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puzzclar
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Default Mar 03, 2020 at 08:27 PM
  #1
I was on the phone with my mentor today. And she said that I lack confidence. Hearing that hit me in many ways. How can I be a good counselor if I lack confidence in myself? Then there is the potential to harm another. After I got off the phone I found my headphones and walked out the door and around the block.

Then after I came back, I felt like using my addiction. I'm not completely messed up. (At least I don't think so)

My mentor also questioned is this the right time to pursue a degree in counseling. I responded with I have no idea and I've been asking myself that same question. But then I think of all the people out there that need assistance in my area. I know I can but I don't fully believe that I can.

I"m frustrated. And blocked!! and for some reason, I can't use empathy towards myself. And do I know what empathy actually is??

I've been reading the book "I hear you" and I'm learning it's more about validation. Which is harder to do consistently but it feels good to validate.

I have a long way to go, but I'll get there. I have too!
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Yaowen
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Default Mar 03, 2020 at 08:46 PM
  #2
Hi Puzzclar,

I think it so admirable that you strive to improve yourself. I can only look up to you for that.

Maybe I am wrong, but I don't think "empathy" or "confidence" are all-or-nothing things. They seem to constitute a continuum with various grades of more or less.

It could be that you possess more confidence and empathy than either you or your mentor are aware of. Knowing oneself or someone else can take a long time.

I wish I could offer you some wisdom, but sadly I lack a good deal of insight into the matters you are concerned with.

Hopefully you will find answers to the important questions you ask. I wish you only good things. -- Yaowen
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Default Mar 04, 2020 at 12:02 AM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yaowen View Post
Hi Puzzclar,

Maybe I am wrong, but I don't think "empathy" or "confidence" are all-or-nothing things. They seem to constitute a continuum with various grades of more or less.

It could be that you possess more confidence and empathy than either you or your mentor are aware of. Knowing oneself or someone else can take a long time.
Well said!!! I am stuck in the dark and I'm starting to come into the light. There is so much to learn!
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Default Mar 05, 2020 at 03:56 PM
  #4
I'm at my appointment with t.... And I'm scared to discuss what has happened and what to do. And I don't know where the fear is coming from?!
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Default Mar 08, 2020 at 10:33 PM
  #5
I know that lacking confidence is because of Fear. Fear of Failure, fear of shame and fear that I can't do what I want when I want too.

I had a lot to do this weekend and I am in for a long night. and I hope things will improve for me soon.

I have momentum in Therapy and I now need to capitalize on that momentum.
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