advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
HD7970GHZ
Grand Poohbah
 
HD7970GHZ's Avatar
HD7970GHZ "Primum Non Nocere"
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
10 yr Member
2,626 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 14, 2018 at 12:31 AM
  #1
Hi everyone,

I am really struggling with University! I am over thirty years old and I am surrounded by youngsters who seem to so easily manage. I breaks my heart knowing that I am not an A student nor will I ever be.

I am having a really hard time with projects. It takes me FOREVER to write and bring ideas to fruition. I seem to spend so much time on the projects and nothing seems to get done. I am trying not to be so hard on myself but I am truly struggling.

On top of all this I have my PTSD and trauma stuff in the background, low self-esteem, social anxiety and so much more.

How am I supposed to do this? Is this a normal stage of growth in University? I have quite post-secondary in the past and I don't plan to quite now, but this is really hard!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget"
"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"
HD7970GHZ is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
alittlelikemusic, alter idem, Anonymous50384, CF17, Fuzzybear, may24, MickeyCheeky, pluscuamperfecto, StripedTapir, Travelinglady

advertisement
MickeyCheeky
Legendary
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
38.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 14, 2018 at 04:08 AM
  #2
I understand your struggles. Don't give up: it may be harder for you compared to other students, but that doesn't mean that you can't make it It may just take more time. If you really can't make it, perhaps you can wait for a bit before returning to university. Is that an option?
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
HD7970GHZ
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ
seal
New Member
seal has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 8
5 yr Member
Default Oct 15, 2018 at 10:10 PM
  #3
As a current college student myself, I can attest to the fact that you are certainly not the only one struggling to manage. A lot of young kids nowadays feel the pressure to 'do it all' while making it look easy which is often not the case so try not to be deceived/be too hard on yourself. I also struggle with low self-esteem, which can be tough to manage when you're constantly being tested/graded/pushed, it helps for me to focus on the small victories and remind myself that the only way to improve is to fail a few times.

Your age provides you with a unique perspective and different experiences that the younger students do not have, an advantage that I am sure will show through positively in your work if you embrace and allow it. It was a big and very important step when I realized that comparing my accomplishments and goals with those of the students around me was only discouraging me, but rather embracing my background and how far I have come makes me feel a bigger sense of accomplishment and the sense that all of my hard work is indeed paying off.

Best of luck
seal is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
happysobercrafter, HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
CF17, happysobercrafter, HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
StripedTapir
Member
 
StripedTapir's Avatar
StripedTapir 21 yo female
 
Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 92
5 yr Member
389 hugs
given
Default Oct 16, 2018 at 09:18 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
I am having a really hard time with projects. It takes me FOREVER to write and bring ideas to fruition. I seem to spend so much time on the projects and nothing seems to get done. I am trying not to be so hard on myself but I am truly struggling.

On top of all this I have my PTSD and trauma stuff in the background, low self-esteem, social anxiety and so much more.

How am I supposed to do this? Is this a normal stage of growth in University? I have quite post-secondary in the past and I don't plan to quite now, but this is really hard!

HD7970ghz
everyone learns and grows at different rates! try not to feel so bad! There must be someone at your uni you can go to for advice about this and maybe you can get some extra support

its hard, but you're more likely to succeed if you think positive and believe in yourself

Best wishes!
StripedTapir is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
alittlelikemusic, HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
Travelinglady
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Travelinglady's Avatar
Travelinglady is feeling tired.
 
Member Since: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 47,782 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
22.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2018 at 11:44 AM
  #5
Yes, is there a counselor at your school you can get advice from?
Travelinglady is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
HD7970GHZ
Grand Poohbah
 
HD7970GHZ's Avatar
HD7970GHZ "Primum Non Nocere"
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
10 yr Member
2,626 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 16, 2018 at 12:08 PM
  #6
Thank you all for the advice and support it means so much.

I am definitely going through growing pains and trying to hold on for dear life and not quit.

I am currently seeing a therapist at my school but there is previous trauma that I have experienced in therapy, so the whole thing is just ideal.

Tomorrow I have to present with a group of 4 and our group hasn't done the best job preparing it! I am really worried that I won't get a chance to talk about something I know about.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget"
"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"
HD7970GHZ is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
alittlelikemusic, Anonymous50384, CF17, MickeyCheeky, StripedTapir
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
StripedTapir
Member
 
StripedTapir's Avatar
StripedTapir 21 yo female
 
Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 92
5 yr Member
389 hugs
given
Default Oct 17, 2018 at 11:06 AM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post

I am currently seeing a therapist at my school but there is previous trauma that I have experienced in therapy, so the whole thing is just ideal.

Tomorrow I have to present with a group of 4 and our group hasn't done the best job preparing it! I am really worried that I won't get a chance to talk about something I know about.
It is hard being in therapy when you've had bad experiences in it before. Hope it goes well this time
Group work never goes smoothly, unfortunately! Hope the presentation went well
StripedTapir is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
MickeyCheeky
Legendary
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
38.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 17, 2018 at 02:14 PM
  #8
((((HD7970GHZ))))
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ
CF17
Member
CF17 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: NA
Posts: 106
5 yr Member
130 hugs
given
Default Oct 17, 2018 at 03:14 PM
  #9
[QUOTE=seal;6303325]As a current college student myself, I can attest to the fact that you are certainly not the only one struggling to manage. A lot of young kids nowadays feel the pressure to 'do it all' while making it look easy which is often not the case so try not to be deceived/be too hard on yourself. I also struggle with low self-esteem, which can be tough to manage when you're constantly being tested/graded/pushed, it helps for me to focus on the small victories and remind myself that the only way to improve is to fail a few times.

Your age provides you with a unique perspective and different experiences that the younger students do not have, an advantage that I am sure will show through positively in your work if you embrace and allow it. It was a big and very important step when I realized that comparing my accomplishments and goals with those of the students around me was only discouraging me, but rather embracing my background and how far I have come makes me feel a bigger sense of accomplishment and the sense that all of my hard work is indeed paying off.

Best of luck

I make your words my words!
I'm also back to college and I'm 33yo. It's literally my first year and English isn't my first language. I'm a female, I have to pay for full tuition on top of all of my bills, food, and rent. In addition, major depression and recently I found out that I've developed some extreme anxiety. ALL the ODDS are against me. But like I do, use your age and wisdom as a weapon, a tool! And yes, young people are in a completely different state of mind, but so was you when you were young.

My strategy is to NEVER compare myself with others; everyone has a unique life trajectory and personality. If anything, you do have more experience and strength than these kids, so focus on succeeding and achieving your goals instead of 'fitting' in. Also, it's good to be humble and look for help. There are tutoring programs for everything, besides some awesome therapy treatments that may help you to cope with your feelings and develop skills.

After a long time, it's natural to feel 'lost', but trust me, it will go away and will pay off. Perseverance! Resuming academic studies is one of the greatest accomplishments that a person with a mood disorder can earn, and I'm really happy to hear that I'm not alone.

Hang in there. Be strong.
CF17 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
alittlelikemusic, HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
Anonymous32891
Guest
Anonymous32891 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Oct 17, 2018 at 03:17 PM
  #10
Many hugs to you, HD

I believe in you
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
alittlelikemusic, HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
mogwai
Member
 
mogwai's Avatar
mogwai has no updates.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 45
5 yr Member
11 hugs
given
Default Oct 22, 2018 at 02:03 AM
  #11
So many other students I know are struggling too. It's harder with mental illness on top of everything, but university is objectively difficult work for anyone... generally too much course content is crammed into short timeframes, lots of deadlines, etc. You're not abnormal for finding this all overwhelming. I guess there are some students who are able to coast through, but I'm sure some of those apparently not struggling are incredibly stressed out as well.

Does your uni have counselling services? If so, make sure you're seeing one. For the sake of it, but also because they're familiar with your uni experiences and they can provide paperwork should you experience something mental-health-wise that disrupts your study or causes you to miss an assignment etc.
In addition to seeing a psychologist at uni I'm also signed up to the disability support services -- it allows me some accomodations like small exam rooms, time extensions, access to quiet study rooms in the library, and a person who helps me organise myself and keep track of assignments. So look into that too.

Another thing you can enquire about are any study help programs and workshops. There may be services where you can get tips on how to study effectively, time management skills, how to take notes, etc. If not, google that stuff. Learning some of those skills helps.

Hang in there It is tough so good on you for sticking it out.
mogwai is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
piggy momma
Poohbah
 
piggy momma's Avatar
piggy momma loves all pigs. ALL. THE. PIGS.
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,073
5 yr Member
70 hugs
given
Default Oct 24, 2018 at 12:22 PM
  #12
I am 44 and in university. I started eight years ago part-time, took a few courses, and then took some time off. I decided at the end of last year that I wanted to do my degree. I started this past January. I am doing really, really well in most of my classes and really, really struggling in a couple others. Is doing part-time an option? I have to stay full-time to be eligible for student loans, but if I could do part-time it would be a lot less stressful.
Remember it's not all you, too. There are really ****** profs that are determined to make university as miserable an experience as possible. There are profs that just don't teach the way you learn. Is there a learning centre in your university that you can access? Your university should have lots of resources - definitely don't be afraid to tap into them!
piggy momma is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
CF17, HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky, StripedTapir
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
HD7970GHZ
Grand Poohbah
 
HD7970GHZ's Avatar
HD7970GHZ "Primum Non Nocere"
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: N/A
Posts: 1,776
10 yr Member
2,626 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 24, 2018 at 05:57 PM
  #13
We got 98% on our group presentation. Ahh!!!

__________________
"stand for those who are forgotten - sacrifice for those who forget"
"roller coasters not only go up and down - they also go in circles"
"the point of therapy - is to get out of therapy"
"don't put all your eggs - in one basket"
"promote pleasure - prevent pain"
"with change - comes loss"
HD7970GHZ is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
happysobercrafter, MickeyCheeky, StripedTapir
 
Thanks for this!
happysobercrafter
MickeyCheeky
Legendary
 
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
38.4k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Oct 25, 2018 at 02:12 AM
  #14
Is that good or bad? I hope it's good
MickeyCheeky is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ
scarlett35
Member
scarlett35 has no updates.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Posts: 329
5 yr Member
2 hugs
given
Default Oct 26, 2018 at 04:41 AM
  #15
Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
Hi everyone,

I am really struggling with University! I am over thirty years old and I am surrounded by youngsters who seem to so easily manage. I breaks my heart knowing that I am not an A student nor will I ever be.

I am having a really hard time with projects. It takes me FOREVER to write and bring ideas to fruition. I seem to spend so much time on the projects and nothing seems to get done. I am trying not to be so hard on myself but I am truly struggling.

On top of all this I have my PTSD and trauma stuff in the background, low self-esteem, social anxiety and so much more.

How am I supposed to do this? Is this a normal stage of growth in University? I have quite post-secondary in the past and I don't plan to quite now, but this is really hard!

Thanks,
HD7970ghz
I understand completely. University is so difficult when you suffer from mental illness.

I would try and get all the support you can, my university had a counselling service. If yours does it could be something you could look into trying? I found it quite nice to have someone to talk to and to get support from. For the work side of things, seek support from tutors etc? Do you have a tutor who you are assigned to? I always used to go and see mine and she was lovely and great at helping me when I was struggling with any aspect of the work. They may have some good tips for you.

I think it's so important to look after yourself at uni as there's so much pressure to compare yourself, so above all, take regular breaks. Give yourself plenty of time to do an assignment so you can take time away from it to clear your head. My best ideas always came to me when I had a break from the work!

Hope that helps!
scarlett35 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
happysobercrafter
Elder
 
happysobercrafter's Avatar
happysobercrafter is AKA Landon Clary Eason
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
9,930 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 04, 2018 at 07:43 PM
  #16
Quote:
Originally Posted by seal View Post
As a current college student myself, I can attest to the fact that you are certainly not the only one struggling to manage. A lot of young kids nowadays feel the pressure to 'do it all' while making it look easy which is often not the case so try not to be deceived/be too hard on yourself. I also struggle with low self-esteem, which can be tough to manage when you're constantly being tested/graded/pushed, it helps for me to focus on the small victories and remind myself that the only way to improve is to fail a few times.

Your age provides you with a unique perspective and different experiences that the younger students do not have, an advantage that I am sure will show through positively in your work if you embrace and allow it. It was a big and very important step when I realized that comparing my accomplishments and goals with those of the students around me was only discouraging me, but rather embracing my background and how far I have come makes me feel a bigger sense of accomplishment and the sense that all of my hard work is indeed paying off.

Best of luck
Good for you, Seal!! Only compare yourself to you! You see your improvements first hand. Congratulations!!

__________________


"Love you.
Take care of you.

Be true to you.

You are the only you,
you will ever know the best.


Reach for YOUR stars.


You can reach them better
than anyone else ever can."


Landon Clary Eason
Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007

Happy Sober Crafter
happysobercrafter is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
happysobercrafter
Elder
 
happysobercrafter's Avatar
happysobercrafter is AKA Landon Clary Eason
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: MO
Posts: 5,677 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
9,930 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 04, 2018 at 07:44 PM
  #17
Quote:
Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ View Post
We got 98% on our group presentation. Ahh!!!
98%??? That ROCKS!!!

__________________


"Love you.
Take care of you.

Be true to you.

You are the only you,
you will ever know the best.


Reach for YOUR stars.


You can reach them better
than anyone else ever can."


Landon Clary Eason
Grateful Sobriety Fangirl Since 11-16-2007

Happy Sober Crafter
happysobercrafter is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ, MickeyCheeky
alter idem
New Member
alter idem has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: europe
Posts: 3
5 yr Member
1 hugs
given
Default Nov 05, 2018 at 07:21 AM
  #18
It's hard to copy with university for me too. From taking the bus to go to university to taking final exams. Does your university provides counseling center? Try to find out your privileges. In this semester I took a big step and learned my rights as a student and guess what? Now, I'm discussing with my professors for an alternate way to take exams. They were more than happy to help me! It's still hard for me but knowing I have a different ( & proper) treatment , it's a big relief!
alter idem is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
HD7970GHZ
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ
Anonymous32891
Guest
Anonymous32891 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Nov 05, 2018 at 09:39 AM
  #19
(((((HD))))) congrats on the 98%
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,298 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Nov 05, 2018 at 11:58 AM
  #20
((((((((( HD ))))))))))

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
HD7970GHZ
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:55 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.