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#1
My learning difficulty wasn't diagnosed at all in school so as a result I was stuck in what was considered the "stupid kids and troublemakers" class, which meant the teachers we had basically did our work for us just to make sure we stood the best chance at passing our exam and I was one of the few who actually wanted to learn in the class, but due to learning difficulty and due to the fact that most others in the class spent all lesson messing around I was never able to learn much and still struggle to this day with some subjects, for example maths
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MickeyCheeky
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#2
Yup. Finished high school with a 1.7 GPA even.
I had issues with my mental health and difficulties being bullied while the school refused to do anything about it. They put me in special ed classes that didn't help me learn enough and I was constantly being bullied and harassed because I was a white nerdy overweight kid in a primarily black and Hispanic school. I was constantly beat physically by wanna be gangsta kids because of my appearance and personality. I finally gave up and ditched school any chance I took. I decided I would rather make money off being a professional gamer because gaming was the only thing I was good at. Figured I didn't need school when I could win several hundred grand off eSport tournaments. Also didn't help that my mother didn't give a flying **** and wouldn't teach me skills I needed to survive in the real world because she would lie to the Doctors and have me doped on pills I didn't need to the point where I could barely function in school. So yeah school was a living hell for me. |
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Anonymous32891, MickeyCheeky
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Medusax, MickeyCheeky
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#3
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Sometimes I've wondered if I have/had a learning disability myself too. I'm sorry to hear that you were stuck in what you can call "lower-level classes" which aren't bad, you know? They may just go at a relatively, much lower pace, or have lower standards, but again -- that's not such a bad thing either haha. I mean, it sounds like you're worried and you do care about your education, and the fact that you might've not fully taken advantage of it or that you wish you should have -- and hey, that's really great. School is school, you know. It doesn't really prove how "smart" you are. I mean, sure grades and tests can measure your "knowledge" on something, but hey, not everyone is going to master "conjugating words" or master "box and whisker plots". I think it's great that you care, that's a start. Maybe this can push you to do something more you know? Maybe that's going back to school, maybe it's talking to your doctor and getting diagnosed or something. I think you're smart enough to care, and that's great, it really is. But hey, don't be so hard on yourself! : ) |
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Anonymous32891, MickeyCheeky
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#4
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#5
School isn't all that it's cracked up to be anyways.
Just go to the library or get a Lynda.com subscription. Why pay thousands of dollars for an education when you can learn the same things for a fraction of the price? If you absolutely must go to college, find a cheap community college and pay for it entirely by grants and scholarships. P.S I am a bit salty because my reply never got enough attention lol |
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Anonymous32891, MickeyCheeky
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#6
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It's just frustrating and stressful, cause at school I wanted to learn and kept asking for help but the schools I went to were crap so they never bothered to help, they was just like "you're fine" and those of us in those classes they basically did our work for us and let the naughty kids mess around, those of us who wanted to learn were left to get on with whatever we wanted to do and the teachers basically did our work for us |
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MickeyCheeky
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#7
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It cool I understand Yea same here. I think I would have been better off being a drop out and telling my mother to go **** herself and running away from home instead of listening to her lies and dealing with bullies making my life a living hell. Would have probably learned more getting a GED without the drama and heartache and I would have been free of my mother. I was too much of a damn ***** to do anything though. Oh well. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#8
"Also didn't help that my mother didn't give a flying ****"
Darkness???? You and I are getting to be more alike the more we talk. I was overweight as well and my mom was as well but she rode me about mine? She had been POPULAR in school, and just LOVED it. She couldn't/wouldn't understand what I was going through. I could have done better in school had I wanted to but I H-A-T-E-D it so much, that I didn't care. Do you still battle weight? I do... __________________ I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. |
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Anonymous52222, MickeyCheeky
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#9
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I'm not really overweight anymore. I mainly just have a gut and ugly stretch marks that I am insecure about that I want to get rid of. The only reason why I dropped weight was because there was a period of 1-2 years where I couldn't afford a decent meal so I lived off ramen and sandwiches. Lost 80 pounds because I was constantly calorie starved. I used to be 240 but I dropped to 160. I am now somewhere between 170-180. |
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Medusax, MickeyCheeky
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#10
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__________________ I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. |
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MickeyCheeky
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#11
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I'm going to get them tattooed over before too long. Just can't afford it now. |
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Medusax, MickeyCheeky
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#12
For me primary school was far worse than high school. I was badly bullied from my first day to my last day of primary school. I then went to an okayish high school for about a term before my mental health deterioated and I was eventually hospitalised in our local adolescent psych ward for the first time. For the rest of high school I went to an alternative school and they were good, wasn't really bullied but was still in and out of the adolescent psych ward. But they were good at supporting me and the other students were ok.
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Medusax, MickeyCheeky
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#13
I was bullied in every school I went to.
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Medusax, MickeyCheeky
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#14
__________________ I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. |
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Anonymous32891, MickeyCheeky
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#15
Bullies are among the lowest form of scum honestly.
If I ever lost what little bit of sanity I have and decided having children is a good idea, I would make them go to martial arts classes at a young age. I would teach them to not put up with a bully's crap and to never strike first but always strike last. I would also teach them to defend the weaker kids that are struggling with being bullied. All bullies understand is fear and intimidation. I would teach any future children in my life how to put the bullies in their place. If they get suspended from school for fighting a bully, I would reward them greatly. |
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Anonymous32891, MickeyCheeky
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Medusax, MickeyCheeky
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#16
My mother never really believed I had problems in the first place, and then she would tell me just "just ignore it for heaven's sake" and, "Don't you ever embarrass me by fighting, if you do you have lost me...." AS IF I have your support in the first place? Really??
__________________ I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. Last edited by Medusax; Jan 20, 2019 at 02:06 PM.. Reason: spelling error |
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Anonymous32891, Anonymous52222, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#17
Thank you so much for making this thread, whispershadow I've had problems in school as well, despite getting good marks. It was always too hard for me and I was constantly anxious, nervous and stressed. I just couldn't handle it. The same thing is happening now that I'm going to university. Why must I be so weak? I'm so sorry for everyone whos was/is struggling in school. Just try to hang on as much as you can. It's not your fault and you're not dumb if you're struggling. Sending many hugs to everyone
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Anonymous32891, Medusax
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#18
I had a lot (a hell of a lot) of problems in school.
first their was the anxiety, it would hit at any moment and I'd become frozen to the spot (unable to do anything) secondly all the hospital visits putting me behind and thirdly my memory just doesn't retain information. I eventually dropped out at a really young age (which is sad, because I missed out on so much) |
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MickeyCheeky
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#19
my pannic attacks also started in school
so it meant I had to be excluded from events sometimes that was hard, especially if it was something I really wanted to do. |
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MickeyCheeky
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#20
Hi everyone!
Looks like I'm about 1.5 months late to the party, but I wanted to weigh in on this topic. I'm in a very strange boat. I have always had a learning disability: in elementary school and high school I would sit and pore over books, lecture notes, and other materials for hours, and nothing would register. To try to manage my frustration, I would retaliate against the cause: "reading, writing, arithmetic." I became a rabble rouser and class clown: I would imitate the teachers and the "goody two shoes" who got good grades, and disrupt every class. My grades were - not surprisingly - horrible. Somehow I managed to get into a top undergraduate university and business school. I climbed steadily up the corporate ladder, eventually becoming a senior executive at one of the world's largest banks. This was all fueled by "workaholism," and thriving on conflict, adversity, and "proving myself" to all the "haters and doubters." I was "proving myself," and thumbing my nose at all the people who mistook my poor grades as an indication of subpar intellect. I was a genius in my own mind, talking rapidly, explaining esoteric concepts to seemingly interested (but actually bewildered) spectators, and of course, sleeping very little. In other words - I was in the throes of a fullblown manic episode. Then - boom. In the blink of an eye, my mania gave way to depression. This was 2.5 years ago. After my breakdown (2 hospitalizations, followed by about 12 ECT treatments), I did a very menial job at a bank - about 5 levels below the previous role I held - for 8 months. I did "fine," but I found even this low-level role to be too much. In almost every job, I had the same problem I did throughout my studies: I couldn't absorb the information. However, while manic I was able to pull the whole "fake it till you make it" song and dance. The jig would eventually run out, however: I could only "schmooze" my way out of so many missed deadlines and broken commitments. I do have ADHD, mixed with anxiety, and depression. I'm unable to focus on what people are saying. This is in school lectures, company meetings, hallway conversations; I always need to have a pen and notepad to jot everything down in copious notes. This is for fear that I'm going to forget all the information. It's a form of hypergraphia, which one PsychCentral forum had posted about previously. https://forums.psychcentral.com/bipo...t=hypergraphia It's exhausting to try to retain, process, and act upon the information continuously. Eventually my brain "short circuits," and I get very confused and disoriented. I just end up abandoning the project / deliverable I had committed to. I was great at promising things in meetings, just lousy at following through. It's a vicious cycle: after I fail (i.e., miss a deadline or turn in an incomplete / unsatisfactory deliverable or assignment), I then feel more depressed and beat myself up. There appears to be great comorbidity between bipolar disorder and learning disabilities. I was surprised by the lack of articles on this topic. Therese Borchard, an amazing mental health advocate, wrote a great article about the strong overlap between the two. Bipolar Disorder: A Kind of Learning Disability - Beyond Blue Gah…I would love to just be a blogger / write books / do podcasts about mental health. Would be great to share my stories (i.e., bipolar disorder, learning disabilities, and failures in work and school) and discuss with others. Just not sure if that would pay the rent… __________________ Diagnosis: Bipolar I w/ Depression Medications: Lamictal Lyrica ECT - once / month |
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