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Member Since Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 210
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#1
I think about things I said in high school that were dumb, or I wish that I could do high school again and be a mature person that I (sort of) am now, on a daily basis.
I also think about people from high school and how they are doing now and I am jealous of them. At other times I resent those same people because they didn't care about me at any stage, yet I spend so much time thinking about them. It's one of my weirder obsessions, that I don't talk about with anyone because it's embarrassing. Sometimes I go for weeks or months without caring, but then a random thought will trigger it, and I'll be back to obsessing. In fact the initial obsession was probably triggered because I ran into someone who was from high school, a few years after high school ended. Then I became obsessed with that person. Can anyone relate, or see a way to finally resolve this obsession? |
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bpcyclist, Goforward, Lilly2, sky457, zapatoes
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Skeezyks
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Disreputable Old Troll
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#2
High school was an unmitigated disaster for me (the first of many to come.) I'm 71 years old now. And I still cringe at some of what I experienced. I don't know if there is a way to finally resolve these kinds of memories. Here are links to 4 articles, from PC's archives, that talk about how to cope with obsessive, intrusive, or just plain stuck thoughts. Hopefully something in them can be of help:
Coping with Obsessive Thoughts How You Can Overcome Intrusive Thoughts | Dialectical Behavior Therapy Understood 5 Ways to Free Yourself From Dark and Obsessive Thoughts 9 Ways to Let Go of Stuck Thoughts __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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bpcyclist, Lilly2
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Goforward, Pavlov's Cat
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New Member
Member Since Aug 2019
Location: Amsterdam
Posts: 9
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#3
I don't know if that's unusual. In highschool you start making your first real decisions, as opposed decisions being made for you.
I'm not happy with who I was during highschool, I did not make friends, didn't learn usefull skills outside of the classroom (and not many inside of it), didn't exercise a lot. And I went to a perfectly fine highschool, so the blame is entirely on me. I can still get frustrated at myself for the waste of opportunities. I don't know how helpfull this advice is, but I'd say try not to get bothered by it. Yeah you've made mistakes in highschool, I'm pretty sure we all did. It's good to reflect on your mistakes, and try to learn from them. But at a certain point you just got to let the past go. You say that you go weeks or months without caring, that sounds like the problem is very managable. I don't know how long those obsessions last, and what you do during them. Assuming that they aren't that long lasting, and you don't do anything extreme I wouldn't say it is a real problem. Allow your brain to get stuck on something silly sometimes. So yes I can relate to your obsession. But based on the picture you paint here I wouldn't bother trying to resolve it. But I've the luxery/problem to be generally aphathetic, so perhaps it's easier for me than you to let some things just go. |
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bpcyclist, Goforward, Lilly2
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
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#4
I totally relate to what you wrote. I am still mad at both my high school girlfriends. It's completely ridiculous, but I am. And I have good reason to be. High school is very hard. I don't think your experiences are out of the ordinary at all. The issue is whether these feelings come to gnaw at you and interfere with your life, or if you can manage to kind of let them come and then let them go. That's what I do. I acknowledge them, and then I let them just march on by. So, even though I have these negative feelings, they're not really interfering with the living of my life. Hopefully, you have figured out what works for you, so you don't stay mad all the time, because that would be bad. Wishing you all the best.
__________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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Goforward, Lilly2
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2019
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#5
I totally relate. I have memory and dissociation problems, so I cannot remember my HS graduation at all. I was there, or so I was told, but I do not remember walking the stage. It bothers me to this day. I am 45.
I do ruminate about mistakes I had made though. |
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bpcyclist, Goforward
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Junior Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: Akron
Posts: 24
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#6
Hi. I can relate to obsessing over high school memories. The sad part is that they do not help us move on with our current life. I was the Senior Prom Queen and I had a boyfriend who was 23 years old. Actually, I went to too many parties and it rotted my brain. I blame my reckless high school years for my deficiency that I have at 43 years old. I do not have a bachelors degree yet. Maybe someday I will. The highest degree I have is an Associates Degree.
I also went to a redneck school that did not support getting a good job upon graduation. I didn't know what a good job was. I joined the Navy for 4 years and I found commitment. I am currently going to business college. I think it is cool to reminisce and remember the good times that you had with your friends. I am sure that you had a lot of friends. Everyone moves apart and starts their own lives. It is sad and depressing because there is noone to lean on. I try to stay busy and go to the library, or get coffee, or go to church. I am done partying and I have been sober 16 years. I was in Alcoholics Anonymous until I was strong enough to be on my own. I make small talk with people at work and the diners that I go to. I don't talk to any of my high school friends anymore. I can find them in the yearbooks online. I really hope that I helped you to stop obsessing about the past. Thanks. |
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bpcyclist
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Pavlov's Cat
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Member
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 210
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#7
I saw another picture of this girl i liked in high school today, on facebook. It looks like she still has friends from school, whereas I never saw anybody from school really after I graduated.
I think I'm jealous of attractive, social, women. They seem so unjaded, and happy, as well as mature. I can barely imagine them even swearing. Maybe it's because i dont know them very well. |
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bpcyclist, Goforward
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bpcyclist, Goforward
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Sep 2018
Location: Islandia
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#8
High school was ok and had more fun in college. So high school is kind of like “who cares.” Still have some good friends I stay in touch with from high school and that’s what matters to me.
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