life.

[gloamingone]

Originally Posted by artsygirl88

What is your bachelors in? Did you have any knowledge or training in computer science topics before enrolling? Im a Web/ New Media design major to include coding and programming, and also took A+ classes. I have seriously considered just doing computer science but I know I skew more towards the creative artistic rather than logical / analytical side, although I do use both skills! If your struggling this much and you don't truly ENJOY what your learning, you should really reconsider! You have to be ALL in with computer science! What type of thinker are you? right brain or left? Do you like to solve problems using logic or using creativity? You have to ENJOY learning this stuff! and don't feel so bad school challenging for everyone! Best Wishes!

Thanks for the reply. My bachelors is in Parks and Recreation Management, so this is my first foray into anything like programming and analytics. I enjoy solving puzzles, but you hit the nail on the head. I use creativity more than logic. I love the IDEA of programming but can't seem to get the execution down. The same with analytics.

My fall-back career choice was recreational therapy, but I'd have to go to school for that as well. Failing these classes will make me ineligible to receive student loans in the future, though, so no more school for me.

I feel trapped as an accountant. I hate it and I'm not very good at it. Now I have no way out, and that thought is killing me.

[Travelinglady]

My son is an accountant for the government. Maybe you can pursue other jobs related to accounting rather than the CPA type route. Or even open some kind of business?

[MickeyCheeky]

((((gloamingone)))) I'm so sorry you're struggling... I actually have your same issues. I picked a course that I don't really like (Languages) and feel like I'm stuck with it. Previosuly I've studied IT and computer programming and didn't like that either. I know how you feel

[ken9018]

Really sorry your struggling I know what its like dealing with anxiety/depression while attending school. I transferred from a CC to a four year school and computer science here at this school has been kicking my butt, although my professors have been accommodating to my issues with health problems.

I know you said that you've talked to your therapist and career counselor about being in the wrong field. I did the same thing talking with my docs and adviser and came up with a little bit of easier schedule of courses for myself(it was originally cyber security.) I've finally realized that I'm not going to be a road scholar in everything and that's honestly okay. I do hope that you eventually find your niche and another option out of being an accounting. Whatever you decide to do, you should be happy doing it. Good luck!

[Travelinglady]

I also understand how upsetting your situation would be, gloamingone. I can tell you're sharp. I think a fair number of people try the computer route, knowing it can be a lucrative career, not realizing it requires logical thinking. I struggled with the one computer programming course I took in college.

But, that said, I think you still have options and a good possible career life ahead of you!

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

Originally Posted by gloamingone

Thanks for answering. I'm about 13 weeks into a 16 week semester. After talking to my therapist and a career counselor, I've come to the conclusion that I am indeed in the wrong field. Unfortunately, this is going to be the end of the line for me as far as school. I have to maintain a B in all classes in order to be eligible for student loans in the future. I won't be able to go to school ever again, so I feel like I'll be trapped in the accounting field the rest of my life.

Sorry to hear this. If possible at your school, look into taking a medical withdrawal due to mental illness. At the university I work at, students can do this WAY past the regular withdrawal deadline. It saves their GPA in case they want to try again at a later date when they are healthier. I think they receive W’s instead of F’s.

Hope this helps.

[gloamingone]

Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow?

Sorry to hear this. If possible at your school, look into taking a medical withdrawal due to mental illness. At the university I work at, students can do this WAY past the regular withdrawal deadline. It saves their GPA in case they want to try again at a later date when they are healthier. I think they receive W’s instead of F’s.

Hope this helps.

That's a great idea! I'll talk to my doctor about it when I see her tomorrow.

[gloamingone]

Thanks, everyone, for your support and encouragement. I'm feeling a little better this afternoon. I'm going to talk to my psychiatrist tomorrow to see if she can write me a letter supporting a medical withdrawal from the university. I sure hope she says yes!