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Confused Feb 27, 2020 at 06:59 PM
  #1
I am 18 years old and about to graduate high school and I am terrified. I'm not ready to be an adult. I've never had a real job( i am a self-employed baker, that's as close as I have gotten) and ill have to start college soon when I can barely handle my high school classes. my mom has already threatened me with not paying for my college multiple times for being stupid and not passing my classes. I want to start my own business but that is such a risky decision and I have no clue where to start on that and how much college I should do before ill know enough to start or whether I should ditch the idea entirely. I want to open a bakery and that is the only thing I am passionate about. I don't want to get a job ill hate but I don't want to take a leap of faith only to splat on my face. any advice?
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Smile Feb 28, 2020 at 04:59 PM
  #2
Thanks for sharing your concern. (By the way, I'm a life-long home bread baker. And several years ago I had the opportunity to study professional bread baking with 2 French master bakers. So I know quite a bit about the process.) I don't really have anything in the way of advice to offer you beyond saying that, at least from my perspective, it is really important to find some sort of occupation you like. In my case, I spent a lifetime doing work I hated & for which I was poorly suited. So I know something about what living like that can do to a person.

When I graduated from high school, many years ago, I got myself into college. Back then the common wisdom was just go to college, it didn't matter what you studied, you'd be set for life. (What a falsehood that was.) I've often thought that, if I had it to do over again, I'd enroll in a two-year technical college in a course of study that would provide me with saleable work skills of some sort. Then, I'd go out & find employment in my chosen field. And if I wanted to get a 4 year degree or beyond I would do it part-time while I was working. At least that's what sounds like a preferable idea to me at this late stage in life. (Of course, since I don't have to do it, it's easy to muse regarding what I would do if...)

You mentioned your mom threatening not to pay for your college expenses. I have to say that, when I was young, there was no expectation that parents would pay for their children's college educations. (At least that was the way it was in my case.) When I went to college there was no question who was going to pay for it. It was me. So I worked & took out student loans which I didn't finally get paid-off until I was into my 40's. Of course the downside of that is I had to be responsible for myself. However the good part of it was I had only myself to answer to. When one's parents are footing the bill for one's college education, it seems to me at least, that circumstance creates something of an obligation, on the part of the student, to allow the parent to take some interest in the student's success, or lack thereof. I don't know if having your mother paying for college is a good idea or not. But I do think it creates something of an entitlement for her to have some say in how you proceed that would not be there if you were making your own way, so to speak.

Anyway... these are my thoughts with regard to your post. (Whether or not any of my ramblings are of any consequence is another matter.) To me, if you're passionate about baking, that may well be the way to go. Perhaps, though, before you attempt to dive into starting your own bakery, what might make sense would be to try to get some education in professional baking & small business management? Just a thought. Good luck with this, though, however you decide to proceed.
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Tongue Feb 28, 2020 at 06:40 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Thanks for sharing your concern. (By the way, I'm a life-long home bread baker. And several years ago I had the opportunity to study professional bread baking with 2 French master bakers. So I know quite a bit about the process.) I don't really have anything in the way of advice to offer you beyond saying that, at least from my perspective, it is really important to find some sort of occupation you like. In my case, I spent a lifetime doing work I hated & for which I was poorly suited. So I know something about what living like that can do to a person.

When I graduated from high school, many years ago, I got myself into college. Back then the common wisdom was just go to college, it didn't matter what you studied, you'd be set for life. (What a falsehood that was.) I've often thought that, if I had it to do over again, I'd enroll in a two-year technical college in a course of study that would provide me with saleable work skills of some sort. Then, I'd go out & find employment in my chosen field. And if I wanted to get a 4 year degree or beyond I would do it part-time while I was working. At least that's what sounds like a preferable idea to me at this late stage in life. (Of course, since I don't have to do it, it's easy to muse regarding what I would do if...)

You mentioned your mom threatening not to pay for your college expenses. I have to say that, when I was young, there was no expectation that parents would pay for their children's college educations. (At least that was the way it was in my case.) When I went to college there was no question who was going to pay for it. It was me. So I worked & took out student loans which I didn't finally get paid-off until I was into my 40's. Of course the downside of that is I had to be responsible for myself. However the good part of it was I had only myself to answer to. When one's parents are footing the bill for one's college education, it seems to me at least, that circumstance creates something of an obligation, on the part of the student, to allow the parent to take some interest in the student's success, or lack thereof. I don't know if having your mother paying for college is a good idea or not. But I do think it creates something of an entitlement for her to have some say in how you proceed that would not be there if you were making your own way, so to speak.

Anyway... these are my thoughts with regard to your post. (Whether or not any of my ramblings are of any consequence is another matter.) To me, if you're passionate about baking, that may well be the way to go. Perhaps, though, before you attempt to dive into starting your own bakery, what might make sense would be to try to get some education in professional baking & small business management? Just a thought. Good luck with this, though, however you decide to proceed.

yeah, I would pay for it myself but I have such a busy schedule (and have the whole time I have been in high school) and I don't have time to get money. rn my only source of money is selling baked goods and such to friends and family and at markets but since I'm not the best in school, my mom frequently takes away the opportunity to cook. like I have my first big sale of the season in two weeks and she says if I don't do my homework and clean my room ( which is nearly impossible since she yells at me anytime I'm in my room to go work on my homework at the kitchen table s0 she can watch me which is way more difficult since I have ADD and she is always in there on the phone and watching tv) i won't be able to go.
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Default Feb 28, 2020 at 07:44 PM
  #4
I'm sorry you are feeling scared. Graduating from high school and moving onto the next step in your life can be daunting. What is so great is that you are ALREADY doing something you are passionate about! That's AMAZING! Embrace that!

I was always very entrepreneurial starting in junior high school. I am ADD and if I hadn't gone to an alternative high school that let me do a lot of independent study, I probably wouldn't have even graduated! Then I went to art school, graduated, and worked at an ad agency job then went freelance then started my own design business and have never looked back. In art school, it not only helped me grow as an artist, but I saw how people made a living which helped me get my first job as a foot in the door, but then, also the courage to start my own business.

College is not for everyone, and it sounds like maybe that applies to you. Have you thought about culinary school? Would your mom pay for that? And have you researched the different ways people make successful careers as bakers, and how to open a bakery?

I'd suggest that you do some research, talk to some local bakers/pastry chefs and write a letter to your mom explaining how much baking means to you, that this is where your passion lies, the fact that you are already doing it, and how you would like to go about becoming a baker. Imagine you are writing an essay like you would write to the admissions people at a college. Sell yourself to her! This is your unique strength. Tell her how other people have made a living as bakers. Be true to yourself and let your passion come out to your mom.

You are at a crossroads, at the beginning of your adult life. It IS scary but it's also very exciting, and you already are doing what you love. Follow your heart. Ask your mom if she can help you follow your heart. If she can't or won't, arm yourself with knowledge about the baking field and see if you can put yourself through culinary school, or apprentice somewhere on your own.

Best of luck on your journey!
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Default Apr 28, 2020 at 06:24 AM
  #5
Here's what you can do:

1. Look into Federal grants available to you as a backup financing option that you won't have to pay back

2. Look into local colleges and apply for general studies as a major so you don't have to commit to anything immediately. Getting accepted into a college is the first step to getting mom to back down

3. Instead of worrying about taking a bunch of classes at once, study for CLEP tests. You can study at your own pace, and take the test at the college for about $80 (vs $3000 per semester for 4 classes) and use the clep tests to substitute the basics of college credit (first years English, math, science, etc). It saves money, let's you study when you have time, and still gains you college credits without taking you away from what you love.

CLEP – Get College Credit With What You Already Know – The College Board

If you bring this idea to your mother, she might think more highly of you and not push you as hard.

While you're getting to know the college, ask an advisor for the best degree for what you love to do. An AS degree is only 2 years, and it's a "straight to work" degree instead of a traditional "pathway to bachelor's" AA degree. And you can knock out most of it with CLEP.

Show your mom that you don't need her to push you in order for you to succeed.

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Default Apr 28, 2020 at 09:45 AM
  #6
You will be able to take care of yourself, all advice above is good and useful. I did much of my college credits via CLEP and ACT/PEP and, even, performance exams. All fully accredited and the degree paid off. I did not do this right out of HS, I worked first.
If you know where you are going to college, talk to them ahead of time about work as they may have student jobs for those who need/want them.
Follow your passion. A two year degree is a great start and you can choose a focus that will help you learn skills needed to do what you want to do.
The concerns you express sound pretty normal. It bothers me, and I am sure adds to your anxiety, that your mother is using paying for school as a weapon. It is OK to pay for college or not, but not to play with this. If I were you, I would look for a part time job asap so that you can begin to develop an independent self & lose the fear of stepping out there. Right now is a challenge, but if you are up to is, there are places hiring. (((hug)))

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