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Old 04-11-2019, 11:12 PM #1
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Red face Crush on my Professor?

I'm developing a crush on one of my professors. I know I need to nip it in the bud, but he is...gorgeous...

But here's my question. I'm 26, and he's a bit older, so we're both consenting adults. But he's my professor and I'm his student, and that makes it off limits. But why is it off limits if we're legally consenting adults? If I met him at a bar, it'd be a totally different story. I just don't understand that aspect of it.

Blah. Why do I always fall for the unattainable?
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:11 AM #2
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Originally Posted by LiteraryLark View Post
I'm developing a crush on one of my professors. I know I need to nip it in the bud, but he is...gorgeous...

But here's my question. I'm 26, and he's a bit older, so we're both consenting adults. But he's my professor and I'm his student, and that makes it off limits. But why is it off limits if we're legally consenting adults? If I met him at a bar, it'd be a totally different story. I just don't understand that aspect of it.

Blah. Why do I always fall for the unattainable?

Well, as you say it really doesn't matter that he's a bit older. The issue is the power differential. He's in a position of power over you in that he gives you grades, sets the rules etc. Relationships with power differentials often aren't the healthiest...because to have two healthy partners we usually need a level playing field. If you met him in a bar, there'd be no power differential, right?
That's why it would be quite different. Also, most universities would take action against a professor who engaged in a romantic or sexual relationship with a student....so that's quite a big issue right there.

That said, if you just have a crush and enjoy the fantasy about a gorgeous man, no problem. To act on it though....you're an adult so I wouldn't tell you what to do....but I think that might not be so great for you.

As for falling for the unattainable...we've all been there even if only in our minds

Thanks for sharing. Any other guys who've caught your eye? You seem like a very vibrant and intelligent woman...I imagine there'd be a line of fellas waiting to meet you
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:52 AM #3
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That said, if you just have a crush and enjoy the fantasy about a gorgeous man, no problem. To act on it though....you're an adult so I wouldn't tell you what to do....but I think that might not be so great for you.
I've learned my lesson from previous infatuations. It would only be a fantasy.

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Thanks for sharing. Any other guys who've caught your eye? You seem like a very vibrant and intelligent woman...I imagine there'd be a line of fellas waiting to meet you
There's a guy at my work I have my eye on, an equal. I don't have much luck with guys, though. Most guys make me want to be a permanent crazy cat lady.
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Old 04-12-2019, 12:58 AM #4
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I've learned my lesson from previous infatuations. It would only be a fantasy.



There's a guy at my work I have my eye on, an equal. I don't have much luck with guys, though. Most guys make me want to be a permanent crazy cat lady.
There's always hope! I was in a very bad marriage at one point in my life...after which I wanted to be a crazy cat lady! Now I have a nice, loving man. They are out there. Not always easy to find...but they are there!
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:13 AM #5
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Default Re: Crush on my Professor?

A lot of schools have rules about dating a professor.
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Old 04-17-2019, 12:01 AM #6
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Default Re: Crush on my Professor?

I'm not used to having more than one fantasy...also fantasizing about my celebrity couple, and they intertwine sometimes, I'll be thinking about one and then the other.

I like to fantasize about conversations in class. It's hard not to blush when he smiles at me. Gah, why is it always the teacher? I had a big crush on my teacher when I was 12, and I had a crush on another teacher a few years ago. At least it's a common fantasy???
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Old 04-17-2019, 11:14 AM #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LiteraryLark View Post
I'm not used to having more than one fantasy...also fantasizing about my celebrity couple, and they intertwine sometimes, I'll be thinking about one and then the other.

I like to fantasize about conversations in class. It's hard not to blush when he smiles at me. Gah, why is it always the teacher? I had a big crush on my teacher when I was 12, and I had a crush on another teacher a few years ago. At least it's a common fantasy???
There's even a song about it! 'Hot for Teacher' Haha
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Old 04-17-2019, 10:15 PM #8
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Default Re: Crush on my Professor?

It's considered a dual role and can get a professor fired. That said, I had a thing for my dissertation advisor--but he was married and my professor. When I got a chance to hug him after I'd finished my degree, he had B.O.! Dream from a far until you're no longer a student.
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Old 04-18-2019, 12:40 AM #9
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Originally Posted by Travelinglady View Post
When I got a chance to hug him after I'd finished my degree, he had B.O.!
hahahahaha, ohhhhh that cracked me up!!!!

Today, we had a good heart-to-heart. Today's lecture was very intense and emotional, and he gave a speech so moving that I was brought to tears, and we discussed it just him and me after class. I have a whole new level of deep respect for him.

Side note, I have such terrific teachers at my school. They truly care about their students and teach from the heart. I couldn't ask for a better school!
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Old 04-18-2019, 12:43 AM #10
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Dream from a far until you're no longer a student.
Yes, dream from afar, TL
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