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Lilly2
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Default Nov 01, 2019 at 02:34 AM
  #1
How do you handle impostor syndrome?

Me, I pretend that I'm a superspy and tell myself, "If I'm an impostor, then I'll be the best impostor that I can be." LOL, but seriously. I'm not a spy, nor am I an impostor, that is, in the sense of having already been accepted into some fold for training, work, and otherwise. Still, those feelings come up from time to time - more so for some than others, especially when mental illness is in the mix.

How do you handle the stress, the pressure, the sense of belonging, the journey?
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Default Nov 01, 2019 at 04:24 AM
  #2
I do experience this occasionally these days. The only thing I have found that really helps is using CBT to counter the false narrative. It seems to be fairly effective. The fact is for me that I have accomplished a lot. Before I got sick, I had a lot of career success. After I have gotten sick, my accomplishments are different, but no less real. Just being alive now is a huge achievement, given how bad my illness has been and how much SI I deal with pretty much on an every day basis. So, yeah, maybe I'm not knocking it out of the park in my career anymore, but being sober for 11 years and managing my bp1 as I have are much greater achievements than any career award I received in my view. Not completing a suicide after let's just say some serious attempts--that is an achievement.

I can't really speak for PC members from other countries, but here in America, it is totally doable to become a big success if you are motivated and healthy. Opportunity is everywhere. Having a major mental illness/addiction challenge changes that dynamic dramatically. So, in my opinion, it is completely unfair and inappropriate to compare the accomplishments of the healthy me with those of the 'sick' me. These are basically two different people, in large part because the sick me has extremely limited opportunities now. I can't really work. So, saying to myself that I am an impostor these days is actually not accurate. I achieved a ton, if I do say so myself. The fact that I can't do that now doesn't mean those things never happened. It just means I am dealing with a different set of life opportunities today. Just my 2 cents and, of course, everyone's mileage may vary.

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Default Nov 01, 2019 at 02:36 PM
  #3
I don't know if I really have anything to contribute to this. But I guess I've been what one might term "an imposter" my whole life. It has occurred to me recently that I've been so deeply hidden my entire life I have no idea who I would be if I really tried to be myself. I wouldn't even know how to begin. (If one were to look at my history one would be able to see the wreckage this has caused.) But it's too late to do anything about it now. So I'm simply hanging on waiting for the end.

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Heart Nov 01, 2019 at 02:50 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
I don't know if I really have anything to contribute to this. But I guess I've been what one might term "an imposter" my whole life. It has occurred to me recently that I've been so deeply hidden my entire life I have no idea who I would be if I really tried to be myself. I wouldn't even know how to begin. (If one were to look at my history one would be able to see the wreckage this has caused.) But it's too late to do anything about it now. So I'm simply hanging on waiting for the end.
Awe, @Skeezyks (((safe hugs)))

I'm so sorry you struggled through most of your life with feeling like an impostor. From all the support you offer on PC, it seems like you have a lot of life left to live to enjoy life and explore you.

As a person who has DID, I've often felt like an impostor to myself, given my many different fragmented selves. It's not easy living life this way, indeed.

I'm so sorry that people abused you so horribly. (((safe hugs)))
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Smile Nov 01, 2019 at 02:55 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
I do experience this occasionally these days. The only thing I have found that really helps is using CBT to counter the false narrative. It seems to be fairly effective. The fact is for me that I have accomplished a lot. Before I got sick, I had a lot of career success. After I have gotten sick, my accomplishments are different, but no less real. Just being alive now is a huge achievement, given how bad my illness has been and how much SI I deal with pretty much on an every day basis. So, yeah, maybe I'm not knocking it out of the park in my career anymore, but being sober for 11 years and managing my bp1 as I have are much greater achievements than any career award I received in my view. Not completing a suicide after let's just say some serious attempts--that is an achievement.

I can't really speak for PC members from other countries, but here in America, it is totally doable to become a big success if you are motivated and healthy. Opportunity is everywhere. Having a major mental illness/addiction challenge changes that dynamic dramatically. So, in my opinion, it is completely unfair and inappropriate to compare the accomplishments of the healthy me with those of the 'sick' me. These are basically two different people, in large part because the sick me has extremely limited opportunities now. I can't really work. So, saying to myself that I am an impostor these days is actually not accurate. I achieved a ton, if I do say so myself. The fact that I can't do that now doesn't mean those things never happened. It just means I am dealing with a different set of life opportunities today. Just my 2 cents and, of course, everyone's mileage may vary.
Thank you, @bpcyclist

I like how you added CBT in to help with feelings of impostor syndrome. I can see how identifying and challenging negative thoughts could reduce those symptoms. That's really helpful to know, thank you!

I like your inspiration here, and yes, you've achieved a ton! Impostor is not even a relevant word for any of us who put forth effort to even live sometimes let alone strive for some goal.

I've compared the healthy and sick me all the time, or the healthy days with sick days. I put myself down a lot, and then that impostor feeling kicks in. I have to remind myself that I'm more than my illness, and that my illness can be overcome (i.e., managed).

Thank you so much for your encouragement. You give us hope!
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Default Nov 01, 2019 at 08:13 PM
  #6
Basically, the better my irl world is, the less of a fake I feel.

Bosses are a huge thing for me. (With aggressive ones, I'm instantly back in my violent childhood. Full panic mode). If that element of my work situation is OK, I am generally able to be fairly authentic.

I'm always authentic with colleagues. It's just superiors! Drives me crazy with frustration, but there you go.
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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 12:12 AM
  #7
I feel the same way, too, sometimes. @Purple,Violet,Blue

I can easily go into flashback mode when the boss is overtly or elusively aggressive.

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Default Nov 02, 2019 at 12:48 AM
  #8
Aggressive bosses are a big trigger for me too grrrrr, I'm back in flashback mode when that happens. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Overtly or elusively too, that's interesting. some of them are so slimy grrr (like the paternal unit)
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Heart Nov 02, 2019 at 12:51 AM
  #9
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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
Aggressive bosses are a big trigger for me too grrrrr, I'm back in flashback mode when that happens. grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Overtly or elusively too, that's interesting. some of them are so slimy grrr (like the paternal unit)
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